But I wish you to be without care. The unmarried cares for the things of the Lord, how he shall please the Lord;
Paul is dealing with marriage in this chapter, and here he gives the reason behind his advice: he wants them free from anxious care. Two questions follow. Is Paul putting marriage down? Is the single life a higher calling?
Paul's first aim is not the single life. It is a mind free from worry. One writer points out that Paul describes what usually happens, not what has to happen:
There was another matter to be considered as well. The great and important thing in his eyes was that people should live free from care. He wanted them free from that weight of anxiety which would disturb their walk with God. In fact, he is not speaking of what should be, or of what has to be, but of what is so often found. The unmarried person would naturally be concerned for the things of the Lord, and for pleasing Him. He has no one else to please.
Another writer pictures the single believer as a runner carrying less weight. Paul urges this freedom, yet he ties no one down:
Here the apostle presses the greater freedom from everyday anxiety which the single man or woman enjoys, compared with the married. It is freedom for serving and pleasing the Lord. There is less weight in the race and less distraction from the goal. Yet even here the apostle speaks with caution and delicacy. He would not tie anyone down. He sought their good, with an eye to what is fitting and to undistracted waiting on the Lord.
Paul goes on to say that the married man is anxious about worldly things. One commentator denies that this is a rebuke, and reads it as part of a husband's proper place:
The apostle speaks here in a positive way, because he is measuring Christian character, not as it too often shows itself, but at its true worth as the proper effect of faith. The unmarried saint is joined to his Redeemer, and seeks to please Him by caring for His things... He does not quite mean it as a reproach when he adds, "The married man cares for the world." Within proper limits, this is right for his position. He is no longer free, as before; nor may he deny his wife, even for Christ's sake, as he might deny himself. To love his wife, and honour her, are now among the settled duties of his place. In carrying them out, he may find himself both lower and less happy, spiritually, than when he lived only for the Lord.
Another writer sets this verse beside verse 7 of the same chapter, and warns against copying Paul's path without Paul's gift:
1 Corinthians 7:32-34 teaches that the unmarried are the most free from care. But verse 7 teaches just as clearly that "every man has his own proper gift of God." Each one must know for himself what his own gift is... It is a fatal mistake to expect to walk in a path for which God has not given you a call, or the spiritual power... Marriage is a holy and honourable institution. God established it in the Garden of Eden, and He gave it His approval by His presence at Cana of Galilee.
Being single is an opportunity, not a guarantee. One writer reminds us that God has often used married believers more:
Of course it does not follow that this is always the case. A believer may be unmarried for other reasons, and may not be making the Lord the supreme object of his life... Of course we know that, despite this, God has used and blessed many married men far more than many others who have stayed unmarried.
Freedom from care goes deeper than being single or married. One writer traces it to reckoning yourself dead to the claims of nature:
The apostle only wanted them free from anxiety and distraction, so that they might serve the Lord. If reckoning themselves dead to nature did not produce this effect, they gained nothing; they lost by it... If they subdued and silenced the will of nature, they served the Lord without distraction. They lived according to the Spirit and not according to nature, even in the things God had appointed as good for nature.
- Care — the whole passage aims at anxiety, the weight that disturbs a believer's walk with God. Marriage comes up only as it adds to that weight.
- Freedom — the unmarried person carries less weight in the race. He has no one else to please, so less pulls him from the goal.
- Fairness — the married man's care for his wife is not a rebuke. Loving and honouring her are settled duties of his place. He is no longer as free as before.
- Gift — Paul offers his own path; he does not command it. Each person must know his own gift from God. Walking a path God has not given is a fatal mistake.
- Result — Paul seeks undistracted service. That comes from a will subdued and silenced, not from being married or single.
but he that has married cares for the things of the world, how he shall please his wife.
Paul weighs two ways of living for one Lord: the single believer has one person to please, while the married believer must please a wife as well. The verse does not scold the husband; it names what his position costs him.
The contrast serves one goal, named in the verse just before: freedom from anxious care. One writer puts the comparison in the language of a race.
Here the apostle points out how much freer the single man or woman is from earthly anxiety than the married, and so freer to serve and please the Lord. There is less weight in the race and less distraction from the goal. Yet even here the apostle speaks with care and gentleness. He would not trap anyone. He sought their good, aiming at what is fitting and at undistracted waiting on the Lord.
Being "anxious about worldly things" sounds like a charge. In its place, it names duties a husband is not free to drop.
He is not really making a reproach when he adds that the married man "is anxious about worldly things." Within proper limits this is right for his position. He is no longer free, as he was before. He may not deny his wife, even for Christ's sake, as he might deny himself. Loving his wife and honouring her are now among the settled duties of his place. In doing them, he may find himself both lower and less happy in spirit than when he lived only for the Lord.
Paul is not stating a rule for every marriage. He names the temptation that comes with a second person to please.
In fact, he is not speaking of what should be, or what has to be, but of what is so often found. The unmarried man would naturally care for the things of the Lord, to please Him. He has no one else to please. A married man clearly has another person to please. So he is at least tempted to care for the things of the world, to please his wife.
A wife shapes much of where her husband's care goes. Writing to a woman about to marry a man engaged in the Lord's work, one writer warns her plainly.
You are in a serious position. A wife always has great influence on a Christian husband. As the apostle teaches us, he is in danger of caring for the things of the world to please her. That danger is greater still when the husband is a worker for the Lord and has been blessed in that work… Do not try to weaken his energy. A wife sometimes likes to have her husband for herself. When her husband is the Lord's worker, that is a great evil… A husband must care for his wife, consider her, and do anything but neglect her. It is truly evil and sad when he neglects her.
The verse gives the single believer an advantage, but not a monopoly on usefulness.
A believer may be unmarried for other reasons, and may not really be making the Lord the supreme object of his life. But he does not have the care of a wife to take up his time and attention, so he should have more time for the Lord… Of course we know that, despite this, God has used and blessed many married men far more than many others who stayed unmarried.
Some turn this passage into a law, because Paul's own example is attractive. Verse 7 of the same chapter blocks that.
1 Corinthians 7:32-34 teaches that the unmarried are the most free from care. But verse 7 teaches just as plainly that "each has his own gift from God." Each one must know for himself what his own gift is… It is a fatal mistake for anyone to expect to walk a path for which God has not given him a call or the spiritual power. In these days of ritual and revived monastic life, remember that marriage is holy and honourable. God established it in the Garden of Eden, and He approved it by His presence at Cana in Galilee.
- Aim — Paul aims at undistracted service. The single believer runs with less weight and less distraction from the goal.
- Duty — A married man's care for worldly things belongs to his position, not to his sin. Loving and honouring his wife are now settled duties.
- Temptation — Paul describes what is often found, not what must be. A second person to please can pull the heart toward the things of the world.
- Influence — A wife who wants her husband for herself can weaken the energy of the Lord's worker. Even so, her husband must never neglect her.
- Freedom — This is counsel, not a vow. Each has his own gift from God, marriage is honourable, and God has used many married men more than many single ones.
There is a difference between the wife and the virgin. The unmarried cares for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but she that has married cares for the things of the world, how she shall please her husband.
Paul has just said that a married man's concerns are split. Here he draws the same line for women — and raises the question of whether the single life is a higher grade of Christian.
The point of the whole passage is not the marriage bond itself but the weight it adds to a life already running a race.
Here the apostle presses one point. The single man or woman is freer from earthly anxiety than the married, and so freer to serve and please the Lord. There is less weight in the race and less distraction from the goal.
The term Paul uses is not limited to women. The value of staying single depends on what it is for.
It seems clear that in this passage the word "virgin" covers the unmarried of either sex. Here is the Apostle's teaching in short. Marriage is good, as is every institution God has set up. It is wholly right and allowed. Yet staying unmarried is better, if it is kept up so that the person is more fully at the Lord's disposal for His interests. If such people do not "attend upon the Lord without distraction," their celibacy may only cast a snare on them.
The wife's attention to worldly things is her duty, not a lapse. One writer names two sisters from the Gospels — Martha, who served, and Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet.
The wife is holy too, but her calling makes her more a "Martha" than a "Mary." She cares for her husband and obeys him. Pleasing him is her proper aim, so she also cares for the things of the world. To think now of the things of Christ, in the spirit of her unmarried liberty, would be to fail in her duties as a wife. For she is no longer her own.
Because of that, the choice deserves weighing before it is made:
Let her weigh this well when she is sought in marriage, and not lightly surrender the place she already holds in God's household.
Paul is not describing an achievement anyone can copy by decision. Earlier in the same chapter he says, "each has his own gift from God" (verse 7; the writer below uses an older wording).
1 Corinthians 7:32-34 teaches that the unmarried are the most free from care. But verse 7 teaches just as plainly that "every man has his own proper gift of God." Each one must know for himself what his proper gift is. It is one thing to say, "Follow Paul's example," and quite another to have the "proper gift" to do it. It is a fatal mistake for anyone to expect to walk in a path for which God has not given him a call or the spiritual power.
The advantage is real, but it rests on an inward condition God gives:
The unmarried state has its advantages where grace gives the right inward condition… But God does not give this to everyone. It is not of man's will but of divine grace. Make it a law, and you destroy the grace.
The verse states a tendency rather than a fixed law of the spiritual life.
In fact, he is not speaking of what should be or what needs to be, but of what is so often found. The unmarried person would naturally care for the things of the Lord, to please Him. He has no one else to please… He does not want to lay down rules, since keeping them might only be a snare to them. He wants them to seek to serve the Lord without distraction, whatever their course may be.
The remedy for a divided heart is not escape from marriage but a quieted will.
When married, they were occupied with things below, to please their wives and provide for their children. But they enjoyed a rest of mind. In it nature did not claim her rights with a will they had failed to silence, and they kept holiness of walk and of heart. If they brought the will of nature under and silenced it, they served the Lord without distraction.
- Divided — Marriage is good, but it divides. The married have a second person to please, and that adds weight to the race.
- Devoted — Staying single is better only when it is kept for the Lord's interests. Otherwise it becomes a snare instead of a gain.
- Given — The single life is a gift from God, not a target to aim at. Make it a law, and you destroy the grace in it.
- Honoured — The wife's care for her husband is her calling, not her failure. She is no longer her own, and pleasing him is her proper aim.
- Undistracted — The goal in every case, married or not, is to serve the Lord without distraction. That comes when the will of nature is silenced, not when circumstances change.