What does the Bible say marriage is?
Marriage is not a human invention that religion later blessed — Scripture presents it as God's own arrangement, set up in the garden before sin entered the world and reaffirmed by Christ Himself. It is at once the closest of natural ties and, in the New Testament, the chosen picture of Christ's love for the church.
God's Own Institution
Commentators start where the Bible starts: with God noticing that the man was alone and doing something about it. Marriage carries God's authority because it was His idea first.
William J HockingMarriage has the unique feature of being an institution established by God from the very beginning of human history. God's authority is therefore behind the prominent place it holds in man's social life. The first marriage was ordained in the Garden of Eden to increase Adam's comfort and complete his happiness.
Because it was given before the fall, marriage did not lose its character when humanity did. One writer traces how God kept guarding it through every later stage of Scripture.
C E StuartMarriage was God's provision for His creatures — instituted before the Fall; continued by God after it; upheld as inviolable by Him before the law (Gen. 12:17; 20:3); guarded by express commands under the law (Ex. 20:14, 17); its sanctity reaffirmed by the Lord (Matt. 19:3-9); and its honourable standing for all declared by New Testament revelation (Heb. 13:4).
Leaving, Clinging, One Flesh
Genesis 2:24 is the definition the rest of the Bible works from: a man leaves his parents, holds fast to his wife, and the two become one flesh. Writers note how much practical weight those few words carry.
Leslie M. GrantBecause of God's clear order in creation it was right that a man should leave his father and mother and cling to his wife. This verse settles many questions. First, when marriage takes place, the man (or woman) is no longer in the place of subjection to parents. Secondly, he clings to his wife — only one wife, so that bigamy and polygamy are absolutely unscriptural. Clinging to his wife involves genuine love for her, and faithfulness and devotedness.
A Bond Man Cannot Undo
When the Pharisees pressed Jesus about divorce, He went back past Moses to creation. Commentators read His words as settling both the origin and the durability of the tie.
Arend RemmersAccording to God's will marriage is indissoluble. The Lord Jesus says this clearly in Matthew 19:6: "What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate." This applies not only to marriages made "in the Lord," but to every marriage. Already in the Old Testament God had said to the Jews who divorced their wives, "For the LORD, the God of Israel, says that He hates divorce" (Mal. 2:16).
The concession Moses allowed is treated as a lower standard granted to hard hearts, not as God's mind. Writers point to one stated exception.
C E StuartThe former was a provision "for the hardness of their hearts"… The latter (Gen. 2:24) taught the sacredness and the real character of the tie. This was God's original institution. The tie, except for sexual immorality (Matt. 19:9), should be held inviolable.
Honourable — And "Only In The Lord"
Hebrews 13:4 is often quoted as if it simply approved every marriage. One writer reads it instead as a command about how the relationship is to be treated, and links it to the one limit placed on a Christian's choice.
The Bible TreasuryThe word of the Lord commands (Hebrews 13:4), "Let marriage be honourable in all things"… It is a solemn exhortation that nothing should be done in the relationship inconsistent with its holy and intimate character, as well as implying the honour due to the relationship in itself and in every way. For Christians 1 Corinthians 7:39 guards the limits of "will" with that one worthy principle, "only in the Lord." The immediate application is to a widow marrying again; but it would be absurd to restrict it to her, or to doubt that it applies equally to any Christian woman or man.
Some take that phrase further than choosing a fellow believer — it means the whole step is taken under the Lord's direction, "guided for their good to His glory."
Love And Submission Inside The Marriage
Ephesians 5 gives each partner a pattern rather than a bargain. The husband's standard is not what his wife deserves but what Christ gave.
William KellyThe wife and husband give occasion to a grand unfolding of Christ's love for the church as the model. He "loved the church and gave Himself up for it, that He might sanctify it"… Christ thus loved the church before He gave Himself up for it; and not content with this infinite self-surrender to sanctify it, He purifies after a divine fashion, as He will complete His love in the glorious outcome.
The submission asked of the wife is described in terms of affection, not force.
William J HockingThe submission solemnly commanded here is not the blind, mechanical obedience of a slave to an owner… Rather it is the glad subjection that springs naturally from a deep devotion to the loved one, a ready submission to the will of the beloved man, needing no compulsion, nor even prompting.
The Great Mystery
Behind every marriage stands something larger. Paul quotes Genesis 2:24 and then says he is speaking of Christ and the church — and one writer traces that thread across the whole Bible.
G. V. WigramOf special interest to me is the testimony of Scripture on this subject… that this union between husband and wife runs all through the Bible, a cord with one end in Genesis and the other in Revelation. When God purposed certain things, He had His Son before Him… When the people wanted to trap Him about divorce, He said, what did God do? Get back to God in creation.
Summary
- Origin — Marriage was instituted by God in Eden before sin entered, so its holiness comes from its Author, not from custom or law.
- Definition — Leaving parents, clinging to one partner, becoming one flesh: this rules out polygamy and puts the marriage bond above every other human tie.
- Permanence — What God joins, man cannot separate; Moses' allowance of divorce was a concession to hard hearts, with immorality named as the exception.
- Boundary — Marriage is to be held honourable in every respect, and for a believer the choice is limited by three words: "only in the Lord."
- Pattern — The husband's love is measured by Christ giving Himself for the church, the wife's submission by devotion rather than compulsion — because the whole relationship pictures Christ and the church, from Genesis to Revelation.