What does it mean to boast in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9)?

(Vv. 8-10.) Judging that his thorn was a hindrance to his services, the Apostle beseeches the Lord three times that it might be taken from him. The Lord answers his prayer, though he does not grant his request. He is told two great truths that we all need to remember: First, that the Lord's grace is sufficient to sustain in every trial; and secondly, that our weakness only becomes the occasion for manifesting His power.

Seeing then that this infirmity keeps the flesh from boasting, and becomes the occasion for the display of the grace and power of Christ, the Apostle henceforth glories in the very weakness that he had desired to be removed. Thus he can take pleasure in the very things that are so abhorrent to us as natural men weaknesses, insults, necessities, persecutions and distresses — for all these things were for Christ's sake, and, while manifesting the weakness of the body, they also made manifest the power of Christ, so that the Apostle can say, "When I am weak, then I am strong."

We have seen that God has to show us what total bankrupts we are as to goodness, that we may find all we want—nay, more, all He Himself wants—in Christ. And He must next bring us to realize our perfect weakness that we may find our strength in Christ as well. “Apart from Me,” saith the Lord, “ye can do nothing.” On the other hand, Paul could say, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (or “who gives me power”), Phil. 4:13. And when Paul had learned the lesson, he could even glory in his infirmities, and do it “gladly,” because he knew that his weakness only made the more room for Christ's power, as he says, “That the power of Christ may rest upon me,” 2 Cor. 12:9. He does not make me conscious of having power; but in the consciousness of my weakness, I avail myself of His power. “I take pleasure in infirmities . . . for when I am weak, then am I strong,” v. 10.

Reckon yourselves to be dead, because Christ has died. When you go down to this world, the only possible dealing with the flesh is making nothing of you. This is not power, but it is the way God deals with us to give power, whether to an apostle or to the giver of a cup of cold water. If you are in Christ, one wants nothing but Christ from you. The thorn is not power in itself, but preparation for power. Suppose Paul despicable in his ministry: well, there never was such a work done before. Then there must be something besides Paul here; Christ must be here. Ah! says Paul, "I glory in my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest upon me." His strength is made perfect in weakness. He cannot make it perfect in our strength! I am as weak as water — a poor weak thing: God has chosen that no flesh may glory in His presence. Where a person is nothing, "my grace is sufficient." Where is His strength made perfect? In a person who has no strength at all: then it must be Christ. When I am made nothing of, "I glory in my infirmities." There is what the Christian is.

What better asset to an active servant of the Lord than a strong, healthy body! Paul though that without such a body he must be positively hindered and restricted in the service of the Lord. He thought physical efficiency was essential. But he bowed under the humbling hand of the Lord, "I will not glory, but in mine infirmities." As glorying in "a man in Christ," he gloried in that which made everything of Christ. Glorying in his infirmities he gloried in that which made nothing of himself. But, blessing of blessings, along with that which emphasized his nothingness and demonstrated his utter weakness, he heard that same voice which had spoken blessing to him on the Damascus road, now saying, "My grace is sufficient for thee." "My … thee," and in between (not to separate but to sustain), "My grace."

As the "small" Paul looked on the largeness of that grace, which alone could support, empower, and employ him, he cast his weakness, indeed himself with all his deficiencies, at the feet of His all-sufficient Lord, crying, "most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. therefore I take pleasure in infirmities … for Christ's sake; for when I am weak," consciously so, and looking for nothing in himself the vessel, "then am I strong." Strong in the strength which Christ supplies!

293 Before we come to power, the question of righteousness has been settled by Christ being at the right hand of God; it is a settled thing. It is practically learned when I am saved; then I have a title to the third heaven; and strength is made perfect in weakness. The Lord never gives us intrinsic strength, He makes us feel our dependence. I am made to feel my weakness when I see how my flesh would even pervert the blessings that are mine in Christ. Therefore will I rather glory in infirmities (not sin, but infirmities - for example, distresses, persecutions, etc.). The Spirit kept him from that which would have given him a bad conscience.

Further, remark, that dealing with self, our own spiritual condition, is the secret of power, not the quantity of divine revelations we have to communicate, valuable as this may be in its place. For power Paul was dealt with in his own soul, its own dangers and state, and then Christ's power rested on him. Lastly, as to our glorying in our position in Christ; it is all right. "Of such a one I will glory; yet of myself I will not glory but in mine infirmities." When I think of my place in Christ, of the "man in Christ," of such a one we ought to glory. This is no presumption. It cannot be otherwise, whenever we know ourselves in Christ. Do you think I can do anything but glory in being in Christ, and like Christ in glory? Of such a one I will. Let no pretended humility deprive us of this. It is legalism. Of myself, of that of which I have the living consciousness of a man down here, I cannot glory, unless it be in those sufferings for Christ and infirmities of whatever kind they may be, connected with them, which are used to put the flesh down, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Such a bad condition the apostle has to contend with. Affection and confidence toward himself had been withdrawn in measure, because he had no such advantages to boast. And surely he was fully purposed not to affect such things at all. It is true, he would be independent as well as the other, but it should arise from his working with his own hand, not from advantages of fortune, as we say. And though he had certain things of which he might boast in the flesh, he would glory rather in his infirmities. He would be "weak in Christ," i.e., in fellowship with Him who was "crucified in weakness," that all his strength might be spiritual, or resurrection-strength.

How blessed for us to be so consciously weak in ourselves, that we are absolutely cast on the Lord as our only resource. Conscious weakness is the pathway to divine power. Even Paul had to learn, "when I am weak, then am I strong"; and blessed for him that he did learn it. He gloried in what made little of himself before men, and took pleasure in difficulties of the most trying kind, that the power of Christ might rest upon him.

His afflictions were, in fact, distinctive tokens of approval; and with this conviction he will boast of that which made him so feeble in the sight of men. For it was not the semblance only, but the substance of divine power, that rested on this broken reed, as he went, under the sure guidance of the Spirit, about his Master's work. "Not I, but Christ," was his motto and his boast; and anything that conferred on him a deeper experience of this truth he welcomed as a real addition to his joy. With respect to the latter clause of this verse, it is manifestly not to be confounded, as a point of doctrine, with what belongs to the common faith of Christians. All who are truly such are, by position, "in Christ;" and in all alike Christ dwells, or they are none of His. This resting, or tabernacling (hina episkenosei, k.l.), of the power of Christ upon His servant, is a special form of that general but conditional promise which the Lord spake to Judas — not Iscariot — in the days of His flesh (John 14:23). The power of Christ is absolute, and may use at will all instruments; but when it is said to rest upon a man, it implies, in his case, a thoroughness of inward contrition and self-loathing (not necessarily because of particular sins committed, or the consciousness of evil proclivities of an exceptional kind, but by a divinely-taught estimate of the flesh, in its hopeless contrariety to the Spirit) which leaves the whole heart vacant for the Lord, whose habitation ever is with such (Isa. 57:15). All that are Christ's have crucified the flesh, with its affections and its lusts (Gal. 5:24); for by their faith they both died and are risen with the Lord, but not every saint is passed experimentally through this killing process. Such special dispensations are among the methods of divine husbandry by means of which the branch which bears fruit brings forth yet more abundantly, to the praise of Him who purges it (John 15). In another epistle he tells us, more at large, of the process and ends of this schooling in Christ, with its moral effects upon his own spirit (Phil. 4:11-13); it is here connected rather with his outward experiences, in service as a minister of God.

This "praying always" supposes the person not to be fainting, but to be using the "ARMOUR" in connection with it; "having the loins girt about with truth;" for instance, the soul not resting vaguely on God, but whilst casting itself on Him, reckoning on an answer according to the mind of God as revealed in His word. The saint may not always get a direct answer to his petition. Paul, we know, prayed that the "thorn in the flesh" might depart from him. What was the Lord's answer? Was it removed? No! "My grace is sufficient for thee; for my strength is made perfect in weakness;" that is to say, "It is better for thee to know the sufficiency of my grace, than to have the thorn taken away." He got the victory over it, but he did not lose it. He was able to say, "Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." It was not sin in which he gloried. People often call their sins, the spirit of unbelief, and the like, infirmities. The things wherein he gloried were - affliction, persecutions, distresses for Christ's sake, etc.; for through them he learnt the sufficiency of the Lord's grace.