Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart; and the sweetness of one's friend is [the fruit] of hearty counsel.
This proverb sets two pleasures side by side: the lift a sweet scent gives the heart, and the warmth of a friend who speaks honestly. Both were built into the world, and both raise a question about what makes counsel sweet.
The first half of the verse matches experience. Fragrance revives a person who is low. One commentator sees this as God's own arrangement: even barren land yields the raw material for perfume. He then puts the second half of the proverb on the same level.
God has arranged the earth and man so that even the desert produces oil and perfume. These refresh a heart in low spirits — not only in the desert, but in lands where there is plenty. But the hearty counsel of one's friend is no less sweet.
Why should fragrance be the picture chosen? One commentator traces the picture back to the holy oil and incense of the tabernacle, the tent where Israel worshipped God. Both belonged to God alone.
God made us so that sweet scents please us in a special way. This teaches us that the Creator Himself delights in what is spiritually fragrant. Ointment is plainly a symbol of the worship of the heart, as Mary's anointing of the feet of the Lord Jesus shows (John 12:3)... It served to anoint the priests and the vessels of the tabernacle, the one place where Israel worshipped the Lord alone... God cannot share His glory with man. He will not let anyone give anything like worship to a creature (Exodus 30:34-38).
One writer names what that perfume stands for: the name of Christ, held in the heart. He also warns how little it takes to spoil it.
Merely copying the excellence of our Lord — claiming faith without the heart behind it — will meet His severe rebuke (Amos 6:6). And does it not apply to the sinful nature still in the believer? Wherever we allow quarrelling, pride and empty boasting, they are dead flies in the perfumer's oil (Ecclesiastes 10:1). They spoil all its fragrance... Let His name be in the hearts of His redeemed people here like "oil poured out" (Song of Solomon 1:3). This is the "oil and perfume" that "make the heart glad" (Proverbs 27:9).
The second half of the verse does not say a friend is sweet simply for being agreeable. In one rendering the sweetness is the fruit of hearty counsel. It grows out of open, honest talk — with God, and with other believers.
"The sweetness of one's friend is the fruit of hearty counsel." When people take counsel together openly and whole-heartedly, the effects are sweet. How true this is of our communion with God. It is just as true wherever there is honest, warm trust among God's people.
The same chapter presses the point further. Real exchange between friends leaves a visible mark.
"Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another" — older translations read "sharpens the countenance of his friend." Fellowship will always have results... True Christian fellowship shares the truths we have learned from God. It sharpens believers into keener joy in the Lord and greater usefulness in serving Him. If we want results, we must practise what brings results.
Scripture does not treat fragrance as always innocent. The same thing that gladdens the heart can also serve plain luxury and sin.
Proverbs 27:9 says, "Oil and perfume make the heart glad." But people can also use it for plain luxury, or for sin, when the heart is away from God. Proverbs 7:17; Isaiah 57:9.
- Made for fragrance. God arranged the earth so that even the desert yields perfume. The gladness of this verse is designed, not accidental.
- Fragrance means worship. The holy oil and incense belonged to God alone. Our delight in sweet scent mirrors His delight in what is spiritually fragrant.
- The perfume is a Person. The name of Christ held in the heart is the oil poured out. Quarrelling, pride and boasting act like dead flies that spoil the whole jar.
- Friendship carries the same fragrance. The sweetness of a friend is the fruit of hearty counsel — open, whole-hearted talk, with God and with other believers.
- Fragrance can be faked. The same oil that gladdens the heart becomes luxury or sin when the heart is away from God. Test what you are pouring out, and on whom.
Thine own friend, and thy father's friend, forsake not; and go not into thy brother's house in the day of thy calamity better is a neighbour that is near than a brother far off.
This proverb gives two warnings, then a comparison that is harder to swallow. How can a neighbour rank above your own brother?
The first half of the verse guards ties that already exist, including one handed down from a father. One writer warns against letting personal feelings decide who stays in our lives.
True friendship does not change. Personal feelings often ruin a friendship when we let them take over. But let us not be guilty of forsaking a friend if he should leave; at least let us not cause a separation. Constancy, loyalty, faithfulness — what a precious character that is! Here the brother spoken of is of course a natural relative. But the "friend" does not speak of a natural relationship. It speaks of another relationship that is willingly taken up, and so it applies to spiritual fellowship. Will we dare to abandon fellow believers whose fellowship God has given us? Will we do it over personal feelings, irritations or jealousies — or just because we want easier circumstances and more agreeable company? But staying steady needs honest self-judgment and real work in the soul. It is not natural, and it is not automatic.
The second half is more surprising. Running to a brother in trouble sounds like the obvious move. One writer explains why it often backfires.
In a world that forgets, we should make even more of our own friend, and of our father's friend too. Still, in the day of calamity, it is unwise to rush for sympathy, even to a brother. A neighbour who is near is likely to prove better than a brother far away. A claim irritates; love is free and holy.
"Far away" is not only about miles. Distance also grows inside families over time.
If disaster comes on us, wisdom does not look for comfort from a mere natural relative, "a brother who is far away." We all know how families tend to drift apart. In time any real understanding between brothers is lost. This painful fact is strong evidence that natural relationships on their own are not stable or lasting. "A neighbor who is near" is better — that is, of course, when one has the proper character of a neighbor. Compare Luke 10:36-37. Certainly this is meant to teach us the closer relationship of those who are born of God. Their comfort, help and encouragement rest on faith and true understanding. In the same way the Lord Jesus recognised no relationship except that of "those who hear the word of God and do it" (Luke 8:21). Of course, if a brother is also a brother in the Lord, that makes all the difference.
Grant points here to the good Samaritan — the stranger who stopped for a wounded man while others walked past. Another writer turns that story into a question aimed straight at the reader.
Do you ever want a neighbour? Whom do you go to in your trouble? ... He came where the poor man was. The priest and the Levite passed by. But He sees and enters into the whole character of the evil and of the suffering man. ... He comes to meet you in your distress. He does not stretch out His hand and send favours from a distance. He enters into all the circumstances. He knows closely the need of the one who needs help.
The verse sets a friend beside a brother. One writer takes that comparison further, and points to the Friend who is closer than any brother.
Where friendship is true and real there is no restraint, and a friend may be better than a brother. This "Friend who loves at all times" is the one who "sticks closer than a brother." We do not tell our secrets to strangers. But to a friend we love and trust we tell our innermost thoughts and unload our cares. The basis of friendship is confidence and love.
- Keep. Hold on to a friend, and to a father's friend too. Personal feelings, jealousy or the wish for easier company are no reason to let go.
- Don't presume. In trouble, rushing to a brother for sympathy is unwise. A claim irritates; love is free.
- Near beats blood. Families drift, so blood ties alone are not stable. A neighbour near you helps more than a brother far away — when he truly acts like a neighbour.
- Nearness defined. The good Samaritan shows what nearness means. It is not favours sent from a distance. It is entering the whole situation of the one who needs help.
- The nearest of all. Behind the proverb stands the Friend who loves at all times and sticks closer than a brother. Real friendship rests on confidence and love.