What does it mean to dress modestly?

Neglect of dress, or even of adornment, is not directed; on the other hand, attention is to be paid to it, but according to the word of God. Thus Paul says that women should adorn themselves in modest apparel; i.e. as the word might otherwise be given, "moderate," "well-ordered" dress. It is to be of the kind befitting the "meek and quiet spirit," so that there may be congruity between the dress and the character. Ornaments likewise are permitted; but they are to be made, not of gold or pearls, but of good works, "as becometh women professing godliness." All the Scriptures bearing upon this subject demand the prayerful consideration of all Christian wives; and the results would surely be to the Lord's glory in a more distinct outward testimony to the place of rejection (in fellowship with the sufferings of Christ), and of separation into which we have been called by the grace of our God.

And let her guard against mere outward adornment. No doubt it was common then, as It is now, that women would draw attention to themselves by branding ornaments into their hair, wearing of expensive clothing and jewelry. Certainly it is no virtue to wear slovenly or careless dress; but neither Is showy attire becoming. Generally speaking, one should be desirous of wearing what will not draw undue attention. For it is pride that desires attention, whatever direction it may take.But much more precious than outward show, there is an adornment the opposite of this, connected with the inner motives of the heart, the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit. In this is real and eternal value, no corruptibility, and of great price in the sight of God. How infinitely more precious is this then the pretty baubles that may for the moment dazzle people's eyes!

Mary: I can see now that our motive should be to please the Lord and to live according to the peculiar character of the position we occupy as being no longer of the world. And I certainly must learn to ask myself the question — Am I dressing to please myself or my Lord? Is my heart set on the vanities, of life like the world, or am I testifying to my heavenly position in Christ? But are there no Scriptures which give us plain direction on this subject?

Mr. Grim: Oh, yes; only many Christians contrive to overlook them. They speak too plainly for most people. In 1 Tim. 2:9-10, it says, “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broidered hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; but (which becomes women professing godliness) with good works.” And in 1 Peter 3:3-4, “Whose adorning, let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit which is in the sight of God of great price.”

Mr. P.: The principle taught in these verses is very beautiful as well as helpful. Women are to be seen in modest apparel. This is certainly opposed to tawdriness and finery. The believer's dress should never bring into prominence either by its oddity or by its gaiety. As to gold and pearls, they are but seldom necessary articles of wear, and are mostly worn to attract attention or to set off the person. Costly array supposes that the same end is in view. Therefore these things should never characterise a Christian. In short, dress should ever be reckoned a necessity not an object of life. And just as gluttony and drunkenness are sinful abuses of eating and drinking, so vanity of dress is a sinful abuse of that which is necessary for decency and propriety.

Though the man is responsible to take the public place in regard to speaking on behalf of God, the emphasis as regards the woman is rather upon her deportment as before the eyes of others. The man is to have the spirit of subjection in the manner of his praying: in like manner the woman is to have the spirit of subjection in her silent, lowly conduct of godliness. Decent deportment is to be coupled with decent dress: nothing should be ostentatious in one way or the other. The unseemly drawing of attention by means of costly attire, jewelry and gold, is far from reflecting the character of her Lord and Master. Equally offensive of course would be a slovenly, careless deportment, for this has its roots in the same pride and self-will as does the other. The details of dress, etc., would surely be easily and rightly adjusted where faith and godliness are in true exercise, as opposed to the common self­will and self-expression of our day. But positive "good works" stand over against the negatives that are to be avoided.

(V. 9). The women are to be marked by “decent deportment and dress” (N.T.). This better translation clearly indicates that not only in dress but in their general bearing women should be marked by modesty that shrinks from all impropriety, and “discretion” that leads to care in their words and ways. They are to beware of using the hair that God has given as the woman's glory for an expression of the natural vanity of the human heart. Women are not to seek to call attention to themselves by arraying themselves in “gold, or pearls, or costly clothing”. Again, women do well to remember that they may obey this Scripture in the letter and yet miss the spirit of it by affecting some peculiar garb, thus calling attention to themselves.

"In like manner also that women adorn themselves with modesty and sobriety." The Lord in no way ignores women as the Rabbis were apt to do; nor were they pushed into an unseemly or even shameless prominence as in heathenism. Public action was not their place. The word is that they should adorn themselves "in seemly deportment," which includes not dress only but bearing. And hence it is added, "with modesty and sobriety," that shamefastness which shrinks from the least semblance of impropriety, that self-restraint where all is inwardly ruled. The apostle does not hesitate to deal plainly and unsparingly with the common objects of female vanity in all ages: "not with braids (that is, of hair), and gold, or pearls, or costly array."

This ought to settle many a question for an exercised conscience. Take the last only. How often do we not hear a plea for the most expensive attire on the ground of its economy in the end! But those who are waiting for Christ to come need not look so far forward. Negations, however, do not satisfy the mind of the Spirit; "but what becometh women professing godliness, by good works." Such is the adorning that the Lord approves; and women have therein a large and constant sphere, δἰ ἔργων ἀγαθῶν "by means of good works," not here καλώ (honourable, right, fair) as in Matt. 5:16; Gal. 6:9; 1 Thess. 5:21; but ἀγαθός as in Gal. 6:10; 1 Thess. 5:15, of which we have an instance in Dorcas (Acts 9:36). Where intelligence takes the place of this activity in good, sorrow soon ensues for others, and later on shame for themselves. Real spiritual power would have hindered both; whereas vanity likes and encourages this practical error, only to find in the end its intelligence all wrong. If blind lead blind, both will fall into a pit.

The same general principle applies to the whole question of the house, its furnishing, and the dress of the person. We rejoice in our Christian liberty and the freedom from that uniformity which characterizes a religion of the flesh. Perhaps there is a danger of going to the other extreme of conformity to the world in matters of display and luxury. We may be sure that the spirit at least of the New Testament will check that extreme subservience to the fashions of this world which marks those who belong to it. On the other hand, mere peculiarity of dress or personal habits is not the mark of spirituality. Untidiness in person, dress, or surroundings, is really the mark of sloth and the New Testament as well as the Old calls this by the name of "sin." A Christian, while not obtrusively fashionable, will also be not obtrusively shabby.

Mr. P.: But I am afraid, Mr. Grim, that the person who is occupied in dressing differently from the world is thinking as much about dress as the person who is engrossed with following its fashions. Christ has to take a secondary place in both hearts; whereas we are all agreed, I am sure, He should have the first place. There can be no doubt whatever that gay and gaudy apparel indicates pride of heart and a desire to attract looks of admiration from people around. We have an instance in Isaiah 3:16, etc. There Jehovah speaks very severely to the daughters of Zion, who were walking with stretched-forth necks and wanton eyes, mincing as they went, and making a tinkling with their feet. They desired others to take notice of their chains and bracelets, rings and nose-jewels, their bonnets and mantles, hoods and veils. All this showed plainly enough that their hearts were as empty of the fear of the Lord as their heads were of a due sense of womanly propriety; and therefore the Lord warns them that He will assuredly judge them for their worldly ways. This is one side. And, wrong as this side is, those that rush into the other extreme are none the less wrong. The Pharisees, when they fasted, put ashes on their head, dirtied and disfigured their faces, looking unutterably sad; but only that they might appear to men to fast (Matt. 6.) They made broad their phylacteries and enlarged the fringes of their garments for a similar reason (Matt. 23:5). Hypocrites as they were, they dressed only for human eyes; and, in spite of the apparent humility of their garb, their hearts were full of pride. Thomas a Becket, Archbishop of Canterbury, who continually wore filthy sackcloth upon his flesh, is well known to have been the proudest and most overbearing man of his time. So also the “Friend” in his suit of sober grey, and the “Salvation” lassie in her poke-bonnet, may, after all, be as proud as a West-end belle in her diamonds and lace. Dress, we must remember, is only the external thing; and unless the heart is right, all else is wrong.

Before closing our subject of "Woman's Place in the Church," we feel constrained, to add a few remarks as to the important matter of her adornment and dress. God has also given us instructions as to this in His Word and the widespread, shameful, present day departure of women in general from these Scriptural injunctions necessitates that attention be drawn to what God has said on the subject. In I Timothy 2:9, 10 we read: "that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with braided hair (plaited hair -New Trans.), or gold, or pearls, or costly array; but (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works."

Many women, even some sisters in the Lord, are following the styles of the world as to their dress and adornment and are found with short dresses, dresses with low necks, no sleeves and bare backs, slacks, shorts, painted faces and nails, bobbed hair, gaudy garments, and most immodest bathing suits. Beloved sisters, are these things in accordance with the above Scripture? Is it modest apparel? Would shamefacedness, sobriety, and that which becometh women professing godliness, characterize such things? Assuredly not. Never were the fashions in so-called Christian lands so degrading to women, immodest, and conducive to the stirring up of baser lusts and sin.

The testimony of one young man about women's present day dress is: "It is the clothing that neither reveals, nor conceals, that brings the imagination into play and does the havoc: why don't girls wear enough to cover themselves?"

Furthermore, there is a word concerning dress. The adorning is not to be outwardly in braiding of hair, wearing of gold, or putting on of apparel, but inwardly, "the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which in the sight of God is of great price." The positive side is emphasized more than the negative. The greatest ornament a woman can wear is "a meek and quiet spirit," for it shows that in manifesting meekness and quietness, they learned and received from Him, who on earth was "meek and lowly of heart." This applies to every believer likewise. Wherever a meek and quiet spirit is manifested God is well pleased with it. What a contrast with the conditions in the world today. Women claim equality with men; in every walk of life they clamor to be heard; the female sex is breaking down the barriers set by the Creator and the Redeemer, demanding leadership in every sphere. The result will be disaster. But it must not be overlooked that here is also exhortation for the Christian woman to dress outwardly as becomes a follower of the Lord Jesus Christ. There should be a difference between the daughters of the world and those who are Christ's. On the other hand, shabbiness of dress, an unclean appearance, is no more an honor to the Gospel, than a dress which is after the latest fashion of the world.