Living for God - why is it so difficult?

By the blessed finished work upon the cross I am through grace reconciled to God. This brings the soul into a conflict, but there has been a transition from one state to another, with the same result as to conflict; but it is the second conflict now - that described in Romans 7 - and let me say that the subject of Romans 7 begins at Romans 5:12. What the word of God here speaks of is a root of evil in us, and now the man having laid down his arms finds a fresh conflict in himself. He knows and loves God; he loves Him and delights in His law after the inward man; he strives his utmost to keep in check a will that in himself he really desires to control. Thus the law says, "Thou shalt not steal." So he says, "I will not put out my hand to take what is not mine." So with the other commandments, not to bear false witness, and the like, he says, "I will not do it; I will keep myself in check." He may get the upper hand to a certain extent - "I will hinder this lust, overcome this propensity; I will have myself in control as to it." But how can I check having lusts? I may hinder the gratification of a desire, but here is the word of God like a flame, all fire before my heart and conscience. The law says, "Thou shalt not covet," not merely, "Thou shalt not give way to the desires," but, "Thou shalt not have them." Thus God comes in and shows me what I am - a poor, feeble, powerless creature, knowing good and doing evil. Every effort that such a one makes only makes it the more hopeless. "Thou shalt not have the lusts" - that goes to the root. I must have power from outside myself; for I find none in me, no help at all. So in the despair of his soul he cries to God to be delivered from himself, not for power to control this or that lust, but to be delivered from himself. "O, wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?"

Now the struggle has begun. We are determined to walk righteously, but we find that we are lame on both our feet. Our determination is to have nothing more to do with sin, but there is something in us that cries out for it with more powerful voice than that which deprecates the committal of it. The good that we would do we do not, and the evil that we abhor we do. There is an evil principle in our members at war with all the good desires of the mind, and it is more powerful than they. We now learn that, however good our intentions may be, we have no power to bring them to pass. We are captive to a power of evil that lives in the members of our body. Sin has the mastery over us, and with every member are we compelled to serve it. Our state is wretched in the extreme, and our good desires only make us all the more miserable. We would like to pursue the path of righteousness, but a terrific force of evil drives us in the opposite direction.

But more, even where there is the will, there is no power to perform what is good. The good I would I do not: the evil which I would not that I do. A gleam of light seems to illumine the darkness; the very presence of opposing forces within me proves the existence of the two natures. It takes two to make a fight any day, and I learn to take my place with the nature I have received from God, and judge that it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. Yet this only leads to a deeper, darker discovery still (v. 23). “I see another law in my members warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.” The flesh in me is, after all, too strong for me. The more I struggle with it for the mastery, it struggles with me and overpowers me. I am like a man in a wrestling match, and my opponent has me down, and, wriggle and struggle as I will, I cannot rise up. Ah! the secret is out; you have been looking for victory over yourself to overcome this lust and that passion—and how proud you would be if you had gained it. But must I not strive? you say. Strive on! Strive on! you have not come to the end of yourself yet. God has to let the weary struggle go on till that end is reached, and you lie back in all your proved helplessness over the evil within you, and look for a Deliverer outside yourself to deliver you from yourself. For, note well, it is not now, How shall I gain the victory over myself? but “O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from this body of death?”

Now, as soon as this is tried - the moment we get here, and see the law in this light - we find man at once brought in, completely hopeless and helpless. And for this very reason, that he has done the things God forbids. He is "ungodly." But not only so - he is, moreover, "without strength" This is his condition naturally, and the moment there is real desire, and the endeavour to serve God according to the law, it is found out. Supposing he desires (which I assume, and grace produces it) to serve God, and not do any thing forbidden in the law, he discovers the very principle of his nature to be all wrong. There is "a law in his members warring against the law of his mind, and bringing him into captivity to the law of sin, which is in his members;" which has selfishness for its basis, and corruption for its object. It is in himself. Hence the reason that we so often find persons crying out, "Oh, wretched man that I am!" Moreover, when he comes to see what is in himself, it is that which brings him down into despair. It is not his past sins, he could easily suppose God might forgive them; nay, perhaps, that they are forgiven, put away when he was first converted. The trial is not there. But when he feels the principle of those sins to be in himself - the principle that produced them there still, and working in him, now that he lives and "delights in the law of God after the inner man" - it is this which casts him down. And cast down he remains until he apprehends the ministry of grace.

Now as soon as this is tried - the moment we get here, and see the law in this light - we find man at once brought in completely hopeless and helpless. And for this very reason, that he has done the things God forbids. He is "ungodly," but not only so; he is, moreover, "without strength." This is his condition naturally; and the moment there is real desire, and the endeavour, to serve God according to the law, it is found out. Supposing he desires (which I assume and grace produces it) to serve God, and not to do anything forbidden in the law, he discovers the very principle of his nature to be all wrong. There is a law in his members, warring against the law of his mind, and bringing him into captivity to the law of sin, which is in his members, which has selfishness for its basis, and corruption for its object. It is in himself. Hence the reason that we so often find persons crying out, "O wretched man that I am!" Moreover, when he comes to see what is in himself, it is that which brings him down into despair. It is not his past sins - he could easily suppose God might forgive them, nay, perhaps, that they are forgiven, put away, when he was first converted. The trial is not there. But when he feels the principle of those sins to be in himself - the principle that produced them there still and working in him, now that he lives and "delights in the law of God after the inner man" - it is this which casts him down. And cast down he remains until he apprehends the ministry of grace.

First, the true character of the flesh (i.e., the old evil nature still within us), hopelessly bad. "I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) dwells no good thing" (Rom. 7:18). If "no good thing," then not even a good desire is to be found there. Yet how long it takes most of us to abandon all expectation of good or even improvement from within.

We have to look to Him for the solution of all the problems of practical moment that arise day by day in our lives, and one of our most difficult problems is how to regard the uprising of the evil nature in our hearts. This nature asserts itself in spite of the sense of God's love within us. We may have cherished the vain hope of growing out of such tendencies, and year by year of approaching nearer a state of holiness and perfection.

No Christian loves "the flesh," and there are times when the soul's hatred of it is most intense, and the agony of being overcome by it almost more than can be borne; and yet victory comes not. The reason for this is often that underneath all the desire after Christ, there is the reserve of some part of the life, or some time in the day, for self and gratification of the flesh. Augustine in his confessions tells us that he used to pray "O God make me pure, but not just now"; and many another heart has had that secret thought and desire even if the prayer has not risen to the lip.

We must remark here, that the subject treated of is not the fact of the conflict between the two natures, but the effect of the law, supposing the will to be renewed, and the law to have obtained the suffrage of the conscience and to be the object of the heart's affections — a heart which recognises the spirituality of the law. This is neither the knowledge of grace, nor of the Saviour Christ, nor of the Spirit. The chief point here is not condemnation (although the law does indeed leave the soul under judgment), but the entire want of strength to fulfil it, that it may not condemn us. The law is spiritual; but I, as man, am carnal, the slave of sin, whatever the judgment of my inward man may be: for I allow not that which I do. That which I would I do not; and that which I hate I practise. Thus loving and thus hating, I consent to the law that it is good. It is not that I do the evil as to moral intent of the will, for I would not the evil which I do; on the contrary I hate it. It is the sin then that dwells in me, for in fact in me (that is, in my flesh — the whole natural man as he is) there exists no good, for even where there is the will, I do not find the way to perform any good. Power is totally wanting.

“But how is it,” says the troubled soul, “that I can't make myself any better?” I try hard enough to be different, but it is fruitless, disappointing work, and I am often ready to give all up in despair. I know that the flesh still lusts within me, and that every trace of evil in me springs from it; but still I feel I must have goodness for God, and how can this be if I can't in some way overcome the badness of the flesh?” This is the language of thousands of perplexed believers. Let us, by the Spirit's help, seek to meet their difficulty.