What does Proverbs say about friendship?

"Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend."Fellowship will always have results. Just as an iron file sharpens an iron cutting edge, so the interchange of thoughts between friends will sharpen the other in a way that will show in his countenance. It is true in mere natural knowledge: the more it is exercised, the more it will bring results. Let it be so then among Christians in regard to the knowledge of God and the truth of His Word. True Christian fellowship in exchange of the truths we have learned from God will sharpen saints in keener, more sensitive joy in the Lord and usefulness in service to Him. If we desire results, we must practise what brings results.

"If we walk in the light, as he is the light, we have fellowship one with another" (1 John 1:7). Fellowship and companionship with other Christians are also vital for feeding and developing the divine life. The new nature desires fellowship and companionship with God and with fellow believers Association with fel low Christians draws out the new nature and strengthens the divine desires. "Two are better than one . . . for if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow" (Eccl. 4:9-10). If one is weak in the faith and liable to fall, companion ship with stronger Christians will lift him up and strengthen him. "Iron sharpeneth iron; so man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend" (Prov. 27:17). This is especially true in Christian companionship.

Fine is the description of the friend and precious just as far as it is realized. He loves at all times; sad the blank of not having one uncapricious and constant, whatever the changes of this passing scene, nearer still of a brother born for adversity, where the strain is greatest! None fills up the sketch to perfection but our Lord Jesus, who indeed in His infiniteness went beyond what lips can utter or heart conceive.

"A friend loves at all times" (v. 17). How true this is of the Lord: whether we may be fully obedient or disobedient, His love remains the same. That love may call for Him to discipline us, "for who a father loves he chastises," and we should thank God for His gracious concern in correcting us. Also, "a brother is born for adversity," that is, the Lord gives us brothers to help when times of adversity try us.

"A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity" (verse 17). This is beautifully illustrated in the case of David and Jonathan (1 Sam. 18--20). And the great Friend, the brother born for adversity, is the Lord Jesus Christ. He loveth at all times; His love is limitless and timeless. It is the love which passeth knowledge.

Interestingly, verse 24 is translated in J.N.D.'s version, "A man of many friends will come to ruin, but there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother." To have one faithful friend is far better than having many friends, for there will be no unity among others as regards what they may approve. The one Friend in this verse who remains closer than a brother is of course the Lord Jesus. He will not flatter us, nor will He betray us, but is faithful and true in everything. He is always a Friend of believers, and He assures us, "You are My friends if you do whatever I command you" (John 14:15). Of course, if we are disobedient, we are not acting as His friends at all. May we be truly His friends, just as He is our Friend.

A man who depends on many friends pays for it to his own ruin; but One is become more than a friend, a lover beyond all others, that sticks closer than a brother. Well we know Him; yet how little, alas!

"Thine own friend, and thy father's friend, forsake not; neither go into thy brother's house in the day of thy calamity: for better is a neighbor that is near than a brother far off."

True friendship does not change. Personal feelings will often ruin a friendship when such feelings are allowed to dominate. But let us not be guilty of forsaking a friend if he should leave, at least let us not cause a separation. How precious a character is constancy, fidelity, faithfulness! In this case, while a brother spoken of here is of course a natural relative, the "friend" speaks not of natural relationship, but of another relationship willingly assumed, and therefore applicable to spiritual fellowship. Shall we dare to forsake saints whose fellowship God has given us, just because of personal feelings, irritations, jealousies? - or merely because we desire easier circumstances or more congenial fellowship? But unwavering stability will require proper self-judgment and exercise of soul: it is not natural nor mechanical.

Moreover, if calamity should befall us, wisdom does not look for comfort from a mere natural relative, "a brother far off." we all know the tendency for families to draw apart, so that in time any proper understanding between brothers is lost. This painful fact is how strong a witness that merely natural relationships are not stable, nor lasting. "A neighbor that is near" is better, - that is, of course, when one has the proper character of a neighbor. Compare Luke 10:36, 37. Certainly this is intended to teach us the nearer relationship of those who are born of God, whose comfort, help, encouragement is on a basis of faith and of true understanding; just as the Lord Jesus acknowledged no relationship but that of "these which hear the Word of God, and do it" (Luke 8:21). Of course, if a brother is also a "brother in the Lord," this makes all the difference.

It is the property of real love, to prove its activity; if it abide hidden when called to speak or work according to the heart, it betrays self rather than true affection. Even if there is a faultiness, love is bound to give "open rebuke." Indifference passes for much in this world, but it is the reverse of love, and cares for self, when it hides to spare danger and yet pretends affection.

A friend's wounds, on the contrary, are faithful, for God's will is thus done, even though misunderstood and resented for a while. An enemy betrays himself by the very profuseness of his kisses. God is not in such a display, but too often no more than partisanship in a human cause.

"Open rebuke is better than secret love" and "faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful" (verses 5-6). A wise man welcomes open criticism and rebuke, though such rebuke may wound, yet being given by the faithfulness of a friend, it is far better than the deceitful kisses of a flattering enemy. The 14th verse may be linked with these statements. "He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse unto him." Insincerity lurks behind such loud, pharisaical protestations of friendship.