For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be united to his wife,
The Pharisees tested Jesus with a question about divorce, and He answered by going back past Moses to Genesis. His answer raises two questions: why does marriage outrank every other tie, and who may undo it?
The Lord asked what Moses commanded; the Pharisees answered with what Moses allowed. That switch gave them away.
The Lord meets the question, "Is it lawful?" by appealing to the law. "What did Moses command you?" In their reply they tried to dodge the Lord's question. They spoke, not of what Moses commanded, but of what Moses allowed. Without realising it, they exposed the hardness of their hearts. They ignored the positive commands of Moses. They spoke only of special rules set up to meet their own hardness. The commands met God's heart for man; the precepts about divorce were to meet their hearts.
The reason for these words lies in how God made humanity at the beginning.
In the question about marriage, Christ teaches us to respect the Creator's ordinance at the beginning without any reserve. According to that ordinance, man and wife are one flesh. This rests on the creative work itself, which made them male and female, one man and one woman. God has joined them together: man must not separate them. Mark does not even mention the exception that allows divorce when someone has in fact broken the marriage tie.
The exception Mark leaves out appears elsewhere. Another writer points to two passages of Moses that both stood as God's word: the divorce rule and the original institution.
The first was a provision "for the hardness of their hearts." No doubt men often used it without the condition stated there: "because he has found some indecency in her" (Deut. 24:1). The second (Gen. 2:24) taught the sacredness and the real character of the tie. This was God's original institution. Except for sexual immorality (Matt. 19:9), the tie should never be broken.
"Leave his father and mother" is startling language. It means the strongest bond a person already has gives way to this new one.
The Lord here stands up as the vindicator, first of all, of the relationship of marriage. He teaches that in the law, important as it was, Moses did not assert the vital place of marriage for the world. On the contrary, Moses permitted certain breaches of it because of Israel's state. … "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother." That is, even the nearest other relationship disappears before this one. … It is the same Jesus who now clears the dust of ruin off God's institutions, even for the earth.
The shift is practical: it changes where a person's first duty lies.
Up to the time of a man's marriage the chief relationship he stands in is that of a son. His responsibility is towards his parents. But when he marries he leaves his father and mother and holds fast to his wife. From then on she becomes his chief care, for he and she are no longer two but one flesh.
The second half of the verse describes the bond itself, and the word carries warmth as well as faithfulness.
He is showing how close the unity of husband and wife is in God's sacred ordinance of marriage. Today the selfish independence of both men and women has badly violated this, but God's word is plain. … He makes it clear for all generations to come that a man should leave his father and mother and cling to his wife. It is just as evident that the woman should leave her parents to become fully devoted to her husband. The word "cling" is beautiful here. It involves the reality of love, of devotedness and of faithfulness.
The verse also decides who a married person answers to.
This verse settles many questions. First, when marriage takes place, the man (or woman) is no longer in the place of subjection to parents. Second, he holds fast to his wife — only one wife, so bigamy and polygamy are completely against Scripture.
Paul later takes this same sentence and says it was always pointing beyond itself.
The Apostle quotes from Genesis, but he states plainly that this is a great mystery, which has in view Christ and the church. Christ, as Man, left all relations with Israel according to the flesh to secure His church.
- Beginning. Jesus answers a legal question by going behind Moses to creation. What God commanded shows His heart for man; what Moses allowed only met the hardness of theirs.
- Leaving. The nearest tie a person already has is to father and mother. From marriage onward, the spouse comes first.
- Holding fast. "Cling" is a word of love, devotedness and faithfulness. It means one wife only, which rules out bigamy and polygamy.
- Joining. God Himself joins the two into one flesh, so no man may separate them. Mark records no exception; Matthew names one.
- Mystery. The pattern reaches its height in Christ. As Man He left all His relations with Israel to gain the church.
and the two shall be one flesh so that they are no longer two but one flesh.
The Pharisees asked Jesus about divorce. Instead of arguing over what Moses allowed, He went back to the day God made the first pair. The verse does simple arithmetic: two become one, and no one can count them back to two.
Jesus points back to how God made the first pair, and to the words that named what their union meant.
He had made them male and female. Each was fitted for the other, and each completed by the other. As to what the union meant, He had said, "the two shall become one flesh." Two, and only two, are in view — as with Adam and his wife at the first, where no one could think of polygamy or divorce. And "one flesh" would make either polygamy or divorce a hateful thing. Man's own voice, before sin clouded his mind, said what the Lord here calls a word from God; for God and man were then at one.
Jesus sets this bond above every other family tie. He shows it by pointing to what a man leaves for it.
God had first established it; and, far from dissolving the tie as men please, He made a single pair, and therefore each was to be only for the other. All other relationships were light compared with this closest tie — a tie that is union itself. It is impossible to overstate the importance of marriage as a natural institution. Who would talk of a child leaving his father and mother for any cause? The Pharisees themselves would not think of such a thing.
From the wedding day on, a man's first duty changes.
Until a man marries, his chief relationship is that of a son, and his responsibility is towards his parents. When he marries, he leaves his father and mother and holds fast to his wife. From then on she becomes his chief care, for he and she are no longer two but one flesh.
The couple do not create this bond themselves.
The two are then recognised before God as being "one flesh." It is God Himself who has joined the two together. Therefore man has no authority to divorce them. Governments today of course ignore God's decree in this matter, but the word of God will not change to suit men's preferences. From the beginning, marriage was meant to be a binding agreement for as long as both people live.
The Pharisees answered Jesus by quoting Moses. But they chose carefully which part of Moses to quote.
They neglected the positive commands of Moses, and speak only of special rules brought in to meet their own hardness. The commands met God's heart for man; the rules about divorce were to meet their hearts.
Mark's account is bare. He leaves the creation order standing on its own.
In the question about marriage, Christ teaches us to give full respect to the Creator's ordinance at the beginning. Mark does not even mention the exceptional allowance of divorce, when the marriage tie has in fact been broken through.
This sentence is not unique to Mark.
I have noticed, and noticed with great joy, that this verse is quoted three times in the Scriptures. It would appear that all the Divine Persons have Their part in speaking of this wonderful institution of marriage. In Genesis God Himself brings this verse forward in the garden of Eden. Here in the tenth of Mark the Lord, in the days of His Manhood, repeated this blessed fact that marriage springs from God. And when Paul writes to the church at Ephesus in the power of the Spirit of God, he quotes this verse too... What a choice thought — that what a couple have put their hand to is not something set up by man. It does not spring from man's inventive mind. It comes fresh in all its beauty and glory from the eternal love of the heart of God.
- Origin. Marriage is not a human invention. The Lord traces it to God, who made them male and female. Its terms are His to set.
- Arithmetic. "One flesh" means two, and only two — wording that rules out both multiple partners and divorce.
- Priority. Leaving father and mother shows the weight of this tie. It outranks every other natural bond, and the wife becomes the husband's chief care.
- Author. Because God joins the two, no human authority — court, custom or law — has the right to separate them.
- Picture. God speaks these words in Eden, the Lord repeats them here, and Paul quotes them again — so every marriage carries the mark of its Maker.
What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.
The Pharisees came to Jesus with a question about divorce. He answered by going back past Moses to the opening pages of Genesis. His answer makes marriage something God Himself does. That raises the question the Pharisees never asked: if God ties the knot, who may cut it?
The Pharisees wanted a ruling on what a husband may do. Jesus answered instead by pointing to what God had done long before any law was written.
The Lord uses the moment to press this truth: what God set up at the beginning of creation was always valid in itself. Moses allowed a man to divorce his wife in the law; but this was only the patience of God with the hardness of man's heart. It was not according to God's own heart and will... God had united husband and wife, and man had no right to separate them. No one may break that bond.
The Lord asked them what Moses commanded. Their reply quietly swapped that word for another, and in doing so gave themselves away.
In their reply they tried to dodge the Lord's question. They spoke not of what Moses commanded, but of what Moses allowed. Without meaning to, they showed the hardness of their hearts. They ignored the clear commands of Moses and spoke only of special rules made to fit their own hardness. The commands matched God's heart for man; the rules about divorce matched theirs.
The verse names an actor: God joined. That single word changes who is entitled to decide anything about the marriage.
Verse 9 lifts marriage from the level of man and human convenience to the level of God and His action. It is a divine institution, not a human arrangement, so men must not tamper with it. If God joins, man must not separate.
This truth about marriage shows up at three points in the Bible. Seeing where else it appears shows how deep it goes.
Turn to Genesis and you will find God Himself bringing this verse forward in the garden of Eden. Here in Mark 10 the Lord, in the days when He lived as a man, repeats this blessed fact: marriage springs from God. And when Paul writes to the church at Ephesus in the power of the Spirit of God, he quotes this verse too... What a precious thought. What a husband and wife have taken up was not set up by man. It did not come from man's inventive mind. It comes fresh, in all its beauty and glory, from the eternal love of the heart of God. Why should man's circumstances, man's failure, hard times, or a sense of being ill-matched interfere with what has sprung from the heart of God?
The joining goes back to creation, not to faith. So this rule reaches far wider than the church.
According to God's will, marriage cannot be dissolved... This not only applies to marriages made "in the Lord," but to every marriage. Already in the Old Testament God had said to the Jews who were divorced from their wives, "For I hate divorce, says the LORD, the God of Israel" (Mal. 2:16).
Commentators note a real difference between the Gospel accounts here. Matthew's record of the same conversation has a clause that Mark leaves out.
Mark does not even mention the one case where divorce is allowed, when the marriage tie has in fact been broken.
Other writers, reading Mark alongside Matthew, state the limit this way:
Except for sexual immorality (Matt. 19:9), the tie should never be broken... This takes us back to how God set marriage up at the start. It reminds us how God sees it — two made one flesh, joined by Him, and so not to be split apart by man.
The verse is not only a rule against breaking up. It also tells a husband how to see the woman he lives with.
Every right-minded man will look upon his wife as the only woman in the world for him, and he will desire no other. That is not because he has chosen her for his wife, but because God has joined them together. He will look on her as the very woman God made for him. He will treat her as God's gift to him. More than that, he will treat her as himself, for the two have become one flesh. And that is no rule made by man, but God's own act and decree.
- God joins. Marriage is not a contract two people invent. It is God's action, so no human choice can undo it.
- Joined at creation. Jesus goes behind Moses to the beginning. The law's permission met hard hearts; it never matched God's heart.
- Joined for all. The rule was never only for believers. It holds for every marriage, everywhere.
- Joined, so not severed. Commentators differ. Mark records no exception, while other writers hold the tie firm except for sexual immorality.
- Joined, therefore cherished. Seeing your spouse as God's own gift, not merely your own choice, is what turns the command into a way of living.