What does it mean to esteem others better than yourself (Philippians 2:3)?

To escape this danger, how needful the exhortation that, "in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves." We can only carry out this exhortation as we look away from ourselves and our own good qualities to those of others. The passage is not speaking of gifts, but the moral qualities that should mark all saints. Moreover, it contemplates saints living in a right moral condition. If a brother is going on with evil, I am not exhorted to esteem him more highly than myself if I am living rightly. But amongst saints living a right, normal Christian life it is easy for each of us to esteem others better than ourselves, if we are near to the Lord; for in His presence, however correct the outward life before others, we discover the hidden evils of the flesh, and see how many are our defects, and what poor things we are before Him, and in comparison with Him. Looking at our brother, we cannot see the hidden defects, but rather the good qualities that the grace of Christ has given him. This surely would keep us humble and enable us each to "esteem other better than themselves"; and we should be delivered from a spirit of vainglory that leads to strife and breaks up the unity of the saints. It is evident, then, that true unity amongst the Lord's people is not brought about by any compromise at the expense of truth, but by each one being in a right moral condition before the Lord, set forth by the lowly mind.

(Vv. 5-8). To produce this lowly mind, the Apostle directs our gaze to Christ, as he says, "Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus." He then gives a beautiful picture of the lowly mind set forth in Christ as He took the path from the glory of the Godhead to the shame of the cross. Thus Christ is set before us in all His lowly grace as our perfect Pattern. If the flock is following the Shepherd, the eyes of the sheep will be upon Him, and it is only as we are each looking to Him that unity will be maintained in the flock. The nearer we are to Christ the nearer we shall be drawn to one another.

In Christ we see set forth the lovely traits of One Who in perfection had the lowly mind, manifested in His setting aside every thought of self, and taking the path of the servant, and becoming obedient to death. In tracing this path, the Apostle shows us not only each downward step, but the mind in which Christ took this path — the lowly mind. It is not possible to follow all His steps, for we were never in the height from which He came, nor are we asked to travel into the depths that He went, but we are exhorted to have His mind in taking these steps.

He adds further, "Considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted." This would justly be before the mind's eye of a spiritual man. He has the deepest sense of his own weakness; and hence would he most readily esteem others better than himself. How is that? Not of course that he who has made progress in the ways of God is to count a babe's knowledge greater than his own. Not that there are not, on the one hand, in the Church, those who are least esteemed, and on the other, men of tried and spiritual judgment. Not that we are to suppose all alike wise, strong, and honourable. This would be not faith, but fanaticism, and contrary to every right thought. In what sense then are we to esteem "others better than ourselves?" When a soul that is in any measure spiritual, thinks of himself, what he feels is his immense falling short of Christ. He has habitually before him how greatly he fails, even of that which he desires in his ways before God. But when he looks at his brother-christian, let him be the feeblest possible, and sees him as a beloved one of Christ, in full acceptance in, and the object of, the Father's tender affections, this draws out both love and self-loathing! Thus, if grace be at work, what is Christ-like in another saint rises at once before the heart, and what is unlike Christ in himself. So that it is not a question of striving to cultivate high feelings about one's neighbours, and to think them what they are not, but really believing what is true about them, and feeling rightly about ourselves too. If one thinks of what a saint is in Christ and to Christ, and what he will be through Christ, then one's heart takes in the wonder of His love, and how much the Lord makes of him: but when the eye is turned to oneself, all the unworthy ways and feelings and shortcomings come up in humiliating remembrance. So, in considering "thyself, lest thou also be tempted," with this difference, that it is not so much looking at what we have been, as at what we have to fear and watch against.

Then he goes on to shew the principles on which it is founded. "In lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves." It is a kind of impossibility if you look at it in one way; for if you are better than I, it is evident I cannot be better than you. But when the heart is thoroughly lowly, walking with Christ, and delighting in Christ, he thinks himself a poor creature with nothing but the grace of Christ to think of, and never sees anything but defects in himself; all the grace he sees in Christ; and, seeing this grace, even if he is using it, he feels what a poor instrument he is, the flesh hindering and spoiling the vessel, and not letting the light shine out.

How is the spirit of opposition and self-exaltation to be overcome? "In lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves." What a blessed thought! and how evidently divine! How could strife or vainglory exist along with it? When one thinks of self, God would have one to feel our own amazing shortcomings. To have such sweet and heavenly privileges in Christ, to be loved by Him, and yet to make such paltry returns as even our hearts know to be altogether unworthy of Him, is our bitter experience as to ourselves. Whereas when we look at another, we can readily feel not only how blessedly Christ is for him, and how faithful is His goodness, but love leads us to cover failings, to see and keep before us that which is lovely and of good report in the saints — if there be any virtue and if there be any praise, to think on these things. This appears to lie at the root of the exhortation, and it is evident that it thus becomes a simple and happy duty. "In lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves."

There is necessarily much involved in this. "Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory." The evil tendencies of our own hearts must be honestly judged. Striving to gain a point is not godliness, but is closely related to vainglory, which is merely seeking our own exaltation in the face of the actual fact that we are entitled to nothing but the lowest place. All such pretension is empty as wind. "But in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves." This is not so difficult if we observe ourselves honestly, for we surely know the evil propensities, motives and failures of our own hearts better than we do those of others. Can we then dare to consider ourselves better than they? It is one of the perverse characteristics of our hearts to strongly denounce another for a certain fault while closing our eyes to the many things in ourselves that we know are evil. In reference to our own shortcomings we are all too quick to plead extenuating circumstances. But we ought never to excuse ourselves on such grounds, though it is our wisdom to make allowances for others in considering their circumstances.

Verse 4 takes us yet a step further: "Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others." This is simply a very real concern for the well-being of others, a happy characteristic of Christianity in a world so entirely selfish. We cannot however suppose that all Christians are characteristically Christian in the practice of this virtue. Indeed, Paul in this very chapter, in commending Timothy, laments, "I have no man like-minded, who will naturally care for your state.

442 In chapter 2 you do not get Christ in glory as the one he is running after; not Christ gone up, but Christ coming down. One whom I am to be like in this, the graciousness of the walk that He displayed; and that is always going - down - going from the form of Godhead down to death. Where do I find what God is fully displayed - righteousness and love perfectly displayed? In death. It is a wonderful riddle that has come out, the Holy One going down - the Prince of Life going into death. We never completely learn, till we see it there - the things that the angels desire to look into. No one knows the Son but the Father. We know the Father, but no one knows the Son; the divinity of Christ is maintained by the inscrutability of the incarnation: God becoming a man - that is unfathomable - and the meekest, lowliest man that ever walked this earth. Paul is taking up the truth of lowliness, etc., but the moment he begins he must bring out Christ. The motive of all exhortations is nothing less than the whole scope of Christianity. God come down and bringing salvation, and gone back again as man. Take the commonest exhortations, the spring and motive is nothing short of obedience to the word of God Himself. Eating and drinking even is sanctified by the word of God and prayer. I am merely eating like a beast if it is not. He exhorts them to walk in lowliness and love (there had been some little squabbling, I suppose, among them). These Philippians had been sending help to the apostle from a long way off, and he will not reproach them, but says, Now I see how you love me; I see how you care for me and my being happy. Now, if you want to make me perfectly happy, walk in love among yourselves. It is a reproach so delicately brought in that their hearts could not resist it. "And let each esteem other better than themselves." It sounds unpractical and impossible; but if I think of myself with the mind of God, I see the evil, the sin in myself. If I think of another, and I am full of Christ, I shall see all the value of Christ upon him, I shall see with Christ's heart, and I can esteem him better than myself, for I see evil in myself, and I see Christ in him. "Let this mind be in you," etc., that is, the spirit in which Christ was, always going down; first, being in the form of Godhead, and in the glory, He takes the place of a man, and then He humbles Himself again to death. He is the first grand example of "He that humbleth himself shall be exalted," and that is what we have to do - go down.

But notice what is connected with ‘lowly-mindedness’. ‘In lowly-mindedness esteeming one another more excellent than themselves.’ If we have truly learned ourselves in the presence of our Saviour, then we will be the more ready to obey this injunction. Nor are such thoughts limited to the plural. ‘I am holier than thou’ (Isa. 65:5) is in the singular. Our tongues may not utter such words, but our thoughts may tell us, ‘I am more spiritual than that person.’ ‘I spend more time over the Word and in prayer than Brother Blank.’ And so it goes: for we each know the plague of our own hearts. I think it was Spurgeon who said: ‘There is pride of face, pride of place, and pride of race, but the worst pride of all, is pride of grace.’ But not only are we not to esteem ourselves as better than others: but we are to esteem others as better than ourselves: and we will, if close enough to Christ; and if we see ourselves, the person we know best, in the light of His holiness and love.

And now we come to two other exhortations that also hit most of us very hard: ‘Not each having the eye on the interests of themselves, but each on the interests of others also.’ In our ordinary English Bible we read: ‘Look not every man on his own things’, etc. The word translated ‘look’ does have this meaning, but it is not the ordinary word for ‘look’; it comes from a word meaning a mark on which to fix the eye. In the third chapter of our epistle we get the word itself translated ‘mark’ (v. 14). We find the same word as in verse 4 also in 2 Corinthians 4:18, which Mr Kelly excellently translates: ‘While we have the eye, not on the things that are seen, etc.’ So we have used the same translation here; and I hope it brings home to us more forcibly the urgency of this exhortation.

In the Greek New Testament there is no word for ‘interests’ in either place: only the article ‘the’, in the plural; and we have to fill in what the Spirit means us to understand: and that may have a very wide application. The Authorised Version uses ‘things’. Mr Darby uses ‘qualities’ or, in a note, ‘advantages’. I suppose the word ‘interests’ means the things that interest us. We sometimes see: ‘A mind at leisure from itself, to soothe and sympathise’. What a lovely sight it is, and how refreshing to find one who is so free from looking at his own interests, that he can regard and care for the interests of others. How it warms the heart and draws us close together. But, sad to say, most of us are too busy with our own affairs to have very much regard for the interests of others. ‘Each’ in both places is plural. May the Lord Himself teach us these blessed truths we have just been pondering. ‘The more we cleave to Christ, and are taught of the Spirit, the more shall we be of one mind in the Lord, not agreeing after the fashion of men, but taught by the one Book, we shall grow into oneness of mind and judgment in all things. This is the way to bring about true unity, ‘and if in anything ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you’ (3:15)’.

But notice what is connected with "lowly-mindedness." "In lowly-mindedness esteeming one another more excellent than themselves." If we have truly learned ourselves in the presence of our Saviour, then we will be the more ready to obey this injunction. And let us remember that "one another" is plural. Do we ever think, even though the words may not pass our lips, "How glad I am the meeting where I go is more separate than that group of Christians over there." "Those to whom I belong are better taught in the Word than so-and-so." "We would not do the kind of things those people do." Is this esteeming one another more excellent than themselves? What is this but party-spirit? What is it but sectarianism? And pride linked with party-spirit.

The true way which becomes the followers of the Lord Jesus Christ, who live by Him and for Him, is to esteem the other better than himself in lowliness of mind, regarding not each his own things (or qualities) but each the things of others also. To walk in such a manner is only possible with those who have received, by being born again, a new nature and walk in the power of the Spirit of God. To be utterly forgetful of self, complete self effacement and self-denial and thus the absence of strife and vainglory and the manifestation of true humility, is the manifestation of the mind of Christ. But is it possible at all times to esteem each other better than himself?

We let another answer: "There will be no difficulty in this if we are really walking before God; we shall be occupied with each other's good, and the one will esteem the other better than himself, because when the soul is really before the Lord, it will see its own short-comings and imperfections, and will be in self-judgment; and according to the love and spirit of Christ see all the good that is from Him in a brother and one dear to Him, and will therefore look upon his fellow-Christian as better than himself, and so all would be in beautiful harmony; and we should be looking after each other's interests too"--(J.N. Darby, Philippians). How true it is, love likes to be a servant; selfishness likes to be served.

Honour, love and obey those who have the rule over you in spiritual matters, and shun the democratic spirit abroad which says, 'I am as good as another.' The truth is neither you nor I are as good as another. We ought to see the good in others and the evil in ourselves, and that is how we can esteem others better than ourselves (Phil. 2:3).