Matthew 18:15–17

Suppose your brother does you wrong. Perhaps it is an evil word, or an unkind action done against you. You feel it as a real personal wrong against you. It is a sin, of course. Nobody knows it, probably, but himself and you. What are you to do? At once this great principle is applied: when you were ruined and far from God, what met your case? Did God wait till you put away your sin? He sent His own Son to seek you, to save you... The flesh feels and resents wrong done against itself. But grace does not shroud itself in its own dignity, waiting for the offender to come and humble himself and own his wrong.

First of all, I must be sure that my brother has actually trespassed against me. "If your brother sins against you" — this is not if I think he has, or hearsay that he has. It is a definite case of one person wronging another. It is not a case where both parties have wronged each other, but of one alone sinning against the other.

The natural course might be to avoid him and say nothing about his fault. Or we might decide to bear the injury patiently towards the offender and, as people sometimes put it, "try to live it down." That might seem very plausible at first, and look like grace on my part. But it leaves out one all-important thing: the spiritual condition of my offending brother. Whoever may commend it, it is certainly not the Lord's way of treating the matter.

The Lord says "go," and that is what we must do.

Perhaps there is some brother whom we know is not on the best terms with the one who has injured us. We have little doubt he will listen readily to the tale of our wrongs. The danger is that in our selfishness we go to him. Yet if we cared about his soul's welfare, he would be the last person in the church we should whisper such a thing to... It is much to be feared that we are not altogether sorry to be able to punish our brother by lowering him in the eyes of others.

This governs everything in this first step: "go and tell him his fault" — literally, "convict him," bring him to conviction — "between you and him alone." Let there be no needless exposure, no pain that can be spared, nothing that would arouse resentment and so surely hinder recovery.

The Lord does not say, "If he listens to you, all your wrongs will be put right." He says, "If he listens to you, you have gained your brother." No doubt, if grace works in him, if he is truly "gained," one of the first fruits will be a strong desire to put those injuries right. But securing that must not be the motive that sends me to him. Leaving my wrongs with the Lord, I am to seek my brother's blessing.

If my errand to my brother were only to pain him, the task could easily be done without any exercise of heart. But if I am to gain him, then grace must work both in him and in me.

Supposing trespasses arise, all the resources of grace were to be tried before treating an offender as a Gentile and a tax collector.

They are a jury of appeal. Their aim is to make him feel how serious his sin is, not to prove that it is true. This step stands midway between the private talk and the full publicity of the assembly. Love would still spare the person, though it cannot spare the sin, and that is why this step is taken.

The verse says "that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses." This does not mean the person's guilt is still in question. His guilt is already settled. What must be made clear is how the offender answers this genuine effort to restore him. If this bears good fruit, then only two or three besides the offender have known about the matter. If the offender honestly judges his sin, the matter is dropped and forgotten.

The two who go along in this second step to restore a brother must have the same spiritual character as the brother who came to him first. Their coming brings still greater love to bear on him. At the same time it shows him that unconfessed sin, sin not put away, cannot be tolerated in a brother.

Is it possible that he may resist one or two who come to him as witnesses of the love of Christ? He has refused Christ pleading through one; can he refuse Christ now that He pleads through more? It may be, sadly, that he will.

How do I know that my way of dealing with him was not the cause of my failure? Perhaps our conversation showed him how I saw things. He may feel I read his conduct unfairly, or credited him with motives he knows he never had. In that case I would only have given him what he judges a fair reason for resisting me, and left him harder than I found him.

We must not let our own impressions guide us. We all know that mere impressions are very unreliable. They may be right; they may be completely false. Nothing is believed and passed on more easily than a false impression. So any judgment based on mere impressions is worthless. We need solid, proven facts — facts confirmed by two or three witnesses, as Scripture so plainly commands. (Deut. 17:6; Matt. 18:16; 2 Cor. 13:1; 1 Tim. 5:19.)

The two or three in verse 16 are the brother sinned against and the one or two others he was to take with him. They cannot act on behalf of the assembly in such a matter.

This spirit of lowliness must not push aside the faithfulness that will maintain the honour of the Lord. Faith and meekness can rebuke sin… Notice in passing how opposite these directions are to the legal spirit in which some would apply this scripture. The object is to win, not to condemn. Every means is exhausted, even to leaving the case in the hands of the assembly.

The church means the assembly of God in the place to which these all belong… So the assembly hears of the guilty person's fault. The matter has been investigated and pressed home. The church warns and pleads with this man, but he refuses to hear.

"Hear the church" in Matthew 18:17 is a favourite appeal for those who look for scriptural support for church pride, or, as they would say, its teaching office. But the context here is plain. It is only a question of local discipline in a case of personal trespass, not of teaching-authority.

The verse before calls him a brother; now he is like a Gentile and a tax collector. We are not to suppose that the man was a drunkard or a thief. What he has shown is a hardness of self-will and a spirit of self-justification. It might have arisen out of small circumstances. But on the ground of this unbending pride about himself and his own fault, God may pronounce that you are to regard him as a Gentile and a tax collector. That is, you no longer acknowledge him as a Christian while he stays impenitent… In the case of drunkenness, or anything of that kind, there would be no need for this way of dealing with it. If no one had the least question about the sin, the duty of the church is clear: the person is put away… This way of dealing is only for a case where the wrong is unknown to anyone but the person it was done against.

A Gentile no Jew would admit to any religious privileges (Acts 21:28-29); with a tax collector no Pharisee or scribe would associate. So the offender's position is clear, and what 1 Corinthians 5:13 sets out would be the only course open for the assembly. From how small a beginning such grave results might flow.

In Matthew 18:17 the word has a particular application: if an offending brother will not hear the church, the instruction is "let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector," that is, as an outsider, the Gentile being outside the privileges of Israel, as one to be avoided.

This is a question of wrong done to a brother. The passage never says that the church is to put out the one who did the wrong. It says, "Let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector." This may afterwards have to be the case as to the church, but that is not its character here. It is simply, "Let him be to you" — have nothing more to do with him… What it prescribes is a course of individual conduct.

He is the Head of His body, the church, and He is our personal Lord and Master and Saviour. He will not let us raise personal matters into church questions, or lower church questions into personal matters.

To accept these is to accept their discipline. The Lord's sanction of the gathering is the express sanction of their discipline… But these "two or three" do have authority for discipline. Woe to anyone who resists its rightful use! The words "if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector" apply to just such feeble gatherings as these.