Ephesians 6:1–3

The subjection of children to their parents is part of God's order as seen in nature. Under the law, God attached a special blessing to keeping the commandment that required this duty. Christianity takes up the obligation, but transplants it from natural ground to divine ground... So the obligation of children, like that of wives, is tied to "the Lord." It is not just what nature dictates, though that is perfectly right. It is the acknowledgment of the Lord's claims as represented in the parents. The Lord Himself, who "learned obedience," was the beautiful example of this. It is recorded that in His life on earth He went with His parents to Nazareth and "was submissive to them."

Each of us acknowledges Christ as Lord, and we are to carry out the responsibilities of every relationship in the fear of the Lord. The wife is to be subject to her own husband "as to the Lord" (v. 22). Children are to obey their parents "in the Lord" (Ephesians 6:1). Fathers are to train their children in the "admonition of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4). Servants are to do "service as to the Lord" (Ephesians 6:7). And masters are to remember that they have a Master in heaven.

A Christian household runs easily where the young obey — above all, where they "obey in the Lord." Natural affection is sweet, and the lack of it is a sign of the dangerous last days. But it is not enough. Conscience is not enough either. It matters greatly in its place, but it is not an adequate guard, and it cannot be a spring of power. The Lord is. And how blessed it is when duty is clothed with Him and absorbed in Him!

Obedience is urged on two grounds. First, "For this is right" (Eph. 6:1). That is, God declares that obedience is a righteous thing for children to give their parents. It suits the place of a parent to command, and the place of a child to obey.

Even a little acquaintance with life shows that the first step in a downward career has often begun with disobedience to parents. Write the histories of all the poor prodigal sons and daughters who are now trying to satisfy their hunger with the "pods that the pigs ate." You will find that the root of all their misery goes back to self-will and refusal to submit in their father's home.

It is of the first importance to notice that children are set in direct personal responsibility to the Lord. They are placed under parental authority. At the same time they are under responsibility to Christ, and so they are to obey "in the Lord." This at once defines both the character and the limit of their duty. The commands of the parent, when rightly given, have God's authority behind them, so the child obeys not only the parent but also the Lord. On the other hand, no command could be binding if the child could not obey it in the Lord.

There may be very unusual circumstances in which a parent asks a child to do something morally wrong — stealing, cheating, or worshipping an idol. This would be a plain exception. In that case the child should refuse to obey the parent, firmly but without defiance. Ephesians 6:1 reads, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord." So the child should always obey unless he is told to disobey the Lord.

Obedience describes what children owe in conduct and action. "Honour" expresses something else — the settled feeling they should carry towards their parents. It is an unusually solemn word. It is the same word our blessed Lord uses when He says, "that all may honor the Son, just as they honor the Father. Whoever does not honor the Son does not honor the Father who sent Him." (John 5:23.) … To honour their parents, children must not only accept their position and their right to control them. They must also value and deeply respect them, as those the Lord has set in their place of authority.

Children being subject to their parents is part of God's order as seen in nature. Under the law God attached a special blessing to keeping the commandment that laid down this duty. Christianity takes up the obligation, but moves it from natural to divine ground… So the duty of children, like that of wives, is tied to "the Lord." It is not merely what nature dictates, though nature is perfectly right here. It is the recognition of the Lord's claims, as represented in the parents. The Lord Himself, who "learned obedience," was the beautiful example of this. Scripture records that in His lifetime He went with His parents to Nazareth and "was submissive to them."… The law appears here not to show that believers are under it, but to prove the special value God attached to this duty. He even stepped outside the ordinary character of law by joining a promise to it — a promise that shows the link between this duty and earthly blessing.

A father may be hard and cruel, but his children are still to honor him. A mother may even be irresponsible, but her children are to honor her — that is, to show proper respect. This is not a legal commandment for believers today, yet Ephesians 6:1 shows it still carries moral weight. Our motive is not to submit to legal demands, but to delight in pleasing God.

The command to honour father and mother was the first commandment with promise, as the apostle says when writing to the Ephesians. Other commandments had the threat of death attached to them. This one carried the promise of long life on the earth. The apostle's reasoning is this: if a Jewish child was not only bound, but encouraged by such a promise, to deeply respect his parents, how much more should a Christian child obey them — not merely in the law, but in the Lord.

There is no real difficulty about the force and limits of this command. The relationship it deals with belongs to this life, and so does the promise. What the land was to the Israelite by natural descent, the word of grace now is to those who share in the heavenly calling. For them, godliness holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come (1 Tim 4:8).

There is no doubt a government of God going on through all the present time, and in it these things are fulfilled in a measure… As Christians, they may be taken from the earth when, simply as obedient children, they would have been kept on it. But the Christian's loss is gain, as we know.

The penalty announced against the "stubborn and rebellious son," who would not "obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother," may seem very severe to us. But it shows how much importance God puts on this fifth commandment. If everyone kept it faithfully, there would be very little breaking of the five commandments that follow it.

Children being subject to their parents is part of God's order as seen in nature. Under the law, God attached a special blessing to keeping the commandment that laid down this duty. Christianity takes up the obligation, but moves it from natural ground to divine ground... The law is not brought in here to show that believers are under it. It is brought in to prove how much value God placed on this duty. He even stepped outside the ordinary character of law by joining the command to a promise, and that promise shows the link between this duty and earthly blessing.

If that is how God valued a child's honour for his parents under law, is it worth less now — now that the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ makes His nature known and calls us into the relationship of sons to Himself? Respect for that old word met with His approval and reward in the righteous government of God. He watched over and prospered those who honoured their parents. So did His revelation of Himself in grace loosen the obligation for His children? Did it make the love that prompts and sustains such honour less precious in His own eyes now?

The apostle quotes the commandment along with the promise God attached to it in the Old Testament. He does not quote it as something absolutely true for the present time, but to show how important God held it to be... The promise reads "that it may go well with you and that you may live long on the earth" — or "in the land," which the connection would rather suggest. There is no doubt a government of God going on all through the present time, and in it these things have a measure of fulfilment... As Christians, they may be taken from the earth when, simply as obedient children, they would have been kept on it; but the Christian's loss is gain.

Paul refers to this promise, which has often been a difficulty to some, as though temporal promises now belonged to a certain line of conduct. The citation only shows us how much God valued obedience under the law. However, I believe there is a blessing belonging to obedience to parents. But in the order of the government of God, in the ways of God with us personally in this world, there are important things which modify this.

There is no real difficulty about the force and limits of this command. The relationship it deals with belongs to this life, and so does the promise. What the land was to the Israelite by natural descent, the word of grace now is to the one who shares the heavenly calling. For such a person, godliness holds a promise for the life that is now, as well as for the life to come. It is well with us, and we know and enjoy the Father's favour, as long as we are walking as obedient children in His light.

Israel soon failed badly here. Absalom, son of David, rebelled against his father and tried to kill him, and his days were not long on the earth. A father may be hard and cruel, but his children are still to honour him. A mother may even be irresponsible, but her children are to honour her — that is, to show proper respect... Our motives are not to be those of submitting to legal demands, but of delighting to please God.