Why is an open rebuke better than secret love (Proverbs 27:5)?

It is the property of real love, to prove its activity; if it abide hidden when called to speak or work according to the heart, it betrays self rather than true affection. Even if there is a faultiness, love is bound to give "open rebuke." Indifference passes for much in this world, but it is the reverse of love, and cares for self, when it hides to spare danger and yet pretends affection.

A friend's wounds, on the contrary, are faithful, for God's will is thus done, even though misunderstood and resented for a while. An enemy betrays himself by the very profuseness of his kisses. God is not in such a display, but too often no more than partisanship in a human cause.

"Open rebuke is better than secret love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful."

When wrong is present, wisdom will seek to bring the help that meets the wrong. Secret love may wink at the evil, but this is not the true love of God: it is no help to the guilty party. Candid open rebuke in a spirit of kindness, not of mere censure, is both honesty and goodness. It may wound to some degree, even when done in a lowly, friendly way, but even the offender should recognize faithfulness in this, and if he rightly takes it to heart, his wounds will heal well. Moreover, it may lead him to love the wise reprover. Again, this kind of work, to be rightly done, requires true self-judgment and communion with God.

"Open rebuke is better than secret love" and "faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful" (verses 5-6). A wise man welcomes open criticism and rebuke, though such rebuke may wound, yet being given by the faithfulness of a friend, it is far better than the deceitful kisses of a flattering enemy. The 14th verse may be linked with these statements. "He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse unto him." Insincerity lurks behind such loud, pharisaical protestations of friendship.

Then he comes to the application of it. “Beloved, if God so loved us.” What then? Naturally we would say that we ought to love Him, but it is not put that way here. “We ought also to love one another.” Whom did God love? He loved us. He loved the brethren. What will that love do if it gets into my heart? It will do the same thing that it did in the heart of God. It will turn towards God’s children. It does not say we ought to love God. The law said that. Here it says, “If God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.” That is our obligation, but is it a law of liberty? Every saint of God in the world is precious to our hearts. We may get under the power of the world, and the flesh may become dominant, so that this love may not be seen, but at the bottom of our hearts, and in the heart of every believer there is love to all the children of God. But here love is practical. “Let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.” What is the good of secret love? “Open rebuke is better than secret love.” What is the good if it lies only in my heart, and is not manifested towards anybody else? It is of no value to anybody. God’s love was in deed and in truth. The commandments of God in the New Testament are infinitely beautiful, and most encouraging. Take for instance what the Lord says to Peter. Peter says, “How often shall my brother trespass against me, and I forgive him—until seven times?” The Lord says, “I say not until seven times, but until seventy times seven.” There is no limit to our forgiveness of one another. Is that a tremendous demand upon us? No, it tells me that what God is seeking is to make Himself manifest in us. Hence, if He says there is to be no limit to my forgiveness of my brother, that means there is no limit to His forgiveness of me. I have only to act towards others as He has acted towards me. If we love one another, God is seen in us. We read in John 1, “No man has seen God at any time.” What is the answer to it? “The only begotten Son, which is in the bosom of the Father, He has declared Him.” The answer to it in the Gospel was Jesus; the answer to it in the Epistle is the saints. “By this shall all men know that ye are My disciples, if ye have love one to another.” If we love one another practically what will be the effect of it? Everybody will say, “These people are disciples of Jesus.” Why so? Because nobody ever taught it but Himself. They have been in the school of Christ. Every avenue in which the love of God has run in Christ will run in you and me. If we love one another the saints will get their share of that love. If we are going on with God the saints get it, and the world gets it. The world hears the Gospel, and we rejoice when the Gospel is preached. We help those who preach it, if we cannot preach it ourselves. What is the spring and fountain of all that? All these energies proceed from the nature of God, which we have, for God is love. The love is perfected in us, and there is nothing lacking. Wherever you go saint and sinner are met by the love of God, for “we have seen, and do testify, that the Father sent the Son to be the Saviour of the world.”

"He that rebuketh a man afterwards shall find more favor than he that flattereth with his tongue."

It may not he easy for us to rebuke wrong in a kind, gentle, faithful way; and we cannot expect that it will be taken kindly at first, but the long-range results will be valuable. On the other hand, one who flatters a wrong doer may be considered very kind and considerate at first, but his friendship will not long be desired, for he cannot be trusted. Yet let us always carefully distinguish between mere criticism and true faithfulness.

(Vv. 14, 15). In contrast with the wise man, there are those who allow bitter envy and strife in their hearts. The evil, as ever, commences in the heart; and envy in the heart leads to boasting, and boasting to lying against the truth. How often the envious man will seek to hide his jealousy by protesting that he has no rancour in his heart, but is only resisting evil and standing for the truth. If, under the pretence of exposing some evil and telling a brother the plain truth for his good, we deliberately say things that are offensive, we may be perfectly sure that malice in the heart is behind our offensive words. How often have the most malicious words been excused by quoting the scripture, “Open rebuke is better than secret love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend.” How few would be able to quote the words that immediately precede, and that would warn us that we should not use this scripture lightly, for they ask the question, “Who is able to stand before envy?” (Prov. 27:4-6).

There is yet another case, exceptional, doubtless, but not by any means impossible, viz., the appropriation of these words of Scripture so as, if possible, to arrest all faithful remonstrance. This indicates a most unhealthy condition of soul in shrinking from the light, for "he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God." (John 3:21.) It is the poor human substitute, characterised by indifference to evil, that is made to do duty in a state of soul-estrangement from God, as Light, for divine and holy Love.

The language of the true heart as to God is, uniformly, "Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead, me in the way everlasting" (Ps. 139:23-24); and as to fellow-believers, "Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness: and let him reprove me; it, shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head." (Ps. 141:5.) Lastly, the wise man says, "Open rebuke is better than secret love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful." (Prov. 27:5-6.) M. C. G.

There might be error or evil, and this continued. In such a case to be indifferent for the sake of peace is a sin; and reproof is called for, especially where a man of sense was concerned. For a reproof penetrates such a one more than a hundred stripes would a fool. How timid even Christians are in this office of love, even when a worldly mind does not make them unfeeling!

The exhortation is as to our ordinary but God-fearing intercourse. The necessities of godly discipline are not in question. Holy love is bound to rebuke what is wrong in those guilty of it, and to warn those who may be endangered by the evil example. Wrong in these cases must be laid bare though it ought to be in sorrow; but it is due to the Lord, and for the profit of those concerned. If there be a public snare and peril, this makes a corresponding admonition to be a duty, and is love in truth.

Honest rebuke of the wicked, or of any unprincipled favour shown them, as the rule, wins delight and the cordial desire for a blessing upon such. It draws out the strongest mark, not only of respect but affection, when a right answer is given, whereas self curries favour by compromise.