What does it mean that a soft answer turns away wrath (Proverbs 15:1)?

In the first case fury is presupposed. As this dishonours God and misbecomes man, a soft answer disarms it. On the contrary, a grievous or mortifying word excites anger. Christ is our example, into whose lips grace was poured; and, when reviled, He reviled not again. Yet who so withering to the proud and hypocritical (Matt. 23)? Who so unsparing even of an apostle when a stumbling block (Matt. 16:23)?

Next, wisdom is requisite for the tongue in order to use knowledge aright or make it acceptable; whereas, what can be expected from the foolish but to sputter out folly? Such is the contemptuous rebuke. They should escape censure if they held their peace.

Much that is written in the Book of Proverbs is a reiteration of what is written before, which surely indicates a very real need on our part to be reminded again and again of what is wise and becoming. We may think it faithfulness to strongly, even harshly, reprove the words of an unwise person but God tells us, "A soft answer turns away wrath" (v. 1). For gentle words can still be faithful and true, and it is wise to cultivate a habit of calm, sober wisdom in answering unwise words. For "a harsh word stirs up strife." And the servant of the Lord must not strive, and should be gentle to all, able to teach, and patient (2 Tim. 2:24).

How admirable is the wisdom Jehovah gives the heart! and not less on the negative or dark side than on the positive, especially where the knowledge that accompanies it is pleasant to the soul. Discretion and discernment follow with vigilance against an evil world. Violence and greed are not the only dangers but the way of evil through deceitful speech. Silence is not always golden; but "the tongue of the just is choice silver" (Prov. 10:20); or, as the New Testament exhorts, "Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt." How powerful is the soft and pure answer, not only to turn away wrath, but to check heat and pride and will! It is dangerous to hear froward things; it is wicked to speak them. How soon after this the paths of uprightness are forsaken to walk in the ways of darkness! — evil words allowed lead to a walk which God's light never illumines. How sad the descent in rejoicing to do evil! — delighting in the frowardness, or deceits of evil! It is to glory in the worst shame — how crooked in their paths and perverse in their course! Truly their judgment is just.

There are always grumblers, and we find that after the battle was won, there were some who came to Gideon and they complained to him saying, 'Why did you not come for us?' When the trumpet had been blown, they would have heard it. I do not think there was any question about that, but they did not come when the trumpet was blown, so Gideon and those whom God chose carried on and the victory was theirs. It was all right to come in at the end and make complaints, but Gideon was not a man of forceful spirit, and here he gives a beautiful example of a soft answer turning away wrath (Prov.15:1) and instead of causing frustration amongst his brethren, or causing them to be in animosity towards him, he won them for his cause.

Let us mark this. Where the power of God is most working, there is always the deepest grace, and the consciousness that all that we are, we are by the grace of God. What a manifestation have we here of the mind that was in Christ! How graciously did the Lord speak of His poor, failing, faithless disciples; "Ye are they," said He, that have continued with me in my temptations," Luke 22:28, Gideon esteems others better than himself. Not any thing so hinders blessing (individual or collective) as a feeling of superiority to others. The exercised soul will judge itself, whilst it sees that which is done by another in the light of grace. Gideon casts himself and his three hundred in the shade and brings into prominence the victory of the men of Ephraim. If honest in self-judgment, have we not at times detected in ourselves something of an inclination to overlook grace in other saints because they "followed not with us? "Grace is able to fasten on that in a brother that is pleasing to God, and seeks to bring it out, passing over in so doing, very much there may be, along with it of failure. Jesus knew, and perfectly, the weakness and failure of His disciples, though He addressed them as He did. It is a blessing when we can sink ourselves, that others may come into prominence. "Let your light," it is said, "so shine before men, that they may see your good works [not, you], and glorify (not you, but) your Father which is in heaven." If any chide with us, let us seek grace to go down, and take the lowest place, and give them credit. - "Then their anger was abated toward him, when he had said that." See Prov. 15:1, "A soft answer turneth away wrath."

Gideon's case a soft answer turned away wrath, but Jephthah was immediately on the defense, telling Ephraim in effect that he had expected them to deliver Israel from the Ammonites, but when they failed to do this, then he took his life in his hands and attacked the Ammonites, whom God delivered into his hands (vv. 2-3). Thus, Jephthah made it clear to them that they were in the wrong. But it does not usually sit well for people to have demonstrated to them that they are wrong, and in this case it led directly into conflict.

What followed Solomon's fall when he turned away from the Lord, who so graciously had appeared unto him twice, is unrecorded in the Chronicles. 1 Kings 11:9-43 contains these events. Jeroboam, the son of Nebat, had lifted up his hand against Solomon (I Kings 11:27). He planned secretly a revolt against the king, and when he went out of Jerusalem, most likely to carry out his plans, the prophet Ahijah met him, and in renting his own garment into ten pieces announced that God would take the kingdom out of the hand of Solomon and give to Jeroboam the ten tribes. Then Solomon sought to kill Jeroboam and he fled into Egypt, and was in Egypt until Solomon died. It is here where the account in Chronicles comes in. Rehoboam (enlarger of the people), the only son of Solomon mentioned in the Bible, went to Shechem, where all Israel had come together to make him king. Jeroboam had returned from Egypt and appeared on the scene, sent by the people to conduct negotiations in their behalf. Jeroboam demanded a lightening of the heavy burden of forced labor and taxation which Solomon had put upon them. If this request would be granted they were ready to serve Jeroboam. The King asked for three days to consider the demand. He first turned to the aged men and consulted those who had been closely associated with his father. They advised him to use kindness to avert the threatening rebellion. "A soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger" (Prov. 15: 1). If Rehoboam had heeded this inspired saying of his father, he would have followed the advice which had been given. But instead he turned to the young men, "the young men (Hebrew: children) that had grown up with him." They readily gave advice how the peoples' demand, "Ease somewhat the yoke that thy father did put upon us," should be answered. It was foolish advice. The threat to increase their burdens, and that while his father had used whips he would use scorpions (a cruel whip to which pieces of sharp metal were attached) was to overawe the people and bring them into submission. It seems almost impossible that Rehoboam should follow such advice. If Eccles. 2:18-19 applies to this son of Solomon, the father's fears were well founded. He certainly showed that he was not a wise man, but a fool. Yet there was another reason why Rehoboam listened to the foolish counsel. "So the king hearkened not unto the people, for the cause was of God, that the Lord might perform His Word, which He spake by Ahijah, the Shilonite, to Jeroboam, the son of Nebat. And the offended people answered the king with the same spirit and declared their independence. In contempt they said, "And now David see to thine own house." Then foolishly Rehoboam sent one of the officials who were hated on account of their office, Hadoram, who was over the tribute. The people became infuriated and stoned him to death. King Rehoboam had to make haste to escape a similar fate. The revolt had come. "And Israel rebelled against the house of David." The words spoken to Solomon (I Kings 11:11-13) were now fulfilled.

How long Jeroboam remained in Egypt is not known; but we read that on the death of Solomon he returned, and was present at Rehoboam's coronation; when the rebellion was consummated. "And Rehoboam went to Shechem: for all Israel were come to Shechem to make him king. And it came to pass; when Jeroboam the son of Nebat, who was yet in Egypt, heard of it, … that they sent and called him. And Jeroboam and all the congregation of Israel came, and spake unto Rehoboam, saying," etc. The time was ripe. Solomon's incompetent son and successor, instead of heeding his father's wholesome proverb, "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger," displayed his lack of wisdom and fitness to govern a liberty-loving people; and, as a consequence, he precipitated the separation of the already alienated northern tribes, to the weakening and almost ruin of a kingdom that had but recently extended from the Nile to the Euphrates, a distance of more than four hundred and fifty miles, and acknowledged by the surrounding nations as one of the most powerful empires of the earth.

Rehoboam consults with the old men who had stood before Solomon to drink at the fountain-head of wisdom. Their counsel is that of Jesus to His disciples: "Let the greater among you be as the younger, and the leader as he that serves" (Luke 22:26). "If this day," say the old men, "thou wilt be a servant to this people, and wilt serve them and answer them and speak good words to them, they will be thy servants for ever" (v. 7). Rehoboam forsakes the counsel of wisdom in order to follow that of the young men who had grown up with him, and who stood before him (v. 8). They could not thus be anything other than the mirror and reflection of their master's thoughts. Had he himself stood before his father hearing the wise proverbs that fell from his lips, he could have communicated somewhat of this wisdom to others. He would have known what was becoming to a king; he would have known that "A soft answer turns away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger" (Prov. 15:1); that "Pride goes before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall" (Prov. 16:18), and many other precepts. But no, those who flatter his pride are the ones who win his approval. The counsel of the young men in the final analysis is but that of his own heart. Pride goes hand in hand with despising one's neighbor; this base people counts for nothing in the eyes of a king who exalts himself. Great Solomon, his father, even seems little to him in comparison to his own greatness. This saying that his courtiers suggest to him: "My little finger is thicker than my father's loins" (v. 10), does not meet with his disapproval. In any case, he esteems himself stronger and more energetic than his father and despises the people of God. He does not listen to them; this thing was of the Lord, that He might fulfill His prophetic word (v. 15). What God has purposed, must come to pass.

"The words of wise men are heard in quiet" (Ecc. 9:17). Let the reproof be as sharp as thou wilt; but the spirit must be meek. Passion raiseth the blood of him that is reproved; but compassion turns his bowels. We must not denounce wrath in wrath.