What does it mean to honor my father and mother?

(2.) We have another word in Ephesians — cited, it is true, from the law, but here reaffirmed as to its moral force — to express what is due from children to their parents. That word is "honour." "Honour thy father and mother." If obedience describes the responsibility of children as to conduct and action, "honour" expresses rather what should be their habitual feeling towards their parents. It is a peculiarly solemn word; for it is the same as that used by our blessed Lord when He says "that all men should honour the Son, even as they honour the Father. He that honoureth not the Son, honoureth not the Father which hath sent Him." (John 5:23.) In fact, it is a term descriptive of true filial piety; for to honour their parents children must not only acknowledge their position, and their right of parental control, but they must esteem and reverence them, as set in their place of authority by the Lord. Hence the child that honours his parents will love to pay them the outward expressions of homage and respect, will prize their counsels and instructions, obey them in their absence as in their presence, avoid everything that could give them pain or sorrow, rejoice to defer to their feelings and desires, and will in every possible way, by word, manner, and action, rejoice to accord to them that filial respect and attention which belong to the place to which they have been divinely appointed.

The subjection of children to their parents is part of God's order as seen in nature; and under the law a special blessing was attached to the observance of the commandment in which this duty was enjoined. Christianity takes up the obligation, but transplants it from natural to divine ground. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and thy mother; which is the first commandment with promise; that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth." (Eph. 6:1-3.) Thus the obligation of children, as of wives, is connected with "the Lord." It is not merely the dictate of nature, though perfectly right, but the acknowledgment of the Lord's claims as represented in the parents. The blessed Lord Himself, who "learned obedience," was the beautiful example of this. Of Him in His lifetime it is recorded that He went with His parents "to Nazareth, and was subject unto them." The law is not here introduced as showing that believers are under it, but as proving the special value which God attached to this duty, so as even to depart from the ordinary character of law, by coupling it with a promise which makes known the connection between this duty and earthly blessing.

The subjection of children to their parents is part of God's order as seen in nature; and under the law a special blessing was attached to the observance of the commandment in which this duty was enjoined. Christianity takes up the obligation, but transplants it from natural to divine ground. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and thy mother; which is the first commandment with promise; that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth." (Eph. 6:1‑3.) Thus the obligation of children, as of wives, is connected with "the Lord." It is not merely the dictate of nature, though perfectly right, but the acknowledgment of the Lord's claims as represented in the parents. The blessed Lord Himself, who "learned obedience," was the beautiful example of this. Of Him in His lifetime it is recorded that He went with His parents "to Nazareth, and was subject unto them." The law is not here introduced as showing that believers are under it, but as proving the special value which God attached to this duty, so as even to depart from the ordinary character of law, by coupling it with a promise which makes known the connection between this duty and earthly blessing.

The subjection of children to their parents is part of God's order as seen in nature; and under the law a special blessing was attached to the ohservance of the commandment in which this duty was enjoined. Christianity takes up the obligation, but transplants it from natural to divine ground. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and thy mother; which is the first commandment with promise; that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth." (Chap. 6:1-3.) Thus the obligation of children, as of wives, is connected with "the Lord." It is not merely the dictate of nature, though perfectly right, but the acknowledgment of the Lord's claims as represented in the parents. The blessed Lord Himself, who "learned obedience," was the beautiful example of this. Of Him in His lifetime it is recorded that He went with His parents "to Nazareth, and was subject unto them." The law is not here introduced as showing that believers are under it, but as proving the special value which God attached to this duty, so as even to depart from the ordinary character of law, by coupling it with a promise which makes known the connection between this duty and earthly blessing.

Children are next addressed. The instruction is simple and uncomplicated. They are to obey their parents in the Lord, that is, as subject to the Lord's authority. False educators today boldly undermine this parental authority, and it is leading to ruin, for it denies what is right before God. The relationship of children is typical of that of believers to God as their Father. If a believer should obey God, then a child should obey his parents. More still is involved in verse 2: the need for due respect is added. This verse is quoted from the ten commandments, not as putting children under law, but as showing the law's importance as an abiding governmental principle which brings temporal blessings as a result. For children are certainly to be subject to their parents, and this has much to do with their welfare on earth.

The last six commandments deal with Israel's responsibilities toward others. Thus the fifth commandment is "Honor your father and mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may be well with you in the land which the Lord your God is giving you" (v.16). Ephesians 6:1 refers to this as "the first commandment with promise." Israel soon sadly failed in this, as is exampled in Absalom, son of David, who rebelled against his father and sought to kill him (2 Sam.17:1-4). His days were not long on the earth. It may be that a father is hard and cruel, but his children are still to honor him; a mother may be even irresponsible, but her children are to honor her that is, to show proper respect. Though this is not a legal commandment for believers today, yet Ephesians 6:1 shows it to be of moral importance still. Our motives are not to be those of submitting to legal demands, but of delighting to please God.

Beloved "child of God!" your heavenly Father has given you earthly parents, to whom, next to God, you owe your life, and your health in body and mind, and your intellectual and bodily development and attainments, and thus a life-long debt of gratitude for years of their unwearied loving care and patience. Are you endeavouring under the grace of God, to repay to your parents at least some portion of that debt, which you never will be able to fully repay?

No attainment spiritually, intellectually or socially, can in the slightest degree dispense any Christian from the obligation to honour, in the fullest sense, parents, and those whose age and infirmities make claims upon our respect. Moses commanded, "Thou shalt rise up before the face of the old man." Are we stedfastly minded in this as in all else to act according to God's revealed will?

Hence the more earnest expostulation of verse 22, and from both sides. "Hearken to thy father that begot thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old." How sad to fail in reverence to parents, and especially to the one who had the chief care and love unfailing when the child most needed both! Oh! the shame of despising one's mother when she is old, and ought to have still more honour!

Hear the Lord's charge. God commanded, saying, "Honour thy father and mother: and, he that curses father or mother, let him die the death. But ye say, Whosoever shall say to his father or his mother, It is a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; and honour not his father or his mother, he shall be free. Thus have ye made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition" (Matt. 15:4-6). For a child to neglect his parents under appearance of devoting to God — in temple sacrifice, I presume, the priest bettering thereby what was due to them, was held to be all right. They had only to cry, "Corban," i.e., "It is a gift," and the parent might be forgotten. The Lord calls them "hypocrites," and quotes Isaiah's solemn verdict, "This people draws nigh to me with their mouth, and honours me with their lips; but their heart is far from me."