Why did Jesus ask Peter "Do you love me?" three times?

"When they had dined, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these?" Now that was a very searching question. It told the whole tale. "Lovest thou me more than these?" That was the root of his failing. Peter did not give the other disciples credit for being willing to go to prison and to death for Jesus' sake; but he believed himself. He was confident that he loved the Lord as nobody else did, and now the Lord turns upon Peter. He had carried the work on in his soul. He had looked upon him and sent him out to weep when he remembered the word. He had seen him alone, but now He would carry on the work at the same time that He would publicly reinstate His servant; for the very point here was that, while the work was carried on more deeply than in others, it was in presence of others, that they might know the entire restoration of communion between Peter and the Lord — nay, more than that, that they might know the confidence which the Lord reposed in Peter now. He had never done it before. He had never entrusted his sheep to Peter before. Oh, what grace! The very time when men would have said, "Never trust Peter again! A man that has so denied the Lord — he may be a saint! I hope he will get to heaven — but never you trust that man! Why, did any one ever hear of such flagrant, repeated denial?" Well now, you see the Lord does it all before them, and the first question really probed the heart, though He carries it still deeper every time. "Simon, son of Jonas," for that was the point — he trusted himself "lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord, thou knowest that I love thee." What does the Lord say? "He saith unto him, Feed my lambs. He saith to him again the second time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord, thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my sheep. He saith unto him the third time." Peter had denied Him thrice, and it is in the most pointed reference to this that He puts it the third time; yet Peter did not feel how deeply the Lord was going, for He had not alluded to his denial; but now he understands. He thought it was all settled, but the Lord would have it settled not only publicly, but divinely. And you see here was the thing that was wanting. He had judged his failure, but had he got to the cause of the failure? Had he detected the root of it? I do not believe he had. We may be very, very grieved because of our sin, and feel it deeply before God; but have we really reached what exposed us to sin? What was it in Peter? His confidence in his own loving the Lord — that he could go where nobody else could — that he loved the Lord more than any one — more than these.

The Lord begins with the full restoration of Peter's soul. He does not reproach him with his fault, but judges the source of evil that produced it — self-confidence. Peter had declared, that if all should deny Jesus, yet he at least would not deny Him. The Lord therefore asks him, "Lovest thou me more than do these?" and Peter is reduced to acknowledge that it required the omniscience of God to know that he, who had boasted of having more love than all others for Jesus, had really any affection for Him at all. And the question thrice repeated must indeed have searched the depths of his heart. Nor was it till the third time that he says, "Thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee." Jesus did not let his conscience go until he had come to this. Nevertheless the grace which did this for Peter's good — the grace which had followed him in spite of everything, praying for him before he felt his need or had committed the fault — is perfect here also. For, at the moment when it might be thought that at the utmost he would be re-admitted through divine forbearance, the strongest testimony of grace is lavished upon him. When humbled by his fall, and brought to entire dependence upon grace, all-abounding grace displays itself. The Lord commits that which He most loved to him — the sheep whom He had just redeemed. He commits them to Peter's care. This is the grace which surmounts all that man is, which is above all that man is; which consequently produces confidence, not in self, but in God, as One whose grace can always be trusted in, as being full of grace and perfect in that grace which is above everything, and is always itself; grace which makes us able to accomplish the work of grace towards — whom? — man who needs it. It creates confidence in proportion to the measure in which it acts.

"Lovest thou me more than these?" Peter had said that he loved Him more, and yet had denied Him. The Lord takes him, so to speak, by the hand, and leads him back to the spot whence his fall originated — confidence in his own strength and in his love for Christ. Three times during the Saviour's last interviews with His disciples Peter clearly manifests his state of soul. "Though all men shall be offended because of thee, yet will I never be offended." (Matthew 26:33.) "Lord, I am ready to go with thee, both into prison, and to death." (Luke 22:33.) And, "Lord, why cannot I follow thee now? I will lay down my life for thy sake." (John 13:37.) The Lord takes up these three words, beginning with the first: "Though all men shall be offended." "Lovest thou me more than these?" All, alas! had forsaken Him, but Peter only had denied Him, and can therefore no longer rely on his love compared to that of others. Thus humbled, he appeals, not to his feelings, but to the Saviour's knowledge. He knew. "Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee." He does not add, "More than these;" for he compares himself with Christ, and in humility he esteems others better than himself.

Then the Lord put the same question the third time. Peter was grieved that the Lord asked three times. Why three? The enemies of the Lord had asked Peter three times if he was a follower of Jesus, and three times he had denied the truth. So Simon knew that the Lord was searching and trying him. He felt the point of the knife in his heart, and that he deserved its exposure. His only resource was in the omniscience of the Lord: "Thou knowest all things; Thou knowest that I love Thee." Now the restoration of the fallen apostle was completed, and Peter was given his new commission, "Feed My lambs, feed My sheep."

Thrice Peter had denied his Master; thrice the question is addressed to him: Lovest thou me?" But this was not merely for bringing more closely home to his conscience the sin of his threefold denial, though, no doubt, reminding him of it; for that matter had been settled previously. It was done to put the knife to the quick, in order to make Peter judge the root of the evil, i.e. his self-confidence, which had brought him to fall.

This root had to be exposed. Therefore, “When they had dined, Jesus says to Simon Peter, Simon son of Jonas, lovest thou Me more than these?” This was a pointed and strong question, and it went right to the very bottom of Peter's heart. Three times Peter had denied his Lord and three times his Lord now challenges the heart of Peter, for the roots must be reached if any permanent good is to be done. It will not do merely to have the conscience purged from the effects which have been produced in practical life, there must also be the moral judgment of that which produced them. This is not sufficiently understood and attended to. Hence, again and again the roots spring up and bring forth fruit, and scatter their seed a thousand-fold around us, thus cutting out for us the most bitter and sorrowful work which might all be avoided if the roots of things were thoroughly judged and kept under.

While the Lord appeared personally to Peter the very day of His resurrection, by which the personal restoration of Peter was surely fully accomplished without a word of this known to the other disciples, yet the Lord has allowed further time to pass before now dealing with Peter in relation to the other disciples. It is precious to see that the Lord Jesus would allow no passage of time after His resurrection before seeking out His conscience-stricken sheep to restore him to personal communion with Himself. But public restoration always takes a little longer, that the Lord may reach deeper still into the soul in order that His servant may be more properly fitted for public service in true humility of faith. More than this, He has the object also of reaching the hearts and consciences of the other disciples, who must learn to judge themselves rather than have any remaining feeling of criticism of their fellow-servant, and thus to wholeheartedly rejoice in his restoration.

Gently the Lord asks, “Simon, son of Jonas, do you love Me more than these?” For Simon had before compared himself with others, saying that, though all forsook the Lord, yet he would not, thereby implying that he loved the Lord more than they did. The Greek word for love here is “agape,“ a word of strong import, used as to God's love for His Son and toward the world, a pure concern for the greatest good of its object. But in response Peter declines to use this word, but uses the word, “phileo” instead, a word that denotes tender affection: “You know that I have affection for You.” In other words, he can no longer trust the strength of his love, but he is honestly attached to the Lord. Nor can he think of saying, “More than these,” after his experience of failure when tested.

Addressing Peter as Simon, and as 'son of Jonas', points to where Peter came from, what he was naturally. He had acted as natural man. He loved the Lord but had thought he could follow Him in his own strength. This is the principle of the flesh and doomed to fail. The three questions put the finger on this point: Peter's confidence in his own love. The Lord asks these questions because Peter (who had already judged the fuit, i.e. the denial) has to be brought to the point of judging the roots, i.e. his self confidence. The first question challenges Peter as to whether he would (still) maintain that he loved the Lord more than others; the second one whether he loved the Lord (at all), the third one whether he had any affection for the Lord (phileo, a weaker word is used). Peter is grieved but his answers show that a divine work had occurred in his heart. Now the Lord is able to use him again, entrusting to him a threefold service.

So the Lord graciously leads Peter to full restoration and makes it clear that his chance to serve the Lord is not gone (see comments on V.1). But also the opportunity to die for the Lord would not be missed once for all but would be granted to him at a later stage (v.18.19).

The third question was a still deeper thrust, for this time Jesus adopted Peter's own word and asked, "Art thou attached to Me?" Thus He challenged Peter's right to go so far as saying he was even attached to Him. This cut him to the quick and probed him to the depth. He realized that he could not claim to love, and that his conduct had belied even a friendly attachment. He therefore cast himself wholly upon his omniscient Lord, saying, "Lord, Thou knowest all things; Thou knowest that I am attached to Thee." This virtually acknowledged that his attachment was of such faint and microscopic proportions that only Divine omniscience would perceive it. Still it was there! Peter knew it, and he knew his Lord would know it.

But the Lord speaks to him yet again. "He saith to him the third time, Simon (son) of John, dost thou dearly love Me?" Here the probe reached the bottom. Not a word of blame or reproach; but the Lord for the third time questions him, and for the first time takes up his own word of special affection. Did not his threefold denial appear in the light of the threefold appeal, and, above all, of that word expressive of endearing love? "Peter was grieved, because He said to him the third time, Dost thou dearly love Me? and he said to Him, Lord, Thou knowest all things; Thou knowest that I dearly love Thee. Jesus saith to him, Feed My sheep," or, if the reading of the Alexandrian, the Vatican, and the Paris palimpsest, etc., be preferred, My "little sheep," a diminutive of tenderness and endearment. [So W. and H., but Blass follows Syrsin reading πρόβατα.]

The work of restoration was now fully done. Peter abandons every thought of self, and can find refuge only in grace. Only He Who of Himself knows all without an effort, only He could give credit to Peter's heart, spite of his mouth and all appearances; yet did not He know that His poor denying servant dearly loved Him? The answer of the Lord, committing afresh what was dearest to Him on earth — the gift of the Father's love to Himself — seals Peter's restoration, not in soul only, but in his relation to the sheep of His pasture. Feed them, says the Lord. To tend or rule pastorally is not forgotten; but positive nourishment, as of the lambs at the beginning, remains to the last the abiding task of the shepherd, the habitual need of the sheep; but it demands enduring and deep love, not to scold, perhaps, or govern, but to feed, and not least of all the least of all Christ's sheep. Only the love of Christ can carry one through it.