What does it mean that wives are the "weaker vessel" (1 Peter 3:7)?

(3.) The apostle Peter confines himself to certain aspects of the husband's responsibility. "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge giving honour as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered." (1 Peter 3:7.)

To dwell with the wife "according to knowledge," is to have the relationship, and the affections proper to it, ordered by the truth, by the knowledge which the Christian has of the relationship in the sight of God. And this is exceedingly important; for herein lies the difference between the believer and the unbeliever in these relative positions; and it behoves the Christian to act in all these according to the new place in which he has been brought by the death and resurrection of Christ. The Christian husband will therefore dwell with his wife according to the truth of his union with his wife, as revealed in the Scriptures.

Moreover, he is to give honour to his wife, and on two grounds. First, on the natural ground, that she is the weaker vessel. There is little doubt that this reference is to the more delicate frame and organization of the woman, requiring and deserving more gentle and more tender treatment. So that just as weakness constitutes a claim upon strength for consideration and support, so the wife as "the weaker vessel" has a claim upon her husband for thoughtful, loving watchfulness and care. He is to give her honour by rendering her all the attention which her more delicate nature requires. It is possible, however, that there may be a reference to the fact that "Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression" (1 Tim. 2:14), that she thus showed herself to be "the weaker vessel," by being the first to fall through the subtlety of the devil. More easily acted on, especially through the affections, she thus needs and demands from her husband vigilant and tender care to shield her from the peculiar temptations to which, with her weaker nature, she is constantly exposed. But, secondly, this exhortation is grounded in grace as well as in nature, "as being heirs together of the grace of life." In Christ there is neither male nor female. (Gal. 3:28.) All natural distinctions therefore, as constituting any relative superiority in Christ, are abolished. While therefore the husband claims the natural obedience of his wife, he must never forget that, if they are both children of God, they are together "heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ." (Rom. 8:17.) And as such he is to give honour unto his wife; for these natural ties, and these relative connections, are only for earth; and when the Lord comes to receive His people unto Himself, husbands and wives will alike be caught up together in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air; and then both will be like unto Christ, and be for ever with Him.

Attention to this injunction is the more needful for the reason given, "that your prayers be not hindered." It is pre-supposed that husband and wife will habitually unite in prayer; and hence the warning is, that any failure in the husband to give honour unto his wife will tend to disturb harmony of feeling, and thus to hinder prayer. It were well if all Christian husbands and wives would often ponder these words. For in the activities of this present time there is great danger of neglecting this united prayer; and the slightest disturbance of concord will ever tempt them to neglect it the more. Satan knows this, and hence he ever seeks to cloud over the peace of these relationships; for he does not forget that it is impossible for husband and wife to go together to the throne of grace when there is the smallest discord in their hearts. The husband must watch against this snare, remembering the importance of their prayers not being hindered. For how many things are there constantly occurring in every family which need to be spread out before God! And how blessed it is when husband and wife can go together, with one heart, concerning every difficulty and perplexity, to the throne of grace!

Favoured as the Jew of old was, compared with the heathen (no matter how civilized or refined as in Greece and Rome), Christianity gave an immense advance. But as one apostle, who had inwardly all knowledge beyond such as boasted, insisted that if he had not love, he was nothing, so here our apostle implies its necessity for the husband's "dwelling together" with his wife. Hence to love their wives has the first and great place in the Epistles to the Ephesians and the Colossians. To fail in such love is a breach of the relationship, and unworthy of a Christian. Alienation is a practical denial of the husband's place. Faults there may be, haste, forgetfulness, shortcomings; but love as elsewhere, so here in a position so near and tender and peculiar, should have long patience and be kind; be not emulous any more than insolent and rash, nor be puffed up, nor behave in an unseemly way, neither quickly provoked nor imputing evil, and rejoice not at iniquity but rather with the truth. Love does not change nor weary; but we need not here say more. Only we must bear in mind, in thus "dwelling together," the need that it be "according to knowledge." The vanity of our knowing, which puffs up, is contrasted with love which builds up. And what a source of instruction is scripture for the difficulties of the home as well as of the way! Christ Himself, as the other apostle pointed out, is the standard.

But a few words follow which deserve every attention. The husband, as having the place of authority, is exposed to the danger of presumption and lack of consideration. Hence the force here of "awarding honour as to a weaker vessel — the female." The very fact that such is her nature as compared with his own is the ground of the Spirit's appeal to him who is given to be her protector. Has he never learnt his own weakness before God, and proved that in the sense of it by faith is his power through the grace of Christ? His therefore it is, never to despise, but to guide and cherish her and this in no suspicious spirit but the watchfulness of love, and the grace that pays her honour. But to apply this definitely to "allotting an honourable subsistence" to the wife, as Dr. Doddridge contended, has no more claim to be God's mind than his similar use of 1 Tim. 5:17 for the elders.

Another consideration consists of a still higher plea: — "as also fellow-heirs of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered." Though the married estate is essentially of the earth, yet those here in view were the redeemed of God, His children. "And if children, heirs also; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ." Husband and wife, being Christians, are appealed to as in a relationship by grace which shall never pass away. When Christ our life shall be manifested, then shall they exchange the present exposure to sorrow and suffering, in which we give God thanks, for that exceeding weight of glory, into which Christ has entered as our fore-runner, whilst we are waiting for Him. O dear brethren, recognise your blessedness, and count the heaviest trial but light affliction and momentary. Look not at the things that are seen but at the things that are not seen; for the things that are seen are for a time, but those that are not seen eternal.

And husbands are certainly not to take advantage of their wives because of their subject place. They are rather to "dwell them (not above them) according to knowledge, in sober recognition of what is right and proper. And because the wife is physically the weaker vessels the husband is to give her honor for the stronger is certainly responsible to support the weaker. Let him show every true consideration for her welfare. In the world today, because! of man's abuse of his authority, women have suffered, and now have turned in resentment of this, demanding equal rights, etc. But neither of these abuses is right and Christians, whether men or women, should properly realize their place, and keep it, also faithfully discharging the responsibilities of that place.

Husband and wife then are to consider themselves "heirs together of the grace of life." This is not heirs in reference to blessing (of which Romans 8:17 speaks), but, in reference to receiving from God present grace to live in devoted obedience to Him. Let us make full use of this precious heritage of "the Grace of life." In this spirit of proper consideration for one another there is a preserving character, so that the prayers of the husband and wife together are not hindered.

(V. 7). The Christian husband is to dwell with his wife according to the knowledge of the relationship as instituted by God, and not simply according to human thoughts or customs. He is to honour her as the more fragile being, and therefore requiring greater care and protection. Whatever differences there may be as to constitution, they are heirs together of the grace of life. The husband is therefore to pay all honour to the wife, so that no cloud may arise between them to hinder their prayers.

And the husband is exhorted next. He is not told to claim submission, or to insist upon it as his peculiar right. He is exhorted to give the wife honor as the weaker vessel, hence he must show to her, as the weaker one, kindness, tenderness, consideration and loving sympathy, as we read in Ephesians: "Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church." The believing husband and the wife are "heirs together of the grace of life." Where this is practised there will be sweet companionship and fellowship in the Lord, nothing hindering them from bowing the knees together in His presence, expressing together their praise, their mutual needs and those of others.

Two things are very clear from this scripture: that husbands and wives are contemplated as praying together; and, secondly, that the exhortations addressed to husbands are given with the object that such prayers should not be hindered. It shows what great importance the Holy Spirit attaches to the habit of prayer here supposed. The exhortation is very simple: husbands are to dwell with their wives "according to knowledge"; that is, in the recollection of the fact as knowing that the wife is the weaker vessel, and accordingly, with all tender consideration and care, to maintain the practice of giving honour to her as such; and, secondly, they are to remember that, in the circle of grace, husbands and wives are on equality, "as being heirs together of the grace of life." Keeping these things in mind, and being governed by them in their conduct and demeanor, would tend to preserve that spirit of harmony and fellowship in the marriage relationship, without which praying together would become impossible. The slightest friction, or even absence of tenderness between husband and wife, may very readily become an effectual obstacle to fellowship in prayer. Hence it is said "that your prayers be not hindered." The question however is put, Does it mean that wives, in such prayers, are to be the mouthpiece of their common wants as well as the husbands? No certain answer to this question could be given, in our judgment, from this scripture, nor have we any precise directions on this head in any other epistle. Nevertheless, with the instructions given as to the relative place of the man and the woman before God in 1 Cor. 11:1-15, and also as to the relation of the husband to the wife in Eph. 5:23-24, there will not be much difficulty in discerning what is the Lord's mind on the subject.

The apostle turns now to consider the sanctification of marriage. It is plain that sanctification is his theme throughout; that is to say, the being set apart to God, which is what he dwells upon here as that which was to characterize the wives, even as to their dress. Their adorning was not to be for the eyes of men, not even for those of their husbands in the first place; where the braiding of hair or wearing of gold or putting on of apparel might all be in place according to the character of those to whom they were united; but it is to God that they are set apart, therefore in that which is really in itself hidden from man, the hidden man of the heart, but which was to be manifest in "a meek and quiet spirit, which in the sight of God is of great price." This indeed it is that is to act upon their partners in life, where these might be themselves unsubject to the Word — might even refuse to listen to it; so that without the Word the behavior of their wives must speak to them. Here, surely, the husbands are in view for spiritual benefit in beholding the effect of the Word upon those so near to them — a behaviour in the fear of God, not, as he cautions afterwards, in any terror of another kind; while, nevertheless, they were to be subject to their husbands in this way as Sarah obeyed Abraham; whose children they would be in doing well. We can see how thoroughly sanctification is the key-note here. As to the husbands, he has but a word for them — that they, for their part, dwell with their wives according to the knowledge of the relationship, as God had instituted it, giving honor to the woman on the very account of her being the weaker naturally.* This is indeed what God has ordained as one of those countless ways by which He would make our dependence upon one another the means of drawing out the love to minister to the need, and thus giving blessing on both sides. But there was a higher relationship which they were not to forget: they were also joint-heirs of the grace of life, with a common dependence upon Another, which prayer expresses; and their prayers must not be hindered.

What an important passage is 1 Peter 3:1-7. The wife is exhorted to live before God, adorned with a meek and quiet spirit which is in His sight of great price, and such living will result in spiritual blessing to the husband, even if he be disobedient to the Word. The husband must dwell with the wife according to knowledge, surely knowledge of the relationship as ordained of God, and the one who so dwells with his wife will treat her not as an inferior, but as needing love and care, because she is the weaker vessel. Husband and wife are heirs together of the grace of life, they look to One source for all that life means, and are equally and together dependent upon that source, and so should pray together.

What an important passage is 1 Peter 3:1-7. The wife is exhorted to live before God, adorned with a meek and quiet spirit which is in His sight of great price, and such living will result in spiritual blessing to the husband, even if he be disobedient to the Word. The husband must dwell with the wife according to knowledge, surely knowledge of the relationship as ordained of God, and the one who so dwells with his wife will treat her not as an inferior, but as needing love and care, because she is the weaker vessel. Husband and wife are heirs together of the grace of life, they look to One source for all that life means, and are equally and together dependent upon that source, and so should pray together.

Husbands were in like manner to dwell with the wife, their affections and relationships being governed by christian knowledge, and not by any human passion; honouring the wife, and walking with her as being heirs together of the grace of life.