What does the New Testament say about marriage?

Marriage. — Now marriage was God's provision for His creatures, — instituted before the Fall; continued by God after it; upheld as inviolable by Him before the law (Gen. 12:17, 20:3); guarded by express enactments under the law (Ex. 20:14, 17); its sanctity being reaffirmed by the Lord (Matt. 19:3-9); and its honourable estate for all declared by New Testament revelation (Heb. 13:4). Much must Adam have felt that he had lost of temporal enjoyment through the Fall. This blessing, however, was preserved to him, and to his descendants, as God's original institution for the happiness and welfare of His human creatures on earth.

According to God's will marriage is indissoluble. The Lord Jesus says this clearly in Matthew 19:6: "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." This not only applies to marriages made "in the Lord," but to every marriage. Already in the Old Testament God had said to the Jews who were divorced from their wives, "For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that He hateth putting away" (Mal. 2:16).

1 Corinthians 7:32-34 teaches that the unmarried are the most free from care, but verse 7 as distinctly teaches that “every man has his own proper gift of God.” Each one must know for himself what his proper gift is. It is one thing to say, “Follow Paul's example and quite another thing to have the “proper gift” to do it. It is a fatal mistake for anyone to expect to walk in a path for which God has not given him a call or given him the spiritual power. Remember in these days of ritualism and revived monasticism, that marriage is a holy and honorable institution, established by God in the Garden of Eden and sanctioned by His presence in Cana of Galilee. It is pronounced to be honorable in all by His Spirit in Hebrews 13:4. Thus much as to the general principle, but the moment you come to individual cases, each one must be guided of God. To Him we affectionately commend you.

We cannot understand why you should have occasion to seek a human opinion on a point where Hebrews 13:4 and 1 Timothy 4:1-4 are so clear. Oh! when will people learn to open their Bible and bow down to its holy authority in all things? We have an abhorrence of that mock spirituality, sanctimoniousness and transcendentalism so apparent in the remarks to which you call our attention. To us it seems to be simply holiness in the flesh, which we know is one of Satan's crafty wiles. As we said, marriage was instituted by the Lord God in the Garden of Eden. It was sanctioned by the presence of Christ in Cana of Galilee. It is pronounced honorable by the Holy Spirit in Hebrews 13. To forbid it is said to be a doctrine of demons in 1 Timothy 4. This is quite sufficient for us, let pious sentimentalists and hyper-spiritualists say what they will.

(Vv. 1, 2). Having exhorted the saints to maintain holiness in the assembly (1 Cor. 5) and individual holiness (1 Cor. 6), the Apostle now instructs us to maintain holiness in the natural relationships of life. Christianity by no means sets aside the order of nature, though it will correct the abuses by which fallen man may have corrupted these relationships. Every man is at liberty to have his own wife, and every woman her own husband, and indeed this is a legitimate way to avoid the temptation to unholiness. The spurious pretension to higher spirituality by insisting upon asceticism is thus entirely condemned.

(Vv. 3-5). The Apostle gives his advice to those in the married state. The relationship is to be taken up with due consideration for each other as being mutually dependent upon each other.

Matthew 19 carries on the subject of the spirit that is suited to the kingdom of heaven, and goes deep into the principles which govern human nature, and of what was now divinely introduced. A question asked by the Pharisees — for the Lord had drawn nigh to Judea — gives rise to the exposition of His doctrine on marriage; and turning away from the law, given on account of the hardness of their hearts, He goes back to God's institution, according to which one man and one woman were to unite together, and to be one in the sight of God. He establishes, or rather re-establishes, the true character of the indissoluble bond of marriage. I call it indissoluble, for the exception of the case of unfaithfulness, is not one; the guilty person had already broken the bond. It was no longer man and woman one flesh. At the same time, if God gave spiritual power for it, it was still better to remain unmarried.

The Spirit of God uses the relationship of husband and wife in Ephesians 5 to illustrate the relationship of Christ to His church. Nay further, it is not that the relationship of husband and wife is a convenient illustration, but it is clear from Ephesians 5 that that marriage relationship was modelled on what God had in His mind, the relationship of Christ and the church. That is to say the relationship of Christ and His church was in the Divine mind in the counsels of eternity, and in time the relationship of husband and wife was instituted. So we find Ephesians 5:30 re-echoing the words of Genesis 2:23, which we just quoted, putting them in an infinitely higher and eternal connection, “For we are members of His [Christ’s] body, of His flesh, and of His bones … This is a great mystery but I speak concerning Christ and the church” (Eph. 5:30, 32).

It is evident from the first verse that the Corinthians had inquired of the Apostle about marriage and the relationship of man and woman. It was an important question in a city of the character of Corinth, so full of immorality. This chapter answers their question and gives instructions concerning the unmarried and those who are joined together in marriage. "It is good for man not to touch a woman" has been used as sanctioning celibacy and discrediting the marriage union. Such is not the case. The unmarried state has for the Christian, who is fully devoted to the Lord, certain spiritual advantages. "He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord" (Verse 32). Compare this also with the words of our Lord in Matthew 19:4-12. The Apostle Paul was unmarried (verse 8) and denied himself the lawful privilege of having a wife (9:5) to be free in all things to serve the Lord. But there were great dangers, especially in heathen Corinth, where fornication was religiously sanctioned. Therefore the Apostle enjoins them that every man should have his own wife and every woman have her own husband. And in this relationship, fully approved by the Lord both must be true to its natural claims. As to the body, the husband belongs to the wife and the wife to the husband. They are not to defraud each other. However, by mutual consent they may be apart for a season to give themselves unto prayer. And this he wrote not as a command, but as a permission. "The Apostle gives his thoughts and judgment as a spiritual man, his mind animated and guided by the Spirit, and contrasts it with inspiration and what the Lord said."

Then the question of separation and divorce is taken up. The indissolubleness of the marriage tie had been declared by the Lord and is here confirmed. "What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder." "And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery; and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery." (Matthew 19:6, 9). And so the Apostle writes that which is a command not coming from himself but from the Lord, that if a separation takes place between husband and wife, she is to remain unmarried, or be reconciled. The husband is not to put away his wife. How little heed is paid to all this among professing Christians in our days. The increase of unscriptural divorces is appalling.

Next the case of mixed marriages is considered. Most likely many such cases were in existence in Corinth. "According to the law a man who had married a woman of the Gentiles (and was consequently profane or unclean) defiled himself, and was compelled to send her away; and their children had no right to Jewish privileges; they were rejected as unclean. (See Ezra 10:3). But under grace it was quite the contrary. The converted husband sanctified the wife, and vice versa, and their children were reckoned clean before God; they had part in the ecclesiastical rights of their parent. This is the sense of the word 'holy,' in connection with the question of order and of outward relationship towards God, which was suggested by the obligation under the law to send away wife and children in a similar case. Thus the believer was not to send away his wife, nor to forsake an unbelieving husband. If the unbeliever forsook the believer definitively, the latter (man or woman) was free 'let him depart.' The brother was no longer bound to consider the one who had forsaken him as his wife, nor the sister the man who had forsaken her as her husband. But they were called to peace, and not to seek this separation; for how did the believer know if he should not be the means of the unbeliever's conversion? For we are under grace." (Synopsis of the Bible J.N.D.)

The Lord has spoken this to Pharisees, but inside the house His disciples questioned Him further, to whom He answers that a man putting away his wife and marrying another has committed adultery against his first wife. A wife doing the same would be guilty of adultery against her husband. The Lord does not here mention the exception noted in Matthew 19:9, "except for fornication," because it is, practically' speaking, not even an exception.

Fornication would virtually itself be a breaking of the marriage bond, which is only confirmed by a divorce in this case. The partner who was not guilty would not therefore be committing adultery in marrying another after divorce, though generally there may have been fault on both sides, and before another marriage, one should be broken before God, seeking only His will. 1Corinthians 7:15 shows also that desertion is considered a breaking of the marriage bond, so that the one who was deserted would be left no longer under that bond.

The simplicity of the instruction here is remarkable. There is no long list of details as to how a husband and wife should act toward one another. If the wife simply maintains a quiet spirit of subjection as to the Lord, this will result in proper conduct in the entire relationship. The husband's genuine love for his wife will form his conduct toward her in a proper way. But we must understand what love really is, for too frequently what passes for love is merely a cheap imitation of it.

Husbands are to love their own wives with no less a standard than that of Christ's love for the Church (v.25). He gave Himself for it; not merely did He give many gifts, but Himself. If one is not willing to give himself for an intended wife, he ought not to marry her. Observe that all this section emphasizes that love seeks diligently the greatest good of its object, and at personal expense.

His answer is most simple, but He presses on them first the error of their own thoughts, due to their ignorance of the word of God and of the power of God. They were limiting God to the confines of their own narrow conceptions, as though in resurrection God must return man to conditions identical with such as prevail at present. Among other Old Testament scriptures, Isaiah 64:4 would have at least reproved their narrow thoughts. He tells them that in the resurrection marriage has no Place. Just as among the angels there is no question of difference in sex, so it will be in resurrection life. For resurrection introduces a totally new condition of things.