What is marriage according to the Bible?
Answered from the commentary of William J. Hocking, F. A. Hughes, Morrish Bible Dictionary and 14 others
Marriage is God's own institution, established in Eden before sin entered. It did not originate in the mind of man but came from God Himself. Because it is not good that the man should be alone, God made the woman out of the man as a help meet for him. The divine word of Genesis 2:24 then fixes its character for every generation: a man leaves father and mother, cleaves to his wife, and the two become one flesh, setting up a new and distinct family unit. The Lord Jesus went back behind the law of Moses to this "beginning" and confirmed it in Matthew 19:3-9 and Mark 10:6-9. It is God who joins the two, and therefore man has no authority to put them asunder.
From this the authors draw two marks of marriage. First, it is the union of one man and one woman, two and only two, so that bigamy and polygamy are "absolutely unscriptural." That order was first broken by Lamech. Second, the bond is indissoluble and lasts for life, dissolved only by death. The one exception the Lord names, fornication, is not really an exception, because that sin is itself the breaking of the bond. Moses allowed divorce, and the Old Testament bore with many wives, only because of the hardness of men's hearts. "From the beginning it was not so," and God says He hates putting away (Malachi 2:16). The same order holds after the fall: sin did not set aside the holy character of marriage, and it applies to every marriage, not only to Christians.
Marriage is meant for companionship and love, for the comfort and joy of man and woman, and for the bringing up of a godly seed. It is the basis of family life and of all human relationships. The Lord sanctioned it by His presence at Cana. Hebrews 13:4 pronounces it honourable, or, as Kelly reads it, charges that it be kept honourable in all things, and warns that God will judge fornicators and adulterers. Forbidding to marry is called a doctrine of demons (1 Timothy 4:1-4).
Above all, Ephesians 5:22-33 shows that marriage was not merely a convenient illustration. It was designed from the outset as a figure of Christ and the church. Hence the husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it, and the wife is to be subject to her husband as the church to Christ. Several authors deny that the "great mystery" makes marriage a sacrament.
Marriage belongs to this present age only. In the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage (Luke 20:34-36). For the same reason, the authors teach from Matthew 19 and 1 Corinthians 7 that remaining single for undivided devotion to the Lord is the better portion. This holds only for those given the gift, and it is never a law, since he who marries does well.
On how a marriage is formed, the authors differ somewhat. Grant and Hocking hold that God Himself joins the couple, and that the ceremony is only a civil requirement the Christian obeys for the Lord's sake. Darby warns that human law must never be made the measure of whether a marriage is valid before God.
Verses: Matthew 19:3, Matthew 19:7, Matthew 19:8, 1 Timothy 4:1, 1 Timothy 4:2, 1 Timothy 4:3, 1 Timothy 4:4, Luke 20:34, Luke 20:35, Luke 20:36, Genesis 2:24, Genesis 2:18, Genesis 2:21, Genesis 2:22, Genesis 2:23, Matthew 19:4, Matthew 19:5, Matthew 19:6, Mark 10:6, Mark 10:7, Mark 10:8, Mark 10:9, Ephesians 5:22, Ephesians 5:23, Ephesians 5:24, Ephesians 5:25, Ephesians 5:26, Ephesians 5:27, Ephesians 5:28, Ephesians 5:29, Ephesians 5:30, Ephesians 5:31, Ephesians 5:32, Ephesians 5:33, Genesis 1:27, Genesis 1:28, Hebrews 13:4, Malachi 2:14, Malachi 2:15, Malachi 2:16, 1 Corinthians 7:2, 1 Corinthians 7:3, 1 Corinthians 7:4, 1 Corinthians 7:5, 1 Corinthians 7:10, 1 Corinthians 7:11, 1 Corinthians 7:39, Proverbs 18:22, Proverbs 5:18, Proverbs 5:19, Proverbs 31:10, Proverbs 31:11, Proverbs 31:12, Ecclesiastes 9:9, Colossians 3:18, Colossians 3:19, 1 Peter 3:1, 1 Peter 3:2, 1 Peter 3:3, 1 Peter 3:4, 1 Peter 3:5, 1 Peter 3:6, 1 Peter 3:7, Matthew 19:9, Romans 7:2, Romans 7:3, 2 Corinthians 6:14, Matthew 22:30, Revelation 19:7, Revelation 19:8, Revelation 19:9, Isaiah 62:5, Hosea 2:19, Hosea 2:20, Exodus 20:14, Proverbs 12:4, Song of Solomon 8:6, Song of Solomon 8:7, Titus 2:4, Titus 2:5, 1 Timothy 3:2, Psalms 128:3, John 2:1, John 2:2, John 2:3, John 2:4, John 2:5, John 2:6, John 2:7, John 2:8, John 2:9, John 2:10, John 2:11, Deuteronomy 24:5
The above is AI generated summary based on the writers below.
What the commentators say
The passages the answer is drawn from, the most direct first, with the words that bear on the question marked.
This is God's institution: He said it was not good that man should be alone, and He provided a suitable help for Adam in the person of Eve. Adam said, "This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman (isha), because she was taken out of Man (ish). Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." Gen. 2:23-24. This declaration of union was confirmed by the Lord, who, in quoting the above, added, "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." Matt. 19:5-6; Mark 10:7-9. It is confirmed also by being taken as a type of the sacred union of the Lord with the church: "We are members of his body, of his flesh and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church." Eph. 5:30-32.
All this shows that God's institution of marriage was the union of one man and one woman, the two and only two, becoming one. What is more than this is not of God, but is of human lust. This order was first broken through by Lamech, the sixth from Adam, who had two wives. Long after this instances are recorded of wives, on account of their great desire for children, giving their maid servants to their husbands: an act that would now be judged as most unnatural in a wife. Sarai gave her Egyptian handmaid to Abram 'to be his wife' (the same word for 'wife' being used for both Sarai and Hagar), and God said He would make of Ishmael a great nation. Jacob's two wives gave their handmaids to their husband, and thus he had four wives. God reckoned the twelve sons of these four women equally as sons of Jacob, and they became the heads of the twelve tribes. It might have been thought that God would not have blessed the issue of these unions, but He did: there is no record of any law having been given on this subject.
Now the same lawgiver who sanctioned divorces had, in a previous part of the Pentateuch, made known the original institution of marriage, in which there was no clause permitting divorce. Both portions (Deut. 24:1; Gen. 2:23-24) were God's Word. The former was a provision "for the hardness of their hearts," and doubtless often made use of without the qualifying ground therein stated, "Because he has found some uncleanness in her" (Deut. 24:1). The latter (Gen. 2:24) taught the sacredness and the real character of the tie. This latter was God's original institution. The tie, except for fornication (Matt. 19:9), should be held inviolable. "What God has joined together let not man put asunder" (Mark 10:9) is the Lord's declaration about matrimony. We are thus taken back to its original institution, and are reminded of the light in which God regards it — two made one flesh, whom He has joined, and whom therefore man should not sever.
Marriage. — Now marriage was God's provision for His creatures, — instituted before the Fall; continued by God after it; upheld as inviolable by Him before the law (Gen. 12:17, 20:3); guarded by express enactments under the law (Ex. 20:14, 17); its sanctity being reaffirmed by the Lord (Matt. 19:3-9); and its honourable estate for all declared by New Testament revelation (Heb. 13:4). Much must Adam have felt that he had lost of temporal enjoyment through the Fall. This blessing, however, was preserved to him, and to his descendants, as God's original institution for the happiness and welfare of His human creatures on earth.
But the Lord makes it transparently clear that the basic, original order in creation is not to be changed, but affirmed by the truth of the kingdom of heaven. God, in creating both male and female, made a marked distinction between them, but in marriage indicated a unity of vital character. Because of God's manifest order in creation it was right that a man should leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife. This verse settles many questions. First, when marriage takes place, the man (or woman) is no longer in the place of subjection to parents. Secondly, he cleaves to his wife:--only one wife, so that bigamy and polygamy are absolutely unscriptural. Cleaving to his wife involves genuine love for her, and faithfulness and devotedness.
The two are then recognized before God as being "one flesh." It is God Himself who has joined the two together. Therefore man has no authority to divorce them. Governments today of course ignore God's decree in this matter, but the word of God will not change to accommodate men's preferences. Marriage was from the beginning intended to be a binding agreement so long as both individuals remain alive.
That which God ordered in the beginning is strictly maintained. God created man, male and female; He united the two to be but one flesh, and this union is indissoluble according to God. Sin may break the bond, but divorce is totally forbidden under any condition but that of the fact by which the bond is thus already broken. It is God who has formed this link; man has no right to break it. Since then a power was come to work in man outside and above nature, which can put him outside natural relationships, it can take and endow him with energy in order to keep him, apart from those relationships, for the service of the kingdom. The relationship of marriage is fully recognised, its holiness, its indissolubility; but God has taken possession of man, so that he might be for Him. In His creation, that is, God has made marriage; but the Holy Ghost, acting in power, appropriates to Himself a man, who, from that time, recognises marriage, and yet does not marry for love of the kingdom of God.
The Spirit of God uses the relationship of husband and wife in Ephesians 5 to illustrate the relationship of Christ to His church. Nay further, it is not that the relationship of husband and wife is a convenient illustration, but it is clear from Ephesians 5 that that marriage relationship was modelled on what God had in His mind, the relationship of Christ and the church. That is to say the relationship of Christ and His church was in the Divine mind in the counsels of eternity, and in time the relationship of husband and wife was instituted. So we find Ephesians 5:30 re-echoing the words of Genesis 2:23, which we just quoted, putting them in an infinitely higher and eternal connection, “For we are members of His [Christ’s] body, of His flesh, and of His bones … This is a great mystery but I speak concerning Christ and the church” (Eph. 5:30, 32).
Marriage is central, therefore, in the web of human life, the basis of all relationships as God has instituted them. And as marriage (not mere sexual union) it has at most its mere shadow in the temporary attachments of the creatures below man. Personal obligation, voluntarily assumed, and expressed in constant fidelity, distinguishes it by the height of a whole heaven from these partial reflections of it.
Marriage possesses the unique feature of being an institution established by God from the very beginning of human history. God's authority is, therefore, behind the prominent place it occupies in man's social life. The first marriage was ordained in the Garden of Eden for the increase of Adam's comfort and the consummation of his bliss.
Again, in verse 39 the New Translation is more correct: "A wife is bound for whatever time her husband lives; but if the husband be fallen asleep, she is free to be married to whom she will, only in the Lord." Romans 7:1,2 rightly gives the legal aspect of this matter; but Corinthians rather speaks of what is morally binding as before God, so that "by the law" is not to be included here. It is clear that only death rightly does away with the marriage bond: any other dissolving of the bond is abnormal, yet it could be allowed to one if the other partner were guilty of virtually breaking the bond by fornication (Mt. 19:9).
His own desire was that all men (believers of course) were as himself, unmarried. Certainly this was impossible of fulfilment, for everyone had his proper gift from God. If God had not himself fitted one for this, it would be a mistake for him to refuse to marry a wife God had brought to him. Paul's viewpoint certainly was a blessed one, but it is not the normal, usual path, and however we might admire it, this is not itself the power to follow it. We can fully agree that it is good to remain unmarried; yet even Paul himself advises that if the natural instinct and desire for marriage were strong within one, it is better to marry. "Forbidding to marry," he assures us elsewhere, is diabolical teaching (I Tim.4:1‑3).
Verses
- Matthew 19:3–93And the Pharisees came to him tempting him, and saying, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? 4But he answering said [to them], Have ye not read that he who made [them], from the beginning made them male and female, 5and said, On account of this a man shall leave father and mother, and shall be united to his wife, and the two shall be one flesh? 6so that they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. 7They say to him, Why then did Moses command to give a letter of divorce and to send [her] away? 8He says to them, Moses, in view of your hardheartedness, allowed you to put away your wives; but from the beginning it was not thus. 9But I say unto you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, not for fornication, and shall marry another, commits adultery; and he who marries one put away commits adultery.
- 1 Timothy 4:1–41But the Spirit speaks expressly, that in latter times some shall apostatise from the faith, giving their mind to deceiving spirits and teachings of demons 2speaking lies in hypocrisy, cauterised as to their own conscience, 3forbidding to marry, [bidding] to abstain from meats, which God has created for receiving with thanksgiving for them who are faithful and know the truth. 4For every creature of God [is] good, and nothing [is] to be rejected, being received with thanksgiving;