What does it mean that it is better to marry than to burn in 1 Corinthians 7:9?

"But this I say by way of permission, not by way of command. Now I wish all men to be even as myself; but each has his own gift of God, one this way, and another that. But I say to the unmarried and to widows: It is good for them that they remain even as I. But if they have not self-control, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to burn." (Vers. 6-9.) Thus did the Holy Spirit lead the large-hearted apostle to write, in what he had laid down, declaring that it was not as a commandment, but a permission. His own wish for others was that all should be even as himself. But he does not overlook that each has as God gives him. Hence to the unmarried and to widows he says, it is good for them to remain even as he; yet even then not absolutely, but only in case they can without fear of sinning in this respect.

1 Corinthians 7. The apostle proceeds by answering a question in connection with the subject he had been treating — the will of God with regard to the relationship between man and woman. They do well who remain outside this relationship in order to walk with the Lord according to the Spirit, and not to yield in anything to their nature. God had instituted marriage — woe to him who should speak ill of it! but sin has come in, and all that is of nature, of the creature, is marred. God has introduced a power altogether above and outside nature — that of the Spirit. To walk according to that power is the best thing; it is to walk outside the sphere in which sin acts. But it is rare; and positive sins are for the most part the effect of standing apart from that which God has ordained according to nature. In general then for this reason, every man should have his own wife: and the union once formed, he had no longer power over himself. As to the body, the husband belonged to his wife, the wife to her husband. If, by mutual consent, they separated for awhile that they might give themselves to prayer and to spiritual exercises, the bond was to be immediately acknowledged again, lest the heart, not governing itself, should give Satan occasion to come in and distress the soul, and destroy its confidence in God and in His love — lest he should tempt by distressing doubts (it is for, not by incontinency) a heart that aimed at too much, and failed in it.

This permission, however, and this direction which recommended Christians to marry, was not a commandment from the Lord, given by inspiration, but the fruit of the apostle's experience — an experience to which the presence of the Holy Ghost was not wanting. He would rather that every one were like himself; but every one had, in this respect, his gift from God. To the unmarried and the widows, it is good, he says, to abide as he himself was; but if they could not subdue their nature and remain in calm purity, it was better to marry. Unsubduedness of desire was more hurtful than the bond of marriage. But as to marriage itself, there was no longer room for the counsel of experience, the commandment of the Lord was positive. The woman was not to separate from the man, nor the man from the woman; and if they separated, the bond was not broken; they must remain unmarried or else be reconciled.

His own desire was that all men (believers of course) were as himself, unmarried. Certainly this was impossible of fulfilment, for everyone had his proper gift from God. If God had not himself fitted one for this, it would be a mistake for him to refuse to marry a wife God had brought to him. Paul's viewpoint certainly was a blessed one, but it is not the normal, usual path, and however we might admire it, this is not itself the power to follow it. We can fully agree that it is good to remain unmarried; yet even Paul himself advises that if the natural instinct and desire for marriage were strong within one, it is better to marry. "Forbidding to marry," he assures us elsewhere, is diabolical teaching (I Tim.4:1‑3).

It may seem strange that the apostle, after affirming that it is good for a man not to touch a woman, yet fully approves every man and woman having a spouse. His first statement in verse 1 could not have been written when creation began, for it would have been bad for Adam to have refused the wife God gave to him. But in Christ now raised from the dead, God has introduced the new creation, and Paul himself is an example of the fact that the power of Christ, now known and enjoyed, is such as to be able to lift one above the perfectly normal and legitimate needs of the first creation. In no way are these things themselves sinful, though they have often been corrupted by man's sin. So that, while it is good for one to remain unmarried, in view of thorough devotedness to the Lord; yet if this would in any way involve the danger of fornication, it was much better to marry.

Verse 3 and 5 would insist that, when married, both wife and husband are responsible to show full consideration of each other according to the proper character of the marriage bond. They are one flesh, and neither the husband alone, nor the wife alone, has power in reference to his own or her own body, to bear fruit. They are united, and must not ignore this sacred relationship. By consent they could be apart for a time, to give themselves to fasting and prayer, and no doubt this could be greatly used of God in blessing; but it was generally not to be too long protracted, for Satan is ever ready to take advantage of such things. Proper consideration of each other is the important matter, and no defrauding of one another of his or her proper rights in the marriage relationship.

It may seem strange that the apostle, after affirming that it is good for a man not to touch a woman, yet fully approves every man and woman having a spouse. His first statement in verse I could not have been written when creation began, for it would have been bad for Adam to have refused the wife God gave to him. But in Christ now raised from the dead, God has introduced the new creation, and Paul himself is an example of the fact that the power of Christ, now known and enjoyed, is such as to be able to lift one above the perfectly normal and legitimate needs of the first creation. In no way are these things themselves sinful, though they have often been corrupted by man's sin. So that, while it is good for one to remain unmarried, in view of thorough devotedness to the Lord; yet if this would in any way involve the danger of fornication, it was much better to marry.

But while there is a simple severity of truth which faith acknowledges, and to the practical attainment of which it both may and is encouraged to aspire, the provisions of divine grace are designed to meet the infirmity of the flesh, as well as to satisfy the desires of the Spirit. He who has called us to the fellowship of His Son, yet considers our frame, and remembers that we still are dust;6 and while refusing any countenance to sin, provides honourably for the need of those who, with a clear perception of their standing, and a full acceptance of the apostle's dictum as a maxim of true spiritual wisdom, find celibacy a burden both difficult and dangerous to bear. Accordingly the express sanction of Christian marriage, declared in the following verse, is administered as a corrective of a known and still existing evil in the Church.

Verse 2. "Nevertheless, because of the fornications,"7 etc. That sin might cease among God's children, let saints still walk as men, in that at least which God had sanctioned before sin began. Christian marriage is a thing allowed, and therefore blameless and honourable, rather than intrinsically good. It is placed, therefore, by the apostle on a relatively low ground. As an aid to spiritual progress it is valueless in itself; and, as he afterwards shows, more likely to hinder than to further godly service, when contracted upon simply natural grounds. For it is in its nature foreign to the heavenly calling of the saint. Its proper tendency is to settle men on earth, and engage their thoughts and energies in matters of this life. Hence, what was injunctive to the Israelite is permissive only to the Christian. He is interested in espousals of another kind.8 Yet marriage is honourable in all,9 and though granted as a concession to our natural frailty, has reflected on it by the Spirit the light and beauty of the finished truth above.1 In a word, no Christian is advised to marry whose life of celibacy is not found to be a burden and a snare.

Verse 7. "For I would that all men were even as I myself," etc. It was from no natural distaste for married life that this wish proceeded. His own words in a later chapter7 concur with the impression which a careful study of his character would be likely to leave on most minds. Domestic joys would have been heartily appreciated by a man of his temperament and susceptibilities. But great grace was upon him. His miraculous conversion was also his especial consecration to the work of God. His liberty was left him, but he loved his bonds. And as one who knew by experience both the joys and the afflictions which belong to the "better part "of undivided service to the Lord, he would that his brethren might be as himself in the completeness of their freedom from all earthly ties. But never shall we find an inspired apostle, or any other truly spiritual man, attempting to make himself a final standard of conformity to others. Paul gloried in his own practice, and felt so conscious of like-mindedness to Christ, as to be able to indulge without reserve his wish that others might emulate his ways. But he remembers God. His own wishes are not God's appointment. And in the acknowledgment that "every one has his proper gift of God," he both limits his own holy desire, and records by anticipation his protest against the folly and enormous wickedness of those who, under a lying pretext of elevating and purifying the ministerial calling, should afterwards enforce by human authority an official celibacy, in utter disregard of the sovereign distribution of that gift.8 How different the language of true wisdom and purity of mind which follows.

Verses 8, 9. "I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry," etc. Giving still its due precedence to a single life, he acknowledges in all a common and sacred right of choice, while on some he enjoins, as an escape from spiritual danger, a course which, for its own sake merely, he would rather have them shun; for fretting desire is a hurtful soul disease. Godliness, with contentment, is great gain; without it godliness itself becomes endangered. A man must be his own judge in this matter. Marriage is honourable if he choose it; but his choice will bring its consequences. Can he live single with an unrepining heart? By all means let him do so; for the present calling of God is not to vineyards and oliveyards, or temporal happiness or opulence of any kind, but to suffer for awhile with Christ, and then to reign with Him. The fewer natural claims a Christian has upon his time and energies, the freer will he be to follow with a single eye the Master whom he is allowed to serve.9 But let him know his proper gift, and aim no higher than God gives him strength to reach.

(Vv. 6-9). In having said, “Let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband”, he is careful to explain that he is not giving a command, but he speaks as consenting to the married state. His own wish is that all should be as he himself, free from these relationships. But he recognises that it is not given of God for all to remain unmarried, and where not given it is “better to marry”.

His own desire was that all men (believers of course) were as himself, unmarried. Certainly this was impossible of fulfillment, for everyone had his proper gift from God. If God had not himself fitted one for this, it would be a mistake for him to refuse to marry a wife God had brought to him. Paul's viewpoint certainly was a blessed one, but it is not the

normal, usual path, and however we might admire it, this is not itself the power to follow it. We can fully agree that it is good to remain unmarried; yet even Paul himself advises that if the natural instinct and desire for marriage were strong within one, it is better to marry. "Forbidding to marry," he assures us elsewhere, is diabolical teaching (I Tim. 4:1-3).

But concerning the things of which ye wrote [to me], [it is] good for a man not to touch a woman, 2 but on account of fornications let each have his own wife, and each have her own husband. 3 To the wife let the husband render her due, and likewise also the wife to the husband. 4 The wife has not authority over her own body, but the husband; and likewise also the husband has not authority over his own body, but the wife. 5 Defraud not one another, unless by consent for a time, that ye may have leisure for prayer and again be together, that Satan tempt you not because of your incontinency. 6 But this I say by way of permission, not by way of command. 7 Now I desire all men to be even as myself; but each has his own gift of God, one this way, and another that.

8 But I say to the unmarried and to widows: It is good for them that they remain even as I. 9 But if they have not continency let them marry, for it is better to marry than to burn. 10 But to the married not I enjoin but the Lord, that wife be not separated from husband 11 (but if also she be separated, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband), and that husband leave [or, put away] not wife. 12 But to the rest I say, not the Lord, if any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she consent to dwell with him, let him not leave [or, put away] her; 13 and a woman which has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to dwell with her, let her not leave [or, put away] him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified in the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified in the brother; since then your children are unclean, but now are they holy. 15 But if the unbelieving separates himself, let him be separated. The brother or the sister is not in bondage in such [circumstances]: but God has called us in peace. 16 For what knowest thou, O wife, if thou shalt save thy husband? or what knowest thou, O husband, if thou shalt save thy wife?