What does it mean that "faithful are the wounds of a friend" (Proverbs 27:6)?

It is the property of real love, to prove its activity; if it abide hidden when called to speak or work according to the heart, it betrays self rather than true affection. Even if there is a faultiness, love is bound to give "open rebuke." Indifference passes for much in this world, but it is the reverse of love, and cares for self, when it hides to spare danger and yet pretends affection.

A friend's wounds, on the contrary, are faithful, for God's will is thus done, even though misunderstood and resented for a while. An enemy betrays himself by the very profuseness of his kisses. God is not in such a display, but too often no more than partisanship in a human cause.

"Open rebuke is better than secret love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful."

When wrong is present, wisdom will seek to bring the help that meets the wrong. Secret love may wink at the evil, but this is not the true love of God: it is no help to the guilty party. Candid open rebuke in a spirit of kindness, not of mere censure, is both honesty and goodness. It may wound to some degree, even when done in a lowly, friendly way, but even the offender should recognize faithfulness in this, and if he rightly takes it to heart, his wounds will heal well. Moreover, it may lead him to love the wise reprover. Again, this kind of work, to be rightly done, requires true self-judgment and communion with God.

"Open rebuke is better than secret love" and "faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful" (verses 5-6). A wise man welcomes open criticism and rebuke, though such rebuke may wound, yet being given by the faithfulness of a friend, it is far better than the deceitful kisses of a flattering enemy. The 14th verse may be linked with these statements. "He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse unto him." Insincerity lurks behind such loud, pharisaical protestations of friendship.

Paul is not deterred by man; and in this his conduct here shines by contrast with Peter's. But the way Paul acts is charming. "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful" (Prov. 27:6). Judas has illustrated the last clause of this verse, in his betrayal of Jesus; Paul illustrates the former, in his treatment of Peter. He goes frankly to him, while he publicly exposes the glaring inconsistency of which, equally publicly, he had been guilty. He knew that Peter really believed in his heart that which he himself did. He was certain that Peter's convictions were the same as his own. He was equally certain that Peter had been betrayed into his inconsistent course — which in faithfulness he cannot describe as anything less than dissimulation — by the pressure brought to bear on him from without. He was equally convinced that Peter, at bottom, loved the Lord, the Gentiles, and himself; and this explains the faithfulness of his public address, which is a model of frankness coupled with delicacy, and of logical argument combined with persuasiveness. Let us give earnest heed to it.

"So I have become your enemy by telling you the truth?" In some old manuscripts, at the end of verse 36 in Acts 21, we read the words: "Down with our enemy!" Paul had been seized by the crowd in the temple at Jerusalem, and then arrested by the Romans. As the soldiers carried him along to the castle, the people followed crying, "Away with him!" Here, some old copies read: "Away with him! Down with our enemy!" These words were probably not written by Luke, but they probably tell us truthfully how the Jews spoke of him. A very old writer, writing about 160-188 A.D., who was a bitter enemy of the teaching of Paul, says, "Some of the Gentiles … have accepted the lawless and foolish teaching of an enemy." It is very probable that these false teachers from Jerusalem who had come to Galatia had called Paul an enemy. Paul seems to have heard that something like this had happened, and so he upbraids them: "So I have become your enemy by telling you the truth?" They had forgotten that "faithful are the wounds of a friend." Prov. 27:6. He puts it in the form of a question, so as to leave a doubt, and give the Galatians the opportunity to answer, "No, Paul, you are not our enemy! You are our best and dearest earthly friend."

"Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful" (Prov. 27:6). God's wounds cure; sin's kisses kill.

The business of the watchmen is to keep order in the city. How comes it that they find the bride wandering in the city at night, without the Bridegroom? This is contrary to order and they rightly rebuke her. They "wounded" her, but "faithful are the wounds of a friend." Again the keepers of the walls have to protect the city from attacks of the enemy, and in following their calling must needs challenge all comers, to distinguish friends from foes. They are true to their work in their dealing with the bride. They must discover if she is really what she professes to be, and therefore they strip her of her veil.

But there is another element which ver. 9 draws attention to. "And Joseph remembered the dreams that he had dreamt of them; and he said to them, Ye are spies; to see the nakedness (or, exposed parts) of the land ye are come." The reality of God's interest in those who honour Him was plain before him, and the humiliation too of those who slight Him by their unbelief. One might not expect such a measure or manner adopted by an apostle, or a spiritual Christian; but it was quite in keeping with the governor of Egypt, although a pious man, and albeit brother of those who had never fully judged their persecution of one who had given them no just ground of offence. It is not love to be indifferent to flagrant evil, even in a brother. Faithful are the wounds of a friend. In remembering his dreams Joseph had God before him, and sought the good of his brethren, who as yet remembered nothing as they ought.

Further, it was to be applied to the conscience as well. "Now all these things happened unto them for ensamples (or types), and they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come" (1 Cor. 10:11). You will remember that in a Scripture already quoted we saw that all Scripture was profitable; among other things, for reproof and correction. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, and our God loves His people too much to let them go unreproved when they need it. "As many as I love I rebuke and chasten" are words which are some of "what the Spirit saith unto the churches." Ah, if God's people would but hearken to these admonitions of His Spirit through the Word! How much would we be spared of chastening and sorrow, and how quickly would joy replace our groaning!

(Vv. 14, 15). In contrast with the wise man, there are those who allow bitter envy and strife in their hearts. The evil, as ever, commences in the heart; and envy in the heart leads to boasting, and boasting to lying against the truth. How often the envious man will seek to hide his jealousy by protesting that he has no rancour in his heart, but is only resisting evil and standing for the truth. If, under the pretence of exposing some evil and telling a brother the plain truth for his good, we deliberately say things that are offensive, we may be perfectly sure that malice in the heart is behind our offensive words. How often have the most malicious words been excused by quoting the scripture, “Open rebuke is better than secret love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend.” How few would be able to quote the words that immediately precede, and that would warn us that we should not use this scripture lightly, for they ask the question, “Who is able to stand before envy?” (Prov. 27:4-6).