What does "first be reconciled to your brother" mean (Matthew 5:24)?

Notice how wisely he speaks to these sisters: "Euodia I urge, Syntyche I urge, to mind the same thing in the Lord". He does not say, "I urge Euodia and Syntyche". But he speaks to each one separately: not suggesting one is more to blame than another. Indeed he makes no suggestion of any blame. You remember our Lord said: "If thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift". (Matt. 5:23-24). That is what these sisters should have done. The Greek word for "be reconciled" is di-allasso. This word is never used for man to be reconciled to God. Then it is a different word, kat-allasso. Di-allasso denotes mutual concession after mutual hostility, an idea absent in kat-allasso. (Abbott-Smith, quoting Lightfoot). It would seem that when saints have a quarrel or misunderstanding, the Lord sees that generally, if not always, there is fault on both sides; and both need to make concessions. Euodia would have to make concessions to Syntyche, and Syntyche would need to make concessions to Euodia. There is a possible exception to this in the case of a wife who had left her husband and wished to be reconciled to him again: 1 Cor. 7:11: here katallasso is used. But this, perhaps, we can understand, as she (a Christian woman) had been told not to depart from her husband. I think every other case where this word is used, is speaking of man being reconciled to God: where, of course, man only is wrong, and makes concessions.

It is no less evident that Jewish disciples as yet under the law are those addressed. This is as plain in vers. 20, 21 as in those we are now considering. In fact it is the rule in this Gospel as a whole and in the others; and it must be so, till in the death of Christ the middle wall of partition was broken down, and thus the way was opened to reconcile both Jew and Gentile that believed in one body to God, the enmity being slain. The discourse of our Lord anticipates no such unity, nor even the call of the Gentiles, in any one clause. But it is a profound mistake that this indisputable fact takes away the profit of a single word from the Christian, though we stand now in a position of grace which could not be then. There is the richest instruction morally for every one who honours Him who spake as never man spake; a spiritual estimate of unequalled depth for those who know redemption and have the indwelling Spirit to enter in far more fully than those who heard His words of divine truth at the time He uttered them.

Thus the Lord enjoins the disciple who was bringing his gift to the altar, if he remembered that his brother had anything against him, to stop short of his devoted purpose as to God Himself, and be reconciled to his brother, before returning to offer his gift. What tenderness of conscience was looked for, brotherly affection, lowliness of mind, readiness to own wrong, and desire to win an offended brother! It was the very reverse of anger, contempt, or hatred, which He had just treated, as His servant in measure re-echoed at a much later day (1 John 3:11-15). And that reverse was the Jews' case. For absorbed in bringing their offering to the altar, they were blind to their wrong against Him who deigned to be their brother, with far more than brother's love, born for adversity as they knew not. But they refused to be reconciled, and persisted in their offering, however offensive to God. It was presumptuous sin, and high-handed self-will under cloak of religion.

What follows points to a still more solemn consideration. Who that weighs scripture can doubt that the Lord in vers. 25, 26 refers to the position in which the Jew then stood with God? This was a far deeper consideration than any other brother aggrieved: their Lord became their brother. The awful truth is that He who loved Israel and would die for them, Jehovah-Messiah, was made their adversary by their perverse disobedience and blind unbelief; and His presence, which had been their salvation and best blessing if received, must bring on the inevitable crisis by their utter rejection and hatred of Him. The Lord at this point avails Himself of the occasion in His infinite grace to urge their agreeing, or making friends, with their adversary quickly, whilst in the way with him. How His heart yearned over them, even as a hen gathers her chickens under her wings! But they would not. Their deadliest aversion was to their loving Messiah.

Hence the case was just about to come before the Judge, and the Judge would deliver to the official the convicted one, and he must be cast into prison till the last farthing be paid. It is no question here of eternal judgment, but of divine government morally on the earth; but all is plainly true of His people found guilty and consigned to suffer long. In that prison still lies the guilty debtor, till his heart turns to the One he despised. Then the word shall go forth, Comfort ye, comfort ye my people, saith your God. Speak ye to the heart of Jerusalem, and cry to her, that her time of sorrow (or, suffering) is accomplished, that her iniquity is pardoned; for she hath received of Jehovah's hand double for all her sins (Isa. 40:1-2). Who is a God like unto Thee, that forgiveth iniquity and passeth by the transgression of the remnant of His heritage? (Micah 7:18.) Is not this the true unforced bearing of our Lord's words? One may apply it to Christian use or unchristian warning. But it is an evil to twist scripture or to complain of those who bow to its full force. Such ignorance has led men into the fable of purgatory.

"Therefore, if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee, Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift" (vv. 23-24). We should remember that the Lord Jesus was addressing His disciples and still had the sacrificial system of the temple before Him. Nevertheless, His words have something to say to us too.

It cannot be pleasing to God if we come before Him in worship without having first put our relationship with our brother in order. How easily relationships can be broken! Perhaps it was only a misunderstanding, or I may have deliberately hurt a child of God, a brother or sister. Anyway, he or she has something against me. The Lord says in this case, "Go."

The disturbed relationship between believers can only be put in order again by reconciliation and this is unlikely to be achieved without an honest confession. Only then can brotherly love flow again freely. Our fellowship with our God and Father is then restored as well: "And then come and offer thy gift."

If a Jew therefore were to bring an offering to the altar, then remembers that his brother has something against him, he is told not to offer his gift before he has made an honest effort to be reconciled to his brother. On his part, he is to allow no hard feeling to remain if his gift to the Lord is to be acceptable. It is clear that faith must be at work if one is to act on this, faith in fact that works by love.

To apply this to ourselves, we cannot expect to be in a proper condition to worship God if we allow bad feeling to remain between ourselves and others. It has been questioned if this means that if one now comes to remember the Lord in the breaking of bread, and remembers that another has something against him, should he not break bread until the matter is settled? Scripture does not put it this way; but rather "let a man examine (or judge) himself, and so let him eat of that breed, and drink of that cup" (1Cor.11:28).

It is clear that we are called upon to act, and to do so as soon as we realise that there is a problem. This is emphasised by the Lord’s words in Matthew 5:23–24: ‘If therefore thou shouldest offer thy gift at the altar, and there shouldest remember that thy brother has something against thee,leave there thy gift before the altar, and first go, be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.’ Although the context is clearly a Jewish one do we not feel the force of the Lord’s words? A ‘gift’ is taken by which it is intended to honour God and in going up to the temple one’s conscience is in exercise. Then, at the altar, it is brought home to the conscience that his brother has something against him. We might have thought that it must always be right to put God first, that the gift should be offered and then reconciliation with one’s brother actively sought. The Lord, who knows our hearts, shows that in these circumstances the gift is unacceptable. One must leave the gift at the altar and first be reconciled to one’s brother, and then the gift can be offered.

The Lord was not content, with authority peculiarly and emphatically His own, to lay down the hateful evil of anger in heart and word, even if not in violent deed. He proceeds to carry out the revealed mind of God for the kingdom by requiring reconciliation if any had stumbled one's brother. Throughout, disciples are in view, not mankind in general. Sin in disciples is exceeding sinful: good is peremptory (surely not evil) for the kingdom of the heavens.

"If therefore thou be offering thy gift at the altar, and there remember that thy brother hath aught against thee, leave there thy gift before the altar, and go; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift. Make friends (or, be of good-will) with thine adversary quickly, whilst thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the official, and thou be cast into prison. Verily I say to thee, Thou shalt in no wise come out thence till thou have paid the last farthing" (Matt. 5:23-26).

How jealous we ought to be about our hearts, how careful about anger. Of course there are times when we should sin if we were not angry. If anyone says anything derogatory of the Lord we ought to be angry, but this scripture shows us how careful we ought to be about ourselves personally. "The altar" does not mean the Lord's table, though we should examine ourselves before partaking of the Lord's Supper, and we shall have a far deeper sense of grace if we do. These were legal sacrifices, but as to ourselves the principle applies whenever we come to God. Even as to prayer. "If I regard iniquity in my heart the Lord will not hear me."

In Matthew 18:15 it is what I have against my brother because of some trespass against me, whose fault should be told him, but here it is my knowledge of his having something against me. The case is reversed. Pride is shown as much as anything in refusing to own when we are wrong. There is instruction for the remnant. Let everything be right. Seek to meet the mind of God as to others. We can all see where there is no reserve, everything clear and open: that should characterise the saint of God.

Again, when it was a question of trespass "in the holy things of the Lord," the unblemished sacrifice was first introduced; and, afterward "the principal" and "the fifth." This order was reversed when it was a question of the common affairs of life. (Comp. Lev. 5:15-16 with Lev. 6:4-7) The reason of this is equally obvious. When the divine rights were infringed, the blood of atonement was made the great prominent matter. Whereas, when human rights were interfered with, restitution would naturally assume the leading place in the mind. But, inasmuch as the latter involved the question of the soul's relation with God, as well as the former, therefore the sacrifice is introduced, though it be last in order. If I wrong my fellow man, that wrong will, undoubtedly, interfere with my communion with God; and that communion can only be restored on the ground of atonement. Mere restitution would not avail. It might satisfy the injured man, but it could not form the basis of restored communion with God. I might restore "the principal" and add "the fifth," ten thousand times over, and yet my sin remain, for "without shedding of blood is no remission." (Heb. 9:22) Still, if it be a question of injury done to my neighbour, then restitution must first be made. "If thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother has ought against thee, leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift." (Matt. 5:23-24)*

In the second case, that is, where you have anything in your heart against a brother, why do you not act upon the Lord's clear injunction in Matt. 5:23-24, and go to your brother, in order to rid your heart of what you have against him? In the passage just referred to, the Lord enjoins us to go to our brother, not only when we have something against him, but "if thou bring thy gift to the altar and there rememberest that thy brother has ought against thee: leave there thy gift before the altar and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift." Certainly then ought you to go to him, if you have anything against him, and be reconciled to him. But instead of this you turn your back upon the altar and stay away with your gift of thanks due to God. What blindness in thus sinning against God and against your brother!

Again, "If thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath aught against thee; leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift." What is the value of this to our souls, beloved? Why that our Father will not value our offerings, as children and as worshippers, unless we are cultivating the affection of brethren; and this is quite as John says, "This commandment have we received from Him, That he who loveth God love his brother also" - there is perfect harmony between them. Our Father is working to fill a kingdom with children and with brethren - with citizens who shall know Him as their Father and each other as brethren. This was the simple purpose from the beginning, and He ever secures it. He not only brings each to Himself in love as His child, but all to each other in the sweet relationship of brethren. If we be not hallowing the confidence of brethren, our worship cannot be accepted. Our God is jealous of the rights which we have to render to each other, that we maintain affection amongst ourselves. He says, as it were, "You must come to me in the path of brotherly love, otherwise I cannot receive your gift; my altar is indeed among you, but I cannot receive your gift whilst you are without love to one another. If I see not my beloved family in order, my children in peace and love one with another, I cannot take my place amongst them." This is the gracious desire of the Father, the head of the family, "that he who loveth God love his brother also."