And she said to him, No, my brother, do not humble me; for no such thing is done in Israel do not this infamy.
Tamar is alone with her half-brother Amnon. Her words are the last barrier between his desire and the deed. She appeals to three things at once: the standard of conduct in Israel, the shame she would carry, and the disgrace he would bring on himself. None of them stops him.
God had already passed sentence on David for his sin with Bathsheba. One writer shows that sentence being carried out here, in a crime that also broke a written command:
"Behold, I will raise up evil against you out of your own house." This was Jehovah's sentence, and it is now carried out. The evil he had nourished in his heart, the passion he had fed, now breaks out in his own family. Amnon means "faithful." That is what he should have been, but he is the very opposite. He grew up among scenes of license, as he must have done in David's house of many wives. So the lust of the flesh gets the upper hand, and he commits the awful deed — a clear breach of the law (Lev. 20:17).
Tamar calls the act something not done in Israel, and the Bible records it in full. A commentator explains why such a repulsive chapter belongs in a holy book:
The incident recorded in this chapter is loathsome. It was infamy in Israel (vv. 12-13). God's Word relates it because it is "the truth," and it shows man as he is in all his ugliness, so that we may hate his corruption.
Tamar also told him what the act would cost them both:
Tamar pleaded with him not to force her. She warned him that this would bring disgrace on his own head, and would cover with shame the one he thought he loved. Still he went through with his evil intentions. This too reminds us of David's virtually forcing Bathsheba, for he brought her to his own house, and since he was king she no doubt thought she could not resist him.
Tamar's reminder that "such a thing is not done" may itself have added fuel. One writer notes what a limit does to a will that nobody has ever restrained:
The fence around the thing he wanted was low enough to jump, and that may itself have encouraged him. A prohibition broken through has its own charm: "the fleeting pleasures of sin." "Stolen water is sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant. But he does not know that the dead are there, that her guests are in the depths of Sheol."
The same writer adds that Amnon drew his own lesson from his father's sin:
Amnon would only see that his father had sinned and had not suffered. He could not know that his own vices were to be the whip upon his father's sins.
The desire he refused to restrain did not last. It turned into its opposite:
How short-lived and empty are the pleasures of sin! Your lips have only touched the rim of the cup, and already you are tasting unbearable bitterness. "Then Amnon hated her with very great hatred, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her" (v. 15). At once he loathes this poor unwilling victim of his shameful act. He judges everything except himself.
Tamar begged him not to do this outrageous thing. One writer shows where that outrage ended for two of David's sons:
This truth found clear confirmation among his own brothers, especially those two who did sin and folly in Israel. They came to an end that was both violent and disgraceful to themselves, and full of anguish to his father and theirs.
- Sentence. The crime in David's own house is the carrying out of the word spoken to him: evil raised up out of his own household.
- Standard. Tamar's protest was no private opinion. The act broke the law, and Scripture records the whole ugly story so that we may hate such corruption.
- Fence. The limit Tamar named only sharpened his appetite. A prohibition broken through has its own charm — and it hides the dead in the depths.
- Example. A father's sin left its mark on the son. Amnon saw only that David had sinned and had not suffered. He never guessed that his own vices would be the whip on his father's back.
- Harvest. The pleasure lasted moments, then turned to hatred greater than the love. Both sons who did folly in Israel came to a violent end, and left their father in anguish.
And I, whither shall I carry my reproach? and thou wouldest be as one of the infamous in Israel. And now, I pray thee, speak to the king; for he will not withhold me from thee.
Amnon has trapped his half sister Tamar in his room, and she answers his violence with reason. She names what the act would cost her, what it would make him, and points him to their father the king — and he refuses to listen.
Her words "such a thing is not done in Israel" put a public label on a private act. One writer explains why the Bible preserves such an ugly record at all.
The incident recorded in this chapter is loathsome. It was infamy in Israel (vv. 12-13). God's Word relates it because it is "the truth" and depicts man as he is in all his ugliness so that we may abhor his corruption.
Tamar tells him what the deed would make of him : one of the outrageous fools in Israel. His name meant the opposite of what he became, and the law had already condemned the act.
Amnon means "faithful." That is what he should have been, but he is the very opposite. He was brought up in the middle of scenes of loose living, as it must have been in David's harem. The lust of the flesh gets the upper hand, and he commits the awful deed — a clear breaking of the law (Lev. 20:17).
She pleaded not only for herself. Her warning covered them both, and Amnon answered it with force.
Tamar pleaded earnestly with him not to force her. She warned him that this would bring disgrace upon his own head, and would also cover with shame the one he thought he loved. Still he went through with his evil intentions. This reminds us too of how David in effect forced Bathsheba. He brought her to his own house, and since he was king she no doubt thought she could not resist him.
Tamar appeals to what is done and not done in Israel. But Amnon had watched his own father sin and, as far as he could see, go unpunished.
Sin gathers its arguments at will, and refuses whatever does not serve its purpose… Amnon would only see that his father had sinned, and had not suffered. He could not know that his own vices were to be the scourge upon his father's sins.
Her last argument points away from the room to her father's authority: she is sure the king will not refuse her. Yet the law itself stood against such a union (Lev. 20:17), and David's own past had weakened his house.
A king's court is no refuge, no safeguard. The king may be angry, but it does no good: has he not himself brought in this shadow of unpunished wrong that now pursues him? Did he not do the first dishonour to his home, and dig through its wall with his own hands?
Tamar had told him the act would leave her carrying shame. What followed showed that the shame landed on her by his own doing, and that what he called love collapsed instantly.
How short-lived and empty are the pleasures of sin! The lips have barely touched the rim of the cup and already one is tasting unbearable bitterness! "Then Amnon hated her with very great hatred, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her" (v. 15). At once he despises this poor unwilling victim of his shameful act. He judges everything except himself.
- Named. Tamar calls the act by its right name: infamy in Israel. Scripture records the whole ugly scene so that we will hate the corruption it shows.
- Warned. Her plea covered him as much as her: disgrace on his own head, and shame on the woman he claimed to love.
- Learned. Amnon grew up amid loose living, and he saw a father sin and seem to escape. Sin finds its arguments where it wants them.
- Refused. She pointed him to the king. But the king's court was no safeguard: David had already dishonoured his own house with his own hands.
- Reaped. His love turned at once into a hatred greater than the love had been. He judged everything except himself, and the bitterness came before the cup was drained.