What are the stages of love in Song of Solomon?
The Song of Solomon does not describe love as a fixed state but as something that grows, and commentators trace that growth through three sayings the bride makes about her Beloved. The question is what changes between them — and what has to happen in her before she can say the last one.
Three Sayings, Three Steps
The clearest map of the Song's movement is also the shortest. One writer sets the bride's own words side by side and lets the order speak:
J. N. DarbyThere is a kind of progress observable. (1) "My beloved is mine" — this is the lowest point. (2) "I am my beloved's" — the consciousness of belonging to Him. (3) "I am my beloved's, and his desire is towards me."
First Stage: He Is Mine
The opening note (2:16) is real love, but it is love still measuring what it has gained. One writer catches its tone:
G. V. WigramIt is like the burst of feeling of a young believer, rejoicing in his newly-acquired relationship to Christ. I love Him, and we understand one another; since I have chosen Him, He is mine, and I am His.
Second Stage: I Am His
By 6:3 the two halves of the sentence have swapped places, and the change is not merely poetic. Putting "I am my beloved's" first turns the heart outward:
Andrew MillerThis is a high note, but easily taken by faith. It is the key note of a soul that has lost sight of self. "I am my beloved's." It is the very opposite of a soul being occupied with itself... In Cant. 2:16, she says, "My beloved is mine and I am his." There, it is the joy of possessing Christ; He is mine. Here it is the deeper joy of belonging to Christ; I am His. Both are blessed, but the latter marks divine progress.
Third Stage: His Desire Is for Me
In 7:10 the bride stops speaking of what she feels and speaks of what He feels. Writers call this the summit of the book — and note that a soul held by law never arrives there:
Andrew MillerThis, we may truly say, is the highest note in the Song of Songs. And yet, we may as truly say, it is the lowest. Now the soul is done with itself, and entirely occupied with Christ... His desire is toward me — He delights in me. Consequently, self is lost sight of. Grace has done its perfect work — the soul is established in grace... So long as a soul is under law, it never reaches this place of confidence, rest, peace, and joy.
The gain at this last step is that the bride is no longer the subject of her own song:
J. A. TrenchBut in Cant. 7:10 we find she has forgotten herself in the far higher thought of His interest in her. She has lost herself in His love... How blessed, beloved, to be able to lose ourselves in the amazing discovery of what we are to Him.
How the Bride Is Moved from Stage to Stage
The progress is not smooth. Between the second and third sayings she grows drowsy, fails to open the door, and finds Him gone. That absence is deliberate:
Hamilton SmithIf, when he drew near, the bride would not respond, he will now withdraw, but only to quicken her affections by his absence... The Beloved was at first the seeker; not finding any response from the bride, his love takes another way which turns the bride into the seeker... Had then the love of the Bridegroom changed? Had he given up his bride? Ah no, it was not the love, but the manner of expressing the love, that had changed. The bride must learn that the communion of love is easily lost but only recovered through humbling experiences.
Another writer draws a practical line from this — one kind of recovery is instant, the other is not:
Edward DennettForgiveness, on confession of sin, is immediate; but the restoration of communion can only be gradual, and a work of time.
The Book's Own Six Movements
Beyond the three sayings, the Song can be read as six songs, each naming a phase of love:
Hamilton SmithCanticle 1. (Cant. 1:2 - 2:7): The assurance of love. Canticle 2. (Cant. 2:8 - 3:5): The awakening of love. Canticle 3. (Cant. 3:6 - 5:1): The communion of love. Canticle 4. (Cant. 5:2 - 6:12): The restoration of love. Canticle 5. (Cant. 6:13 - 8:4): The witness of love. Canticle 6. (Cant. 8:5 - 14): The triumph of love.
Whose Love Story Is It?
Commentators here read the Song as picturing Christ and the faithful remnant of Israel in a coming day, while holding that its lessons still reach the individual heart:
Hamilton SmithBut while such is the strict interpretation of the Song of Songs, this by no means hinders its application to the church — the heavenly bride — or to the individual believer. For in God's dealing with all His people there are principles in common.
Summary
- Mine. Love begins with the joy of possessing Christ — genuine, but self still has the first word.
- His. The order reverses: the deeper joy is belonging to Him, the note of a soul that has lost sight of self.
- His desire. The highest point is not what I feel for Him but that He delights in me — self is forgotten, and the soul rests in grace.
- Discipline. The climb is not smooth; withdrawn communion awakens a sleepy heart, and while forgiveness is immediate, restored communion takes time.
- Reach. Read strictly of Christ and a future faithful remnant of Israel, the Song still applies to every believer, because God deals with all His people on common principles.