Why is God letting this happen to me?

Answered from the commentary of Alfred E. Bouter, James McBroom, Truth & Testimony and 7 others

God may allow this because He is using the trial for your good, to form you in Christ, deepen your knowledge of Him, and draw your heart nearer to Him. Suffering does not by itself show that you have sinned more than others: God may correct you, train you for what lies ahead, or use the trial to teach you about yourself and about Him. He may also allow suffering that comes through a fallen world or the actions of others, and its reason may not be clear to you now.

The trial is not a sign that God has abandoned you; He orders it with love and wisdom, and is with you to sustain and comfort you. You may not yet understand His purpose, but the passages say He makes no mistakes and that the trial can yield blessing as you are exercised by it.

Verses: Job 1:20, Job 1:21, Job 1:22, Job 2:9, Job 2:10, Job 3:1, Job 3:2, Job 3:3, Job 3:4, Job 3:5, Job 3:6, Job 3:7, Job 3:8, Job 3:9, Job 3:10, Job 3:11, Job 3:12, Job 3:13, Job 3:14, Job 3:15, Job 3:16, Job 3:17, Job 3:18, Job 3:19, Job 3:20, Job 3:21, Job 3:22, Job 3:23, Job 3:24, Job 3:25, Job 3:26, Job 38:1, Psalms 13:1, Psalms 13:2, Psalms 13:3, Psalms 13:4, Psalms 13:5, Psalms 13:6, Psalms 22:1, Psalms 22:2, Psalms 22:3, Psalms 22:4, Psalms 22:5, Psalms 22:6, Psalms 22:7, Psalms 22:8, Psalms 22:9, Psalms 22:10, Psalms 22:11, Psalms 22:12, Psalms 22:13, Psalms 22:14, Psalms 22:15, Psalms 22:16, Psalms 22:17, Psalms 22:18, Psalms 22:19, Psalms 22:20, Psalms 22:21, Psalms 22:22, Psalms 22:23, Psalms 22:24, Psalms 22:25, Psalms 22:26, Psalms 22:27, Psalms 22:28, Psalms 22:29, Psalms 22:30, Psalms 22:31, Psalms 34:17, Psalms 34:18, Psalms 34:19, Psalms 42:5, Psalms 42:6, Psalms 42:7, Psalms 42:8, Psalms 42:9, Psalms 42:10, Psalms 42:11, Psalms 46:1, Psalms 46:2, Psalms 46:3, Psalms 73:1, Psalms 73:2, Psalms 73:3, Psalms 73:4, Psalms 73:5, Psalms 73:6, Psalms 73:7, Psalms 73:8, Psalms 73:9, Psalms 73:10, Psalms 73:11, Psalms 73:12, Psalms 73:13, Psalms 73:14, Psalms 73:15, Psalms 73:16, Psalms 73:17, Psalms 73:18, Psalms 73:19, Psalms 73:20, Psalms 73:21, Psalms 73:22, Psalms 73:23, Psalms 73:24, Psalms 73:25, Psalms 73:26, Psalms 73:27, Psalms 73:28, Psalms 88:1, Psalms 88:2, Psalms 88:3, Psalms 88:4, Psalms 88:5, Psalms 88:6, Psalms 88:7, Psalms 88:8, Psalms 88:9, Psalms 88:10, Psalms 88:11, Psalms 88:12, Psalms 88:13, Psalms 88:14, Psalms 88:15, Psalms 88:16, Psalms 88:17, Psalms 88:18, Psalms 119:71, Psalms 147:3, Isaiah 41:10, Isaiah 43:1, Isaiah 43:2, Isaiah 43:3, Isaiah 53:3, Isaiah 53:4, Isaiah 53:5, Lamentations 3:19, Lamentations 3:20, Lamentations 3:21, Lamentations 3:22, Lamentations 3:23, Lamentations 3:24, Lamentations 3:25, Lamentations 3:26, Matthew 5:4, Matthew 6:25, Matthew 6:26, Matthew 6:27, Matthew 6:28, Matthew 6:29, Matthew 6:30, Matthew 6:31, Matthew 6:32, Matthew 6:33, Matthew 6:34, Matthew 10:29, Matthew 10:30, Matthew 10:31, Matthew 11:28, Matthew 11:29, Matthew 11:30, Matthew 26:36, Matthew 26:37, Matthew 26:38, Matthew 26:39, Matthew 27:46, Luke 13:1, Luke 13:2, Luke 13:3, Luke 13:4, Luke 13:5, John 9:1, John 9:2, John 9:3, John 11:32, John 11:33, John 11:34, John 11:35, John 11:36, John 16:33, Romans 5:3, Romans 5:4, Romans 5:5, Romans 8:18, Romans 8:26, Romans 8:27, Romans 8:28, Romans 8:29, Romans 8:30, Romans 8:31, Romans 8:32, Romans 8:33, Romans 8:34, Romans 8:35, Romans 8:36, Romans 8:37, Romans 8:38, Romans 8:39, Romans 12:12, 1 Corinthians 10:13, 2 Corinthians 1:3, 2 Corinthians 1:4, 2 Corinthians 1:5, 2 Corinthians 1:6, 2 Corinthians 1:7, 2 Corinthians 4:7, 2 Corinthians 4:8, 2 Corinthians 4:9, 2 Corinthians 4:10, 2 Corinthians 4:11, 2 Corinthians 4:12, 2 Corinthians 4:13, 2 Corinthians 4:14, 2 Corinthians 4:15, 2 Corinthians 4:16, 2 Corinthians 4:17, 2 Corinthians 4:18, 2 Corinthians 12:7, 2 Corinthians 12:8, 2 Corinthians 12:9, 2 Corinthians 12:10, Galatians 6:2, Philippians 4:6, Philippians 4:7, Hebrews 4:15, Hebrews 4:16, Hebrews 12:5, Hebrews 12:6, Hebrews 12:7, Hebrews 12:8, Hebrews 12:9, Hebrews 12:10, Hebrews 12:11, James 1:2, James 1:3, James 1:4, James 1:5, 1 Peter 1:6, 1 Peter 1:7, 1 Peter 5:7, Revelation 21:4

The above is AI generated summary based on the writers below.

What the commentators say

The passages the answer is drawn from, the most direct first, with the words that bear on the question marked.

William KellyNotes on Job

The problem handled in the book is the moral government of God: how to conciliate His righteousness with the sufferings, and even extreme sufferings, of a just and godly man? how to understand the permission of evil, in its worst form of malignant persecution, with His own good, and this before and apart from His revelation in Christ and by redemption? The books of Moses prepare the way for His government of a people, His own elect Israel, where all was to be manifest and a testimony before the world. Here it is His dealings with a soul before the true light shone, and the veil was rent, and sin condemned in the cross, along with the expression of exercises of heart and conscience under God's dealings. Now that we are reconciled to God by Christ's death and know ourselves to be in Christ before God, there is or ought to be a wholly new experience. But it is of the deepest interest and profit to see how the believer was enabled, not merely to walk uprightly when things were prosperous in an evil world but to confide in God spite of adversity and crushing affliction, and not only to submit to His will as chastening but to measure and abhor himself in dust and ashes before God. The beginning teaches that not Satan but God is the source of the action, the middle that He only and effectually carries forward the true lesson for the soul, the end that He is exceeding pitiful and of tender mercy. A whole long book devoted to the exercises of a soul in suffering, and he a Gentile, and this in the canon of the Jewish scriptures from the first! But it is not yet what some call the "mystery of the cross:" this was reserved for Christ.

Alfred E. BouterUnderstanding The Will Of God

God does not cause the suffering to His own, but He allows it to happen, so that His servants can benefit from the experience (e.g. increase their faith), and also for His own glory. Two examples are: Job, whom Satan tested to the uttermost, see Job 1 & 2, and Peter, whom Satan desired to sift as wheat, Luke 22:31.

Samuel RidoutDivision 3

(2) But though infinitely above man, and beyond his comprehension, God is not indifferent to His frail creatures, nor arbitrary in His dealings with them. When once the soul is subject to God, and has taken its true place, He can unfold His ways to it. As soon as it is ready to admit that God has some wise purpose in view, He will show that affliction is but one of the methods of God's dealings with men, and that it has a definite object. This, Elihu now proceeds to explain. So long as Job accuses, he gets no answer; let him submit and God will make all plain.

For the YoungHistory of the Church

The question has been often asked, Why does God allow the people on whom He has set His love to suffer in this way? and the answer is simple. It is because He loves them. There may be, there are, other reasons, but this is the chief. Whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth, and if the heart wander chastening is necessary. The wise man tells us, "By sorrow the heart is made better," and experience teaches us the truth of this. How readily will evil attach itself to the best of us! but in the furnace of affliction the dross is separated from the purer metal, and consumed. Moreover, when we endure chastening, God deals with us as with sons; and every trial which visits us, were we but patient under it, would be fruitful in blessing to our souls. True, the experience of passing through the trial is not pleasant; it would be no trial if it were; but a morning of joy succeeds the night of sorrow, and in the quiet after-time we say with David, "It is good for me that I have been afflicted."

James McBroomThe God of Glory

The standard of God's holy government is fixed and sure, and can never be lowered. What a man sows, that shall he reap, and punishment for sin is judicially and divinely certain, but to limit God in His dealings with His children to that is to dishonour Him, and to miss the richest and choicest of His designs. In point of fact, it displaces Him, leading to the conception of Him as an arbitrary Being, as the book of Job shews, and, coming to men, it turns the moral order of society upside down, and is accountable for the cruellest sufferings inflicted by men upon their fellows. In Job we have a man whose sufferings might well melt the hardest heart: yet, his friends (and they were men of a very high standard of life), through missing this important link in the chain of God's dealings with His servant, were turned into the cruellest and bitterest of foes. Why? Because, by limiting God's dealings to the punishment of sin, and missing the educative and promotive character of the sufferings, they could only conclude that such a great sufferer must have been a great sinner. What a solemn position these good men were found in. Condemning Job, by attempting ignorantly to justify God, instead of sympathising with the needy, they fixed upon him the cruellest charges. The position became a kind of deadlock, and those who came to help were found to hurt. The basis of their argument was wrong, their premises were false, and making a wrong start, both as to God and to Job, instead of the good that the circumstances called for, the very worst that was in them came out. It was doubtless thoughts like these that led the poet to write that "Man was made to mourn," for indeed "Man's inhumanity to man makes countless thousands mourn." Like the ecclesiastical tyranny of the dark ages of so-called "Church History," these men belied their messages, and were turned into despots of the inquisition. Thinking they were serving God by treating an unbroken sinner in faithfulness, they went all the length to recover him, and like many to-day, who conclude that THEY are the testimony, with hearts steeled against every human and tender feeling, persecute to the death those who may be like Job in the crucible of suffering, but, like him also, may be more in the thoughts and sympathies of heaven than themselves.

Yes, God in infinite and tender goodness can, and does, bring His children through sorrow and suffering. He did it with Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, David and others, and He is doing it to-day. He may chasten for sin, as corrective, or He may discipline the soul as seeing danger ahead, which surely is preventive, and, as in the case of Job, He may put us through a good deal of trial, that we may learn ourselves, and enter better into the knowledge of Him — which is surely promotive.

J. N. DarbyVolume 2, number 154

p249 DEAR BROTHER, - I write a line, not having been able to see you in my very hasty visit, to sympathise with you in your present trial, quite feeling how real a one it is to you. I enter not only into the way this would exercise and naturally prey upon the mind in all its thoughts - "the multitude of thoughts within me," as the Spirit of God deigns to speak. It is a serious trial to the father of a family, occupied as you are, to be deprived of sight. When the outward trial of being thus rendered comparatively helpless, brings all the heart into exercise, the subjection to God's will, the humbling ourselves under His mighty hand and contentment with whatever lot He may assign us and besides the question of an humbled will, there often arise doubts practically of His love, an impugning of His wisdom and almost a preference to be out of His hands, what Elihu calls a choosing iniquity rather than affliction. I do not say that this has been produced in you at all. I speak of the trial and temptation when such a case arises, and I speak of it, dear brother, that you may be helped by the remembrance of our Father's love, and turn at once to Him, and the assurance of His love. Remember that God, even our God, has better thoughts for us than rest or a portion here. He is educating us for a blessed and eternal rest, free from evil and all that would cause it, and He is bent on the blessing of His children; and moreover He is bound by His holiness to purge us suitably (though most graciously) for the place He has called us to. How often He lets Satan do this painful work, and try and sift us as Job! But His hand and will are behind it all. He gives His saints up to Satan's hand to a certain point, but only so far as to bring the heart fully to a bearing before Himself, and enter into deep questions with it, breaking down its pride. But not only was the tempter absolutely limited in what he was to do to Job, but it was the Lord who first proposed his case to Satan. He had His own end in it, as we see: Job gets into blessing with a knowledge of himself and of God, incomparably beyond what he had before. In all these cases, therefore, though Satan may sift and try us by a thousand trials without and thoughts within, our business is to think on His hand and love who originates it all as to the ultimate purpose. By its being the enemy the soul is sifted in it, tempted to murmur. God could not do that: and what flesh is, is fully brought out to us, and there is a giving up of self, which enables us infinitely better to appreciate God.

The Christian's FriendScripture Notes

We learn this lesson surely from this, that in the discipline of the Lord we cannot detect the cause of the chastisement from the nature of the chastisement. Trouble may come, and this may be governmental for some positive sin allowed, as at Ai. So the famine in David's reign. So sickness and death on Christians for the state of the assembly (1 Cor. 11), or for personal sin (1 John 5:16). But the same thing may fall upon him, and yet the saint be able to say with the apostle, "I know nothing against myself." Doubtless there is a reason for the suffering. If we think of the defeats of righteous Israel by sinful Benjamin, in Judges 20, we can see there was a reason for Israel's repeated humiliation, yet it was not want of integrity. I suppose the loose state of the nation had made the sin of Benjamin possible, and Israel was probably self-righteously indignant. They certainly got into a humbler spirit before God, and a softer one towards Benjamin, under their defeats; but they did not turn back from what they were about; namely, the judgment of the sinful tribe in which they, were right in the main. This is instructive, as showing us that the Lord may have our general state before Him, which needs correction by chastisement, while there may be perfect integrity of heart, and the path that one is in when one meets the suffering may be the right one. This I suppose will be true of Israel in the latter day, and to which I believe this psalm prophetically points.

VariousVarious

While God uses sickness, accidents, and other trying situations to chasten His children, we must never conclude that God is disciplining us only because of sin. (This was the mistake Job's friends made regarding his suffering.) The Lord often uses sufferings and trials to draw us closer to Him. He may seek to strengthen our faith by putting us in situations where we have to depend upon Him.

When others are suffering, it is never wise to think that God is chastening them for wrong doing. We are not to judge; that's God's business. However, when we are being chastened personally, we should ask God whether He intends it as correction, training for usefulness, or character development. If we do not get in touch with Him about His purpose, and cooperate with Him, we will not gain the happiness and peace He intends for us. Remember, God's dealings are a reality, and we will suffer great loss if we pass over them lightly. On the other hand, they will contribute greatly to our peace and happiness if we take them seriously. We can brighten our testimony for Him by cheerfully accepting our trials.

Alfred E. BouterUnderstanding The Will Of God

In 1983 a famous Rabbi in the US, Harold Kushner, published a book about the problem of suffering. In it he suggested that we should not blame God for sufferings (which is right); then he goes on to say that God is good, but that He cannot help it when evil befalls His people (which, of course, is a wrong thesis). Perhaps we may remind ourselves at this point of Romans 8:28, where we see the very opposite of Kushner's claim. God not only allows adverse circumstances, He is even in full control and uses them to form believers in His school' (Rom. 5:3-5; Jam. 1:3). His ways ultimately, and surely lead to the fulfilment of His purpose, that we should be conformed to Christ, the Firstborn among many brethren (Rom. 8:29). Why do we have sufferings? Is it not also, to make us realize that we are living in a world which is in direct opposition to God's will? (cf. 1 Peter 2:15).

The Bible TreasuryThe Sorrowing Sisters of Bethany

The characteristic of comfort is that it strengthens the soul to bear its burden with fortitude as well as resignation; and it accomplishes this result by considering the trial in the light of the glory of God. When sorrows overtake and overwhelm the soul, it gives itself many a bitter pang by reiterating the question — Why do I suffer this? Why has this come upon me? And under these circumstances there can he no real comfort, until such a one lays hold by faith upon the fact which scripture abundantly reveals, that the clouds and storms are but agents in the development of the beneficent purposes of God. All things are working together for the accomplishment of good; and this to those who love God and who are the called according to purpose. This we had not known but for the word of God; but He has given it for our comfort, and that we may thereby trace His hand in each event, minute or mighty, which befalls us. Leave God out, and all is confusion and anarchy: a crowd of pitiless misfortunes grinding man to the very dust of the ground from whence he was formed. Bring God in, and the man of faith can rejoice in tribulations also.

Verses

  • Job 1:20–2220And Job rose up, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down on the ground, and worshipped; 21and he said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither Jehovah gave, and Jehovah hath taken away; blessed be the name of Jehovah! 22In all this Job sinned not, nor ascribed anything unseemly to God.
  • Job 2:9–109And his wife said to him, Dost thou still remain firm in thine integrity? curse God and die. 10But he said to her, Thou speakest as one of the foolish women speaketh. We have also received good from God, and should we not receive evil? In all this Job did not sin with his lips.
  • Job 3:1–261After this, Job opened his mouth and cursed his day. 2And Job answered and said, 3Let the day perish in which I was born, and the night that said, There is a man child conceived. 4That day — let it be darkness, let not +God care for it from above, neither let light shine upon it 5Let darkness and the shadow of death claim it; let clouds dwell upon it; let darkeners of the day terrify it. 6That night — let gloom seize upon it; let it not rejoice among the days of the year; let it not come into the number of the months. 7Behold, let that night be barren; let no joyful sound come therein; 8Let them curse it that curse the day, who are ready to rouse Leviathan; 9Let the stars of its twilight be dark; let it wait for light, and have none, neither let it see the eyelids of the dawn 10Because it shut not up the doors of the womb that bore me, and hid not trouble from mine eyes. 11Wherefore did I not die from the womb, — come forth from the belly and expire? 12Why did the knees meet me? and wherefore the breasts, that I should suck? 13For now should I have lain down and been quiet; I should have slept then had I been at rest, 14With kings and counsellors of the earth, who build desolate places for themselves, 15Or with princes who had gold, who filled their houses with silver; 16Or as a hidden untimely birth I had not been; as infants that have not seen the light. 17There the wicked cease from troubling; and there the wearied are at rest. 18The prisoners together are at ease; they hear not the voice of the taskmaster. 19The small and great are there, and the bondman freed from his master. 20Wherefore is light given to him that is in trouble, and life to those bitter of soul, 21Who long for death, and it [cometh] not, and dig for it more than for hidden treasures; 22Who rejoice even exultingly and are glad when they find the grave? — 23To the man whose way is hidden, and whom +God hath hedged in? 24For my sighing cometh before my bread, and my groanings are poured out like the waters. 25For I feared a fear, and it hath come upon me, and that which I dreaded hath come to me. 26I was not in safety, neither had I quietness, neither was I at rest, and trouble came.