What is the difference betweensubmitandobey?

Here is a difference between submission and obedience, and it is well, before entering upon the subject of our chapter, to be clear about it.

Submitting myself to another, means, my accepting and taking a subordinate place under another person's lawful authority over me. Obedience means my behaving and acting according to that place, no matter, whether I am in it by my own choice, or through necessity (by birth, etc.,) by submitting my will to the will of the one, who is in the place of authority over me Submission and obedience, in a natural sense, are not necessarily identical. There may be an outward submission without real obedience. In the Christian sense, both are a matter of the heart as being done to the Lord. "The principle of submission and of obedience," as another has said, "is the healing principle of humanity; only God must be brought into it, in order that the will of man may not be the guide after all. But the principle that governs the heart of man in good, is always and everywhere obedience."

Now, before proceeding, we may just notice, that although the words that head this chapter, refer to all those who are in a subordinate relationship, i.e., wives, children and servants, yet the word "submitting," in our chapter, as well in the other passages of the New Testament, is only applied to wives, but not to children nor servants. The reason is clear. Children, as being born in the subordinate place, and servants, or rather slaves (for in those times, hired servants were unknown) being in the same place either by birth, or purchase, or as prisoners of war, could not be enjoined to accept or take that place, in submitting themselves to their superiors — parents or masters, — because they were already in that place, independently of their own consent. Therefore they are in our chapter exhorted to obey their superiors. It is not so with wives. They have become so by their own free consent; and knowing beforehand the character and relative duties of their place. Therefore they are told to "submit" themselves to their own husbands, and reverence them, according to the place, upon which they have entered with their own full and free consent, as before the Lord, and according to His will, Who has thus united them. Children and servants (or slaves), therefore, are told to obey, whilst submission — and submissiveness — is enjoined upon the wives.

Come now to the anti-type, and we find that God raised Christ from the dead, and set Him over all, Christ personally; but is Christ to be alone? That is where the counsel of God comes in regard to the church. For the church, composed as it is of all believers in this present dispensation is to be with Him in His place of dignity and glory — even as Eve was given to Adam — to be His partner in His greatness In Ephesians 5, we find that the model, the example, is set before us of marriage; in Ephesians 5:22, we read, "Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord." It is often commented upon that it does not say, "Wives obey your husbands" as though they were children or servants. In Ephesians 6 you have "Children obey your parents" that is a question of authority, and rightly so, and then in Ephesians 5, "Servants be obedient to your masters" comes in again; but with the wives — "Submit yourselves unto your own husbands." In this chapter the husband is looked at as being the representative of the fulness and authority of God for his wife; all that Christ is to the church the husband should be to the wife. We are obliged to think of these things in a somewhat abstract way, for what husband is there amongst us but must feel how far he comes short of it. But the wife is to submit herself to her own husband as unto the Lord, finding in the husband the one who directs and leads. It is not a question of obeying exactly, but the husband regards the wife as given to him of God to be his helpmeet in the partnership; and that loving her as Christ loves the Assembly he may be the supplier of all that the wife needs; giving guidance, direction and help, in every matter; the wife meanwhile submitting herself unto her husband as unto the Lord.

In the 5th chapter of Ephesians, we find that the model, the example, is set before us of marriage; in Ephesians 5:22, we read, "Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord." It is often commented upon that it does not say, "Wives obey your husbands" as though they were children or servants. In Ephesians 6 you have "Children obey your parents" that is a question of authority, and rightly so; and then in the 5th chapter, "Servants be obedient to your masters" comes in again; but with the wives — "Submit yourselves unto your own husbands." In this chapter the husband is looked at as being the representative of the fulness and authority of God for his wife; all that Christ is to the church the husband should be to the wife. We are obliged to think of these things in a somewhat abstract way, for what husband is there amongst us but must feel how far he comes short of it. But the wife is to submit herself to her own husband as unto the Lord, finding in the husband the one who directs and leads. It is not a question of obeying exactly, but the husband regards the wife as given to him of God to be his helpmeet in the partnership; and that loving her as Christ loves the Assembly he may be the supplier of all that the wife needs; giving guidance, direction and help, in every matter; the wife meanwhile submitting herself unto her husband as unto the Lord.

Obedience may be the bowing of the intellect honest, intelligent to abstract truth; it may be the proud assertion of right in one who sees error and truth, to forsake the one and to bow to the other. True obedience is the result of subjection to God - it is meek and holy, and therefore free from that offensive independent bearing which is so frequently met with, and which is so sad and grievous to the Spirit.

The truth is that the new theory which claims that "sonship" denotes subjection confuses the scriptural distinction between "son" and "servant." Subjection is a feature which is essential to the character of a servant, but exceptional and voluntary in the case of a son. A son may consent to become a servant, but a servant cannot elevate himself to become a son. When the son obeys, his obedience is that of a son, and not of a servant.

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in everything." (Eph. 5:22-24.) It will be seen from this Scripture that the position of the wife is one of subjection. We say "position," because, as the careful reader will perceive, the exhortation is based upon the character of the relationship. The wife is indeed enjoined to obedience, but it is on the ground of the place she occupies. This has been somewhat obscured by the insertion of a word or two in the translation. We read, "As the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be," etc.; but omit the word "let," which, as the italics indicate, has been introduced, and we have then a simple statement of fact: "As the church is subject unto Christ, so also the wives to their own husbands in everything." It is important to notice this, because the obedience, which is here enjoined upon the wife, is then seen to be that which should flow out of the position in which she is set — the natural fruit of the relationship. In other words, obedience to her husband is not left to the choice of the wife, but is to be rendered because of her relative place. It is this fact the Spirit of God brings before our notice.

(1.) The law, then, of the wife is her husband's will; or rather she is put in the place of subjection to his authority. There would seem to be one limitation to this statement, indicated by the words which are found in Colossians, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord." (Col. 3:18.) If therefore the will of the husband should interfere with the wife's individual responsibility to the Lord — come into conflict with the Lord's will as expressed in His word — if the alternative be forced upon her of obedience to her husband or disobedience to the Lord, then the Lord must have the supreme claim. With this solitary exception her submission to her husband must be complete. "As the church is subject unto Christ, so also the wives to their own husbands in everything." There cannot thus be any allowed exception apart from the one named.

To a believing woman there is one authority from which there is no appeal. Hence the apostle brings the Lord Himself before the wife in the matter of her submission in her married relationship. She must submit to her own husband “as to the Lord.”

The Lord Jesus is the pattern to all His own of that perfect obedience which is well-pleasing to God. “Though He were a Son, yet learned He obedience by the things which He suffered.” Though continually accompanied by sorrow and suffering in the course of His subjection, it was a joy to Him to obey. Our Lord ever delighted to do the will of Him Who sent Him. Love to His Father was the mainspring of everything He did as the obedient Servant. In like manner, the believing wife should in her love, devotedly fulfil the “law” of her husband.

But the injunction here is coupled with the name of the Lord, not so much as the pattern of obedience, as the One from Whom her husband's authority is derived. She is to submit to her husband “as to the Lord.” She is exhorted to recognize the Lord Jesus behind her husband as the directing, governing authority in family life. As the “head of the woman is the man,” so the Head of every man is Christ (1 Cor. 11:3). Thus the godly decisions of the husband will express the will of the Lord for her, and to these she will render obedience with all readiness and cheerfulness. “As the church is subject to Christ”, so will the devout Christian wife be subject to her own husband in everything (verse 24).

Nevertheless, He submitted to those who stood to Him in the relationship of parents, until God called Him to His own proper service. He acted as from God, as superior to the obligation. The Christian, in like manner, by his union with Christ is superior to his obligations, inasmuch as he has with God a new relationship beyond nature; but he recognises this obligation according to the intelligence which this new relationship gives to him, and the consequence is that He is infinitely more obedient, because he obeys as from God. But it is impossible that I do evil as from God, or that I prefer anything before the authority of Christ. I am made more subject according to the perfection of God in Christ; and likewise by the introduction of the new man, the strength of the obligation is maintained, but according to God. In order to act as Christ did in the world, we need spiritual discernment. God cannot deny the obligations which He has created; but if I act in these relationships, as being from above and not from below, I shall obey with all my heart, but in a superior position, which does not allow of the evil into which I might be drawn by those with whom I am in this relationship, because I could not do evil "in the Lord": it is a most simple principle.

In the preceding chapter I have entered fully into the difference between submission and obedience, and the meaning of the expression: "in the fear of Christ." And I can but trust and pray to God, that those few remarks I have ventured to offer, however imperfect, may have been according to the Lord's mind, and profitable to the souls of my readers and to my own. For that verse (21) forms the true threshold for entering upon our meditations on our Christian family relationships. They can only be profitable if we enter upon them with a mind hallowed and impressed by those words: "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of Christ."

The first word, that follows after "wives" in both the above passages of scripture, is "submit." It is the same in the Epistle of the Apostle Peter. Those two words thus closely connected by the Spirit, express the mind and will of God as to the "wives" character and position. Subjection and submissiveness, indeed, form the character of every truly godly woman, especially of those in the sacred and blessed relationship of marriage. As I have spoken extensively on the meaning of the word: submission, and the difference between submission and obedience, I only say once more, that, though submission and not obedience, is given in Eph. and Col. as the prominent Christian feature of the wives, from the reasons already mentioned, yet obedience forms no less an essential part of the Divinely required demeanour and character of the Christian "wife," as we shall see presently in the passage from 1 Peter 3 previously alluded to. How, indeed, could any contrary thought be admitted into the mind of any, with the words of that solemn sentence of the Lord God, to which we have just listened, still ringing in our ears, as it were.

But the submission thus solemnly enjoined is not the blind mechanical obedience of a slave to the owner, such, for instance, as that of an Israelite to an Egyptian taskmaster. Rather is it the glad subjection which springs involuntarily from a passionate devotion to the loved one, a ready submission to the will of the beloved man, needing no compulsion, nor even prompting.