What does the Bible say about empathy?

Romans 12:15. "Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep." We have been exhorted to the exercise of love, the discharge of the duties of benevolence, the forgiveness of enemies and now we are admonished to sympathise in the joys and sorrows of our fellow-men, but, especially of our fellow-Christians. These are the comely ways of the household of faith. Being rooted and grounded in love, these graces naturally flow forth as from their native fountain. What could possibly be more unlike the spirit of Christianity than a selfish indifference to all interests but our own! How much more like the blessed Master is the Christian who enters into the joys and sorrows of others as if they were his own! This is the true expression of the communion of saints — the unselfishness of those who are walking in the light of God's own presence — the only place where we lose our selfishness. "If we walk in the light as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another." Outside of His presence we are selfish; in His presence we feel and act in the divine nature.

Both συμπαθέω and μετριοπαθέω are translated 'have compassion,' but there is a marked difference between the words. μετριοπαθέω (from μετριοπαθής, 'moderate in passions') occurs but once in the N.T., Heb. 5:2, referring to the Levitical priest, who "exercised forbearance" (the true meaning of the word: 'reasonably bear with' margin) on the ignorant and the erring, being himself clothed with infirmity. Hence if 'compassion' is admissible, it is as on the ignorant and erring.

συμπαθέω (from σύν, 'with,' and πάσχω, 'to suffer') is to have sympathy with others who are suffering. The blessed Lord, having been tempted in all points apart from sin, can sympathise, not with sin, but with the infirmities of the saints (have 'a fellow-feeling,' as Bengel expresses it), Heb. 4:15. Paul was able to say that the believing Hebrews sympathised with him in his bonds, Heb. 10:34; and all are exhorted to be sympathising ('have compassion' A.V., συμπαθής), full of brotherly love, etc. 1 Peter 3:8. The thought of compassion, not sympathy, can be connected with God: Christ can sympathise because, having become man, He has passed through trials: He has a fellow-feeling.

"Courteous" is scarcely the right rendering of the original in this scripture. "Friendly" would be much more exact, as the conduct enjoined should flow from affection. The reading, however, which is generally accepted gives another word altogether, and is translated "humble-minded." And this word is instinctively felt to be more in harmony with the spirit of the whole passage, every feature of which presents Christ Himself to us. Another change might be profitably made. The phrase "having compassion one of another" is really a paraphrase upon one word, and the exact meaning of this is "sympathising." It is not a little remarkable that sympathy is only found three times in the Scriptures: first, it is used of our Great High Priest, who is not One who cannot "sympathise with our infirmities"; secondly, in the same epistle the apostle says that the Hebrew saints had "sympathised with prisoners" (Hebrews 10:34, New Translation); and lastly, in our scripture from Peter. We may return to the significance of this on another occasion. Finally, the term "pitiful" in Peter is far better given as "tender-hearted." Now look for one moment at the force of this beautiful passage, and as we do so let us remember that it flows from the blessed example of Christ which the apostle has commended to us in chapter 2, that we should follow His steps. First, then, we are to be "all of one mind," for the Spirit of God could not possibly lead to diverse judgments (compare 1 Cor. 1:10); then "sympathising," feeling with one another in their sorrows and afflictions; "love as brethren," holy love being the circle in which we live, and move, and have our being, so that we may express it one to another; "tender-hearted," not harsh and censorious; and, lastly, "humble-minded," breathing the spirit of Him who was meek and lowly in heart. The reader can travel through the next verse for himself; and we are well assured that if anyone possess the characteristics of verse 8 he will speedily answer to the directions of verse 9. One reflection may be permitted. What a testimony to our blessed Lord would be rendered in this dark world if His people were, even in a small measure, marked by these traits of His own life in their mutual relationships! He Himself said, "By this shall all men know that ye are My disciples, if ye have love one to another."

If we seek to sympathize with the suffering it is needful that we should take their sorrows to our selves. Merely to speak a word of condolence to others is not genuine sympathy. We must appropriate the trials of others and carry them upon the spirit. For such a service we need to have the Spirit of the Master within us, learning first His comfort for ourselves as displayed here, and then ministering the same to others.

In verse 15 the emphasis lies upon the grace of the Priest. He is touched with the feeling of our infirmities. The three italicized words should be carefully noted. Infirmities, not sins; for His temptations here were wholly apart from sin. While infirmity merits sympathy, sin merits nothing but condemnation. Further, He is concerned with the feeling of our infirmities, not with the knowledge merely. When trouble assails us and sympathy is offered by our fellow-Christians, we quickly know the difference between that which flows from knowledge merely and that which springs from the feeling begotten by having been already in similar circumstances. Apart from sin, He has been “in all points tempted like as we are.” And then with the feeling of our infirmities He is touched. He regards us not with the cold interest of the philosopher, but with the warm affection of the Lover of our souls. The warm tide of the sympathy of our great High Priest is ever flowing. Could anything be sweeter than this?

He has, in all things, been tempted like ourselves, sin apart; so that He can sympathise with our infirmities. The word brings to light the intents of the heart, judges the will, and all that has not God for its object and its source. Then, as far as weakness is concerned, we have His sympathy. Christ of course had no evil desires: He was tempted in every way, apart from sin. Sin had no part in it at all. But I do not wish for sympathy with the sin that is in me; I detest it, I wish it to be mortified — judged unsparingly. This the word does. For my weakness and my difficulties I seek sympathy; and I find it in the priesthood of Jesus. It is not necessary, in order to sympathise with me, that a person should feel at the same moment that which I am feeling — rather the contrary. If I am suffering pain, I am not in a condition to think as much of another's pain. But in order to sympathise with him I must have a nature capable of appreciating his pain.

Temptation means trial; never in Christ's case, what is in fallen man's inward solicitation to evil. This is what the Holy Spirit expressly denies of Him, and what no one who believed in His person ought to have allowed for a moment. Lustful experience or sin is incompatible with the Holy One of God; and, so far from being in a single instance predicated of Him, it is wholly excluded: χωρὶς ἁμαρτίας could be said of neither Enoch nor Elijah, nor of John and Paul, but of Him only. The blessed endurance of temptation (James 1:2, 12) He knew beyond any; but what James describes in verses 13-15 of his first chapter was foreign to Him, and a blasphemous imputation, as it proves fundamental unbelief of Who and what He is. We are too familiar with the human and selfish argument that He could not sympathise with us adequately if exempt from those internal and evil workings, bemoaned in Rom. 7 and bitterly known by every soul born of God, at least in the early days of his awakening. But if we needed the Lord to be similarly harassed in order to feel fully with us, we should on that ground want Him to have yielded, as we alas! have often done, in order to sympathise with us in our sad failures. No! that ground is wretchedly and absolutely opposed to Christ; and what the word reveals as the remedy for evil within and without in every form and degree is not Christ's sympathy, but His propitiatory suffering for us. He sympathises with us in our holy, not in our unholy, temptations. For our unholiness He died; the cross alone has met it fully in God's sight. Had there been in fact the least inward taint of sin, His sensibility of evil had been impaired, His sufferings diminished, and His sympathy hindered, to say nothing of the deadly wound to His person, unfitted by such an evil nature to be a sacrifice for sin.

How precious is the thought of this to the crushed and sorrowing heart! The sight of human tears drew forth a groan from the loving, sympathising heart of the Son of God. Let all mourners remember this. Jesus did not rebuke Mary for weeping. He did not rally her on account of her sorrow. He did not tell her she ought not to feel; that she ought to be above everything of that sort. Ah, no! this would not be like Him. Some heartless folk may talk in this style; but He knew better. He, though Son of God, was a real man; and hence, He felt as a man ought to feel, and He knew what man must feel, while passing through the dark vale of tears.

"And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with [it]: whether a [or one] † member is glorified, all the members rejoice with [it]." (Ver. 26.) It is not said merely that they ought, but that they do. Whether it be good or ill, all that is according to God in one Christian goes out for blessing to all the rest; and there is not an ill or scandal in a saint at the antipodes which does not affect with its shade and suffering every other in these lands. We consciously suffer or rejoice, one may add, in the measure of our spiritual power. But the effect is real throughout the church. It is a body — the body of Christ — and as a whole it feels in joy or sorrow: else it were not a real organic unity. Undoubtedly also its present condition, with denominational barriers, which in all the saints sever into independent associations, as well as with the allowance of the world in most, reduces spiritual sensibility to the lowest: still, far from desiring otherwise, one dares not deny that it subsists, surviving these deplorable hindrances by its own vitality, as flowing from the Holy Spirit of God who dwells in the church.

The next verse passes into a wider region, and points out what is to characterize the whole life of the Christian: "Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ." This will be best understood by explaining first "the law of Christ." The law of His blessed life was to be a burden-bearer; "Himself took our infirmities and bare our sicknesses." By this we understand that in His grace and sympathy He went down under the sorrows of His people, and taking them, as it were, upon His own shoulders He bare them before God in order to take them away. This was in His life, but in His death He bore, not our infirmities, but our sins in His own body on the tree. Whether, therefore, in life or in death He was the great burden-bearer, and we are exhorted by the apostle to tread in this respect in His steps. This is the service to which we are called in the midst of our fellow-Christians, and, in another way indeed, as we come into contact even with sinners. But the special application here is to those who have been overtaken in a fault. We are not to pass by such on the other side of the way, like the priest and the Levite in the gospel, but n heartfelt sorrow for their condition we are, in the power of a holy compassion through the Spirit, to go down before God under the heavy burden that lies upon the hearts of our brethren, that we may be enabled first to intercede for them, and then to minister to their need, and thus be used in their restoration.