How should we treat our enemies according to Proverbs 25:21-22?

Romans 12:20. "Therefore, if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink; for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head." The true Christian, notwithstanding his inoffensive walk, may have enemies, but he must not be the enemy of any man. Such is his position of grace in this world. He is called by the loftiest motives to be the true friend of all mankind. Instead of being his own avenger, he bends before the storm, looking to God, and seeks to render good service to his enemy in his need and distress. "If thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink." He not only abstains from vengeance, he manifests love. How truly sublime is the standard of the grace of God for His children's ways! He returns good for evil, kindness for injury, blessing for cursing. The expressions, feed him and give him drink, are figurative of all the duties of benevolence. By these means he seeks to conquer the enmity of his persecutors, and even change them into his friends.

"For in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head." Amongst the many interpretations which have been given of this somewhat difficult passage, we accept the one most generally received, and which best suits the whole context. To heap coals of fire on an enemy's head is to care for him feast him, and treat him kindly, as the most effectual means of subduing him, of melting him down. Who ever conquered an enemy's heart by revenge? How many have been conquered by love? What was it that dissolved the hardness of our unyielding hearts? A Saviour's love. "Let the effort be tried," says Charles Bridges; "surround the intractable metal beneath and above; not only putting it over the fire, but heaping coals of fire upon it. Few hearts are so obdurate as not to melt under the energy of patient, self-denying, burning love. If thine enemy will not recompense thee for all the good done to him, concern not thyself with that. The Lord shall reward thee. The God of love will honour His own image in His own children."

A comparison of these two scriptures will give the key for the interpretation of heaping coals upon an enemy's head. Let it, however, be first remarked that the verse 20 in Romans 12 is a citation from Proverbs 25, with the omission of the words, "the Lord shall reward thee." This is interesting as showing one of the pre-intimations of grace which are scattered here and there in the Old Testament. When the Psalmist cries, "Let burning coals fall upon them," it is evident from the connection that he desires judgment upon his enemies; and this would be in entire accordance with the principles of righteous government, inasmuch as his enemies are the enemies of Jehovah. But under the reign of grace all is changed; and hence the apostle writes, "Dearly-beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is Mine; I will repay, saith the Lord." Not only so, but, while leaving an enemy in the Lord's hands, our own hearts, instead of calling down judgment, are to go out in tender compassion towards him (compare Matthew 5:43-44); and thus the apostle continues, "Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head." In showing him all possible kindness, in this representing the heart of God towards ourselves when we were yet enemies (see Romans 5:8), we shall cause him, with the blessing of God, to feel the effect of coals of fire on his head. Now, as we have seen in the psalm, the falling of coals of fire on the heads of enemies is a symbol of judgment - judgment, in that case, from the hands of God. In Romans, likewise, the heaping of coals of fire on the head of an enemy in the way described will retain the meaning of judgment - but of self-judgment produced in the heart, and not judgment visited upon the head, of the enemy. What we learn therefore is, that just as God's grace met us in all our enmity, melted us down, and reconciled us to Himself through the death of His Son, so the manifestation of grace and needed kindness is calculated to break down and win an enemy by begetting in him compunctions of conscience for the attitude he has assumed. But we need to be very much in the truth and power of grace to carry out this apostolic injunction.

"If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink; "For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head; and Jehovah shall reward thee. "The north wind brings forth rain; and an angry countenance a secret (or, backbiting) tongue. "Better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a contentious woman and a house in common. "Cold waters to a thirsty soul — so good news from a far country. "A troubled fountain and a defiled well [is] a righteous one that totters before the wicked. "To eat much honey [is] not good; and to search weighty things [is] a weight. "He that [has] no rule over his own spirit [is] a city broken down, without wall."

The first of these maxims must have startled an Israelite ordinarily; it rises above nature and law which deals with the evil feeling and ways as they deserve. Here it is "the kindness of God," and His call to act on a goodness which is seen in Him and can only flow from Him. We see it literally acted and on a large scale when divine power drew a Syrian host, sent to apprehend Elisha, blindfolded into the capital city of Israel, and the king asked the prophet, Shall I smite? shall I smite? But the mouthpiece of God said, No; "set bread and water before them, that they may eat and drink and go to their master." No wonder that the bands of Syria came no more into the land of Israel. What was strange then, and always must have been to man's mind, is now so congenial to the Christian that the Apostle was led to cite the words as a rule for any and every day. "Therefore, if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink; for in so doing, thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head." Rom. 12:20. It was God in Christ, it is God in the Christian. Is it obsolete in Christendom? May it not be in Christians? It is too precious to lose.

In verse 22 the trial of hunger follows that of heaviness and trouble. "If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat: and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink: for thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the Lord shall reward thee." Does this not teach us that the true, solid, fruitful ministry of Christ is to go on in spite of all adverse circumstances? Did the Lord Jesus himself not do this very thing when He multiplied the loaves and fishes? He provided for all the tired and hungry crowd, many of whom proved to be His enemies, and He knew it. May we learn this deeply, that whether in temporal things or spiritual, we who have the bread that men need ought to be ready always to willingly give it to them when in their time of need they are willing to receive it. As coals of fire on the head, so such treatment should burn into the conscience of an enemy, whether he may be converted by it or not. But the Lord will reward such reality of faith.

More than this, however, we are to show positive goodness in return for evil. This is not easy for pride. If an enemy is in need, we ought to be ready at hand for his help. This will act as coals of fire on his head, burning into the conscience. Not indeed that this supposes any kind of cringing to him; but we are to act in the same lowly dignity of faith and kindness as we would to a friend in need.

Heaping coals of fire on an enemy's head by kindness (Prov. 25:21-22; Rom. 12:20) becomes a test to him (as metal is tested by the fire), the kindness shown him will either bring about contrition and friendship, or harden him yet the more.

Thus we see that true Christian kindness brings matters to a point. If the persecutor is softened, broken down, by the grace of the persecuted, so much the better for both; the end is gained; all is happy. But if he harden himself, and despise the patience and love that returns good for evil, his guilt is increased, and his judgment is of God.

The burden of this beautiful chapter of precepts is plain. We are never to conquer evil by evil, but to treat our enemies with kindness. In the world we shall often have to experience evil in some form, but we must never allow ourselves to be provoked to the indulgence of a spirit of retaliation. The first display of temper is a defeat; the enemy has gained a victory. Men in general suppose that to resent an injury is only to show a proper spirit. But the Christian's rule is Christ; not to be overcome by evil, but to overcome evil with good.*

Finally, as realizing the strife that is going on between good and evil, we are to abide in the good, assured that here is that which alone can overcome it. "Evil for evil" can never overcome evil. We are to be careful to have," things right before all men," as the word here means, so as to give no occasion to the adversary. As to one's own spirit, as far as it depends upon us, (as we familiarly say, "It takes two to make a quarrel,") we are to be "at peace with all men." Nothing can invade this sanctuary of ours unless we open it to the invasion. The spirit of revenge will surely do this. On the contrary, we are to give place unto wrath, not meet it with wrath, for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will recompense, saith the Lord." We must not take the judge's place, and we must not desire to do so. Love is still that which overcomes here. "If thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink; for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head." "Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good."

The closing verses of the chapter give more general instructions as to what becomes us according to God's mind. Lowliness of mind; openness and honesty; a peaceable spirit; absence of the almost universal spirit of retaliation and vengeance; love, so active as to "retaliate" by kindnesses, and so overcome evil with good; these are pleasing to God, and pleasing to us in so far as our minds are transformed into conformity to His. The figure of "heaping coals of fire" on the head of one's enemy is doubtless suggested by Psalm 140:10. The Psalmist prayed for it in keeping with the age of law in which he lived. Our verse shows us the Christian way of doing it.