Why did the disciples conclude that it is better not to marry in Matthew 19:10?

Verse 10 seems to indicate that Jewish custom had so obscured the sanctity of marriage that the disciples felt the Lord's instructions to be so exacting that to remain single would be preferable. But they had not stopped to consider the most important matter of the guidance of God in marriage. If this were sought and submitted to by both parties, how much ensuing difficulty would be avoided!

The Lord's answer is perhaps more accurately translated in the Numerical Bible, "Not all have capacity for this, but those to whom it hath been given," that is, not all have capacity to remain unmarried, though some do. Some were by nature eunuchs, being born as such. Others had been made eunuchs through the cruelty of men, as slaves deprived of their sexual powers. Other still, however, had voluntarily made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. Then He adds that this is only for those able to receive it. Therefore, as to the third class, there is a spiritual explanation. Rather than one being a literal eunuch in this case, he willingly denies himself the privileges connected with marriage in order to devote himself entirely to the service of the Lord.

Thus it is that Christ, the true light, alone and always introduces the perfect mind of God, supplying all deficiencies and making all perfect. This is the aim, work and effect of grace. Nevertheless, "His disciples say unto Him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry" (ver. 10). Alas! the selfishness of the heart even in disciples. It was so much the custom then to dismiss the wife because of petty dislike, etc., that it shocked them to hear the Lord insisting on the indissolubility of the marriage tie.

But, says the Lord, "All men receive not this saying, save they to whom it is given. For there are some eunuchs which were so born from their mother's womb; and there are some eunuchs which were made eunuchs of men; and there be eunuchs which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it" (vers. 11, 12). There, I apprehend that, while maintaining the institution of marriage naturally, the Lord shows there is a power of God that can raise people above it. The apostle Paul was acting in the spirit of this verse, when he gives us his own judgment as one that had "obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful" (1 Cor. 7:25). Doubtless he was called to a remarkable work, which would have made due attention to family relationship very difficult. His business lay and took him everywhere. Wherever there were churches to care for, wherever souls cried, Come over and help us — and far beyond the calls of saints or men, the Holy Ghost laid it on his devoted heart. With wife or family to care for, the work of the Lord could not have been so thoroughly done. Hence the wise and gracious judgment of the apostle, not given as a command, but left to weigh on the spiritual mind. The last of the three classes in the verse is figuratively expressed: it means, plainly, living unmarried for God's glory. But mark, it is a gift, not a law, much less a caste. Only such receive it "to whom it is given." It is put as a privilege. As the apostle presses the honourableness of marriage, he was the last to lay the smallest slur on such a tie; but he also knew of a higher and all-absorbing love, an entrance, in measure, into the affections of Christ for the Church. Still this is not an imposed obligation, but a special call and gift of grace in which he rejoiced to glorify his Master. The appreciation of the love of Christ to the Church had formed him in its own pattern. Observe here, it is "made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake" — that order of things which depends on Christ now in heaven. And hence, strong in the grace that shines in Him at the right hand of God, they to whom it is given walk above the natural ties of life — not despising them; but honouring them, while individually surrendering themselves to that goodly portion which shall not be taken from them.

The Lord's teaching as to divorce was new and surprising even to His disciples, and prompted their remark recorded in verse 10. This in its turn led Him to declare that marriage is the normal thing for man, and the unmarried state the exceptional, as is also inferred by Paul's words in 1 Corinthians 7:7. If "it is given" to a man, then "it is good not to marry," but normally, "Marriage is honourable in all" (Heb. 13:4).

In the law there was a compromise made between God's order and the hardness of men's hearts; and so under the law men were permitted to divorce their wives; but all that was set aside by the Lord's coming into the world. He came to establish a kingdom in which the will of God would be done, and so He sweeps out of the way the provision that Moses had made because of the hardness of men's hearts, and in so doing astonished His disciples. God had said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an helpmeet for him." The disciples say, "If the case of the man with his wife be so, it is not good to marry." But that was merely because they saw the high place in which the Lord set this relationship in His kingdom, without knowing the grace that reigns in that kingdom to enable all who are in it to fulfil every relationship according to God.

(3) To return now to our text: the disciples show out now the state of their own hearts. "If the case of the man with his wife be so," they say, "it is not good to marry." And the Lord replies: "Not all have capacity for this, but those to whom it has been given." The word of God having pronounced from the beginning, to which our Lord has been referring us, that it is not good for man to be alone," we cannot expect that the gift to abide alone will be other than exceptional. Christianity leaves the general truth unaffected, while it may and does give power over nature where special circumstances call for this. Nature itself has imposed this necessity upon some: the cruelty of men has imposed it upon others. But the Kingdom of heaven, as a motive in the heart, may lift men above all necessity, and enable them to take this place freely. How different a thought, however, from the selfishness which had just spoken out in the disciples, and of which their Master takes no further notice. The shining of the light sufficiently reveals the darkness which it displaces.

Now, the disciples' comment on this teaching brings out another phase of wrong-thinking. The Pharisees would have marriage with all the licence that their loose morals craved for. The disciples, if marriage was to be without these liberties, would argue that, "it is not good to marry." But this was to contradict the very words of God. At the beginning He had said, "It is not good that man should be alone," and this ruling still exists. Christianity may produce in some that which is beyond nature, and for the Kingdom of Heaven's sake a man may have a special gift so to abide.

"His disciples say to Him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry. And He said to them, All cannot receive this word, but those to whom it has been given; for there are eunuchs, which have been born thus from their mother's womb; and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs of men; and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs of themselves for the sake of the kingdom of the heavens." He that is able to receive it, let him receive it (verses 10-12).

The disciples, with their question, lay bare their own hearts. If such was the case, they think, that the best thing is not to marry at all. He speaks then of what incapacitates for marriage. Some are unfitted for this divinely instituted relation by nature, others have been made so by wicked men, a custom still largely prevailing in the Orient. There is a third class who are exempt, and these are those who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of the heavens. This does not mean mutilation. It means, no doubt, living in an unmarried state for the sake of the kingdom. It is not a law, not an obligation, nor a "sacrament." Celibacy is a man-made and wicked doctrine, contrary to Scripture. "He that is able to receive it, let him receive it." It is then something to be received, a gift from above. The grace and power of God is able to lift some to whom it is given, above the natural things of life. Paul undoubtedly was such a one to whom it was given. "For I would that all men were even as myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.... But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh; but I spare you. But this I say, brethren, the time is short, it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none.... But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord" (1 Cor. 7:7, 28-32).

But besides this, another power is come in, which is not nature but divine, as in the power of the Spirit of God, because nature is all ruined, the power of evil is in the world, to which nature is no answer, because it is what is ruined; power therefore comes in, which is above nature, as being of God, but which consequently owns nature as He made it, and His institutions. To break them is sin, to live above them is the gift of God. "He that is able to receive it, let him receive it."

The Lord next shows three exceptions to marriage. Two of these are connected with nature from different angles of which we need not speak, but the third is of some import and calls for a few words. "Made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake." First let it be noted that we are here far from the shocking thought of enforced celibacy. If we have looked at marriage as the richest blessing in nature: here we have a power introduced by grace which carries one above nature altogether. There is nothing legal, stoical or ecclesiastical about this; perhaps it may be best explained by the well-known phrase: — "The expulsive power of a new affection." It is indeed the blessed power of the grace of heaven working in the heart and so shaping the life that a person is so controlled by the interests of Christ as to forego what is his proper portion as a man here on earth. Everything that could distinguish the

How different from scripture is the enforced celibacy of nuns, not to speak of monks and priests also! To what moral enormities, as well as wretchedness, this daring encroachment on God's prerogative has given rise for ages! Yet no doubt need be that it grew out of a desire for thorough devotedness. The due limits are laid down in Matt. 19:11-12 and in 1 Cor. 7 as well as here. The unmarried state has its advantages where grace gives the due inward condition, which would surely fit into suited external circumstances and issue in such a life and service as we see in the apostle himself. But this is not given to all, nor is it of man's will but of divine grace. Make it a law, and the grace is destroyed; and a speedy result of sin, shame, and misery proclaims the wisdom of God's ways and the folly of Christendom's. Presuming to do better, they have notoriously fallen not only into the violation of common morality, but into unspeakable turpitude, covered with the veil of hypocrisy, to the ruin of souls and the present worldly advantage of those whose unswerving instinct is doing evil that good may come, whose judgment is just.