Why did Amnon rape Tamar? Why didn't David punish Amnon?

"Behold I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house." This was Jehovah's sentence and it is now carried out. The evil which he had nourished in his heart, the passion which he had fed now breaks out in his own family. His oldest sons and Tamar, a daughter of David, half sister to Amnon, are the chief actors in the first tragedy. Amnon means "faithful." Thus he should have been, but he is the very opposite. Brought up in the midst of scenes of license, as it must have been in David's harem, the lust of the flesh gets the upper hand and the awful deed, a positive transgression of the law (Lev. 20:17) is committed. The deed had been precipitated by a satanic adviser, Jonadab, a subtle man, and when it was done violent hate gave way to the violent passion of Amnon. Unhappy Tamar, outraged, insulted and hated, appears with her virgin-princess gown torn, ashes on her head, her hand on top of her head (the oriental way of expressing a heavy burden) and crying, and her brother Absalom discovers the reason of her sorrow. He then hated his brother Amnon. David heard of it also and was very wroth, but he made no attempt to deal with his son. We do not read a word that he even rebuked him. "The gloss of the Septuagint is likely to be correct, that David left unpunished the incest of Amnon with Tamar, although committed under peculiarly aggravating circumstances, on account of his partiality to him as being his first born son. This indulgence on the part of his father may also account for the daring recklessness which marked Amnon's crime. But a doting father, smitten with moral weakness, might find in the remembrance of his own past sin an excuse for delay, if not a barrier to action; for it is difficult to wield a heavy sword with a maimed arm" (History of Judah and Israel).

After two years the reckoning day comes. Absalom (the father of peace) becomes the murderer of his brother. It was an awful deed. In the midst of merrymaking, Amnon filled with wine, with no chance to repent, is cruelly slain. The sword is unsheathed and fell upon David's house. The harvest is on. What a man soweth that he will reap-murder for murder. It was an awful blow to David, for Amnon, his beloved first-born, the son of Ahinoam, was dead. Exaggerated tidings reach the court of David. "Absalom hath slain all the King's sons and there is not one of them left." And wicked Jonadab, the instigator of Amnon's crime, appears again and acts as comforter of the king. Jonadab is one of the most abominable characters in Bible history. We do not read of him again. Absalom, the fratricide, fled to Talmai, his maternal grandfather. He remained there three years; so this chapter covers a period of five years. Alas! who was responsible for it all? The scenes of lust and murder, outrage and bloodshed, revolt and rebellion, sorrow upon sorrow, grief upon grief, start with David's great sin. Pardoned he was, restored in every sense of the word, yet God maintains His holiness and chastised His servant.

David heard of the incident and was very angry (v.21). Ought it not rather to have deeply humbled him before God in brokenness of heart and feeling the guilt as though it had been his own? Surely he had not so quickly forgotten his own dreadful sin. He did nothing. In fact, Absalom also did nothing at the time, but nursed a bitter hatred toward Ammon (v.22) that would wait opportunity to do the worst.

Two full years did not serve to change Absalom's hatred toward Ammon. At this time he plotted to get Ammon on to his own property, and he invited David and all his brothers at a time when he was having his sheep sheared and would be realizing large profits. David considered this too much for Absalom to handle and declined the invitation. But at Absalom's insistence that Ammon and his other brothers be permitted to go, David consented (v.27). No doubt both David and Ammon were off guard by now, for they would expect nothing after two years had elapsed. But they little knew Absalom's character.

Sheep shearing was a time of celebration, and Ammon joined in the wine drinking without suspicion. Absalom did not himself commit the murder, but had his servants do this at the opportune time (vs.28-29), when the wine had dulled Ammon's senses. Notice two things here that remind us of David's sin. He had used wine to try to influence Uriah (ch.11:13), and he had killed Uriah by the hands of other men (ch.12:9). David's house was indeed suffering because of David's sin, and this was by no means the end.

This brings us to that period in his history when he was afflicted and humbled by the evil of his own children. In whatsoever way could a man be made to feel the evil of his nature and publicly humbled? David as king ought to have been the example of righteousness, for by righteousness was the throne to have been established; and if the head fail, the leaven must spread, and increase throughout the system. Defects in a parent's self-government will be extravagantly betrayed in his children; and from their infancy he is taught in a painful way what needs repression and crucifixion in his own nature, though he may never have committed sins actually similar to those of his children; but children are his continuation on earth, and portray his nature to him.

According to the law, I judge that Amnon ought to have suffered death for his sin. (2 Sam. 13:4.) David fails to be "just, ruling in the fear of God." And judgment overtakes Amnon by the hand of his brother Absalom; who thus guilty of murder, flies the kingdom; but David, yielding to the stratagem of Joab, is weak enough, not only to allow him to return, but after a time to reinstate him in favour. (2 Sam. 14) This weakness and injustice before very long bears the bitterest fruits; for, when we unrighteously spare another in order to indulge our own feelings, we always expose ourselves to the evil of the nature which we should have controlled and condemned. The very next verse to the one which tells us of Absalom's reception by his father announces to us Absalom's parricidal rebellion. (2 Sam. 15:1.)

As the superscription of the Psalm declares, it was composed by David when he fled from his son Absalom. This was a solemn moment in the king's history. Nathan had warned him from the Lord, after his grievous sin in the matter of Uriah the Hittite, that the sword should never depart from his house. For while God could, and did, pardon His servant, on his confession of his guilt, He did not interpose (as He seldom does) to shelter him from the governmental consequences of his iniquity on earth. Grace can righteously restore a fallen saint, but God's government is immutable in its laws and principles. It must be remembered also that David's transgression had set God's law at defiance, and thus had relaxed, by his own example, the moral obligations of the people to their God. David was God's anointed, and God's representative in government; and yet he had trampled under foot one of God's fundamental laws. The anointed king had thus become the guiltiest sinner in his kingdom.

Still, as we have seen, God pardoned him: "the Lord also," said Nathan, "hath put away thy sin, thou shalt not die." But before these gracious words were uttered he had also said, "Thus saith the Lord, Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house," and he proceeded to tell him that his "neighbour" should do, before all Israel and before the sun, what he had done secretly. The next chapter (2 Sam. 13) begins the narrative of the fulfilment of this judgment. Ammon, David's firstborn son, sinned, and Absalom, having, in revenge, and with subtlety, killed Ammon, fled to Talmai the king of Geshur. And how did David regard the crime of his son? He mourned for his son every day … and he longed to go forth unto Absalom; for he was comforted concerning Ammon, seeing he was dead! Alas! the kings' moral susceptibilities had been weakened by his own iniquity, and he failed, through natural affection, or in the requisite courage, to vindicate Jehovah's righteous law.

David did not have to wait long to see the sad governmental results of his sin begin to be manifest in his own family His son Ammon was so attracted by the beauty of his half sister Tamar that he became sick in entertaining thoughts of her, though he knew well that his lust was improper.

When a friend of his, Jonadab, enquired about the cause of his indisposition, he confided in him about his lustful thoughts. Jonadab had no sense of moral decency, and was so crafty as to suggest a deceitful means of Ammon's getting his sister alone into his bedroom and forcing her. Ammon foolishly followed his advice, not thinking of the probable consequences. The deceit he used reminds us of the deceit of David in trying to cover his own sin. in spite of the earnest pleading of Tamar not to force her, her warning him that this would bring disgrace upon his own head as well as covering with shame the one he thought he loved, he went through with his evil intentions. This too reminds us of David's virtually forcing Bathsheba, for he brought her to his own house and since he was king she no doubt thought she could not withstand him.

Again, that the remembrance of his own sin has weakened his ability to execute judgment on it in others is plain by his conduct; or else that natural affection rendered him helpless. The effect was, in either case, the same: the unjudged evil worked on in family and kingdom, till they were filled with the leaven of it; Absalom recalled becomes a conspirator; and Ishbosheth's Mahanaim has soon a new tale to tell. The rebellion is stopped, and Absalom dies, smiting the father's heart with a new pang. David is recalled, but only to have revived the memory of the past in what proves by and by to be a prophecy of the future: the bond between Ephraim and Judah shows itself almost broken; and so at last, amid returning spasms of violence, the storm for the present passes away.

But who can tell when the effect of one sin ceases? Adam's, like David's, was one sin, — in outward seeming not so evil; — its effect is only multiplied today, by all the seed that it has ripened, sown again, and reaped, and again sown! As men have of late discovered disease and pestilence to be living germs that subsist upon corruption, and mature and multiply on the decay they bring, so is sin vital and prolific with the germs of bitter harvest. Blessed be God that He has provided a remedy for sin!

(1) It will not be expected that there should be much comment upon Amnon's sin. The first-born of a despotic king, this had doubtless helped to nurture in him the growth of unrestrained will; while the atmosphere of a polygamous household, loosening family ties, could not but at the same time encourage the rambling inclinations of a luxurious temper. The very fence not such but that it might be leaped — around the object of his pursuit might encourage it: prohibition broken through has its own charm with it, — "the pleasures of sin, for a season": "stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant; but he knoweth not that the dead are there; and that her guests are in the depths of hell."

Nor can it be doubted that the influence of his father's sin had, with one like Amnon, been without the check upon it of his father's repentance. Sin gathers its arguments at its will, and refuses what makes not for its purpose. The highest unreason, it finds in will its reason. Its subtlety is that of a maniac, with large gaps for self-deception. Nor has the natural man ability to estimate spiritual values, as of faith, or of repentance. Amnon would only see that his father had sinned, and had not suffered: he could not know that his own vices were to be the scourge upon his father's sins. There is a necessary blindness that must be theirs who reject divine wisdom, and which therefore excuses none. All this had worked together to make Amnon the coarse, sensual, cruel despot that he was, — a spectre that might well terrify the father of such a son, and who had done so much to make him what he was.

Amnon, too, has his "subtle" adviser, Jonadab, with his beautiful name, "Jehovah freely gives," and his satanic spirit. Everywhere here names are in opposition to things; the piety in David, spotted, alas, with the flesh, seems to have worked for the loss of piety in others.

Across this scene,with ashes on her head and her rent garment of divers colors, flees Tamar, a childlike figure of wronged innocence, to her refuge in her brother's house. A king's court is no refuge, no safeguard. The king may be wroth, but it avails not: has he not himself introduced this shadow of uncompensated wrong that now pursues him? Did he not work the first dishonor to his home, and dig through its wall with his own hands?

But such sowing must bring a harvest, and we see it in wave after wave of trouble that swept over the king in his later years. The little babe, given through this wicked act, dies; and David bows to this stroke of discipline. But there is more. What David had done to Bathsheba, Uriah's wife; now his eldest son, Amnon, does to Tamar, David's fair daughter. Sad, sad record. Little wonder when king David heard of all these things he was very wroth (2 Sam 13:25). But did David realize that it was he, himself, who had set the wicked example before his eldest son of the sin that now so angered and humiliated him?

Nor was this all. Tamar was full sister to Absalom, and Amnon's evil deed so filled his heart with hatred of his brother, that he does not rest until he has murdered him. And then follows more sad reaping of bad seed sown years before. Absalom flees the country to find refuge, instead of punishment, with his heathen, maternal grandfather, Talmai king of Geshur. There he feels himself safe from the vengeance that should, according to the law of God, have fallen on him.

Ammon having been guilty of the cruel rape of Tamar, his professed love for her was proven utterly false, for he turned against her with vicious hatred. This is what will often occur when one is led by infatuation. He knew he had done evil, and the one he had wronged is the one who becomes the object of his worst hatred. From then on, every time he saw her, his conscience would burn. For this reason he wanted her out of his sight, just as some men are hateful enough to murder a woman after they have raped her.

Tamar realized and told Ammon that his hateful action in wanting to get rid of her was worse than his first evil (v.16). But he called his servant and told him to "put this woman out," and to bolt the door behind her. Then he was left to himself to face the bitter trauma of an accusing conscience.

But the anguish and shame of what Tamar had borne gave her grief and sorrow. She had to tear her beautiful robe with which the king's virgin daughters were clothed, put ashes on her head in token of humiliation and mourning, and went away crying bitterly. How tragically sad is the fact of the great number of young women who have been similarly humiliated by the cruelty of wicked men!

Absalom, her full brother, discerned immediately what had happened (v.20). He did not apparently show any anger. His character was more cold and calculating. He tried to quiet Tamar by telling her to forget it. But he himself did not intend to forget it, but to recompense Ammon in his own way.

David's soul is restored, his conscience is purified, and his heart is humbled; in spite of this the ways of God's government as they concern him must run their course. What Nathan had foretold: “The sword shall never depart from thy house … I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house … I will do this thing before all Israel and before the sun” — all this must be fulfilled without fail: David will undergo this necessary discipline with a broken heart.

The incident recorded in this chapter is loathsome. It was infamy in Israel (vv. 12-13). God's Word relates it because it is “the truth” and depicts man as he is in all his ugliness so that we may abhor his corruption. These terrible acts of immorality and violence are the doings of two of David's sons, Amnon and Absalom, who are far from God, the one as much as the other. A friend named Jonadab who is a cousin and a counselor is there on the scene urging Amnon onward in his miry path (vv. 4-5); this same man later knows of Absalom's plot but does nothing to oppose it (v. 32).

How short-lived and vain are the pleasures of sin! Scarcely are one's lips moistened at the rim of the cup but already one is tasting intolerable bitterness! “Amnon hated [Tamar] with an exceeding great hatred, for the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her” (v. 15). Immediately he abhors this poor unwilling victim of his infamous act. He judges everything except himself. Violent and crafty, Absalom avenges himself of his sister's dishonor by fratricide.

But there is more. Here in 2 Samuel 13 all David's good intentions and his desires for harmony among his children turn against him. Unwittingly he acts in a way contrary to what he should have done. Thus it is David in verse 7 who sends Tamar to Amnon's house. Later, when Absalom's plans for murder have ripened David initially tries to resist, thinking that should he yield to his son's request evil might be the result; but he finally yields, sending his other sons along in order to protect Amnon. All this probably does not indicate a very clear spiritual judgment.

Verse 39 shows us moreover that wicked Absalom was the son David cherished. “And king David longed to go forth to Absalom; for he was comforted concerning Amnon, seeing he was dead.” In the following chapter David is easily persuaded to allow Absalom to return to Jerusalem, and this decision is the immediate cause of all the disaster which follows. No doubt through this means God fulfills His purposes, but all these events afford us a serious lesson. When a believer falls by yielding to his own self-will, his soul even though it is restored loses a certain spiritual acuity. If he has come to despise or set little value on fellowship with the Lord it takes him a certain time to recover the spiritual intelligence that accompanies this fellowship. It is as though the fall had brought with it a cessation of spiritual growth.