Proverbs 27:5–6

Real love proves itself by acting. If it stays hidden when the heart calls it to speak or work, it betrays self rather than true affection. Even if there is a fault, love is bound to give "open rebuke." Indifference passes for much in this world. But it is the opposite of love. It cares for self when it hides to avoid danger and yet pretends affection.

When wrong is present, wisdom will seek to bring the help that meets the wrong. Secret love may wink at the evil, but this is not the true love of God: it is no help to the guilty party. Candid open rebuke in a spirit of kindness, not of mere censure, is both honesty and goodness. It may wound to some degree, even when done in a lowly, friendly way. But even the offender should recognise faithfulness in this. If he takes it to heart in the right way, his wounds will heal well. Moreover, it may lead him to love the wise reprover.

A wise man welcomes open criticism and rebuke, though such rebuke may wound, yet being given by the faithfulness of a friend, it is far better than the deceitful kisses of a flattering enemy. Verse 14 may be linked with these statements: "Whoever blesses his neighbour with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, will be counted as cursing." Insincerity lurks behind such loud, showy protestations of friendship.

A friend's wounds, on the contrary, are faithful. In this way God's will is done, even though people misunderstand and resent it for a while. An enemy gives himself away by the very lavishness of his kisses. God is not in such a display, but too often it is no more than taking sides in a human cause.

Suppose we say offensive things on purpose, under the pretence of exposing some evil and telling a brother the plain truth for his good. Then we can be sure that malice in the heart is behind our offensive words. How often people have excused the most malicious words by quoting the scripture, "Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend." But how few could quote the words that come just before. Those words warn us not to use this scripture carelessly, for they ask, "who can stand before jealousy?" (Prov. 27:4-6).

If we have to oppose a brother, then it should be to his face, and not behind his back. Too often the opposite happens. The man judged to be at fault is the last to hear of it, and perhaps only by a side hint. Meanwhile others freely discuss his supposed errors. All this is wrong. If we have anything to say to a brother, let us go to him and say it to his own face first of all. And let us say nothing behind his back that we would not say to his face.

The oil makes the nail drive without splitting the board. The word never enters the heart more kindly than when it falls most gently. Be as rough to your people's sins as you can, so long as you are gentle to their souls. Do you take the rod of reproof into your hand? Let them see that love, not wrath, gives the blow.

There is yet another case. It is exceptional, no doubt, but by no means impossible. Someone takes these words of Scripture and uses them to shut down all faithful correction. This shows a very unhealthy condition of soul. It is shrinking from the light. For "whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God" (John 3:21).

It is the property of real love to prove its activity. If it stays hidden when it is called to speak or work according to the heart, it betrays self rather than true affection. Even if there is a fault, love is bound to give "open rebuke." Indifference passes for much in this world. But when it hides to spare danger and yet pretends affection, it is the opposite of love and cares for self.

A friend's wounds, on the contrary, are faithful, because they carry out God's will, even though people misunderstand and resent them for a while.

Secret love may turn a blind eye to the evil, but this is not the true love of God: it is no help to the guilty party. Open, honest rebuke in a spirit of kindness, not of mere blame, is both honesty and goodness. It may wound to some degree, even when done in a lowly, friendly way. But even the offender should see faithfulness in this. If he takes it to heart, his wounds will heal well. It may even lead him to love the one who wisely corrected him. Again, to do this work rightly takes true self-judgment and communion with God.

An enemy betrays himself by the very abundance of his kisses. God is not in such a display, but too often it is no more than taking sides in a human cause.

Note this: Orpah showed more outward affection for Naomi than Ruth did. But Ruth's affection was deeper and more sincere. Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her. Judas kissed the Saviour and betrayed Him… It is not the outward profession of Christianity that counts, but practical affection for the Person of Christ. How do we stand in this?

Judas illustrates the last part of this verse, in his betrayal of Jesus. Paul illustrates the first part, in his treatment of Peter. He goes to him openly, and in public he exposes the glaring inconsistency Peter had been just as publicly guilty of… He was convinced that Peter, deep down, loved the Lord, the Gentiles, and himself. That explains the faithfulness of his public address. It is a model of plain speaking joined with tact, and of clear reasoning joined with persuasion.

Sometimes we say offensive things on purpose, under the pretence of exposing some evil and telling a brother the plain truth for his good. When we do, we may be sure that malice in the heart is behind our offensive words. How often people excuse the most malicious words by quoting the scripture, "Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend." How few could quote the words that come just before it. Those words warn us not to use this scripture lightly.