How is a woman's desire for her husband a curse (Genesis 3:16)?

"Unto the woman he said, Increasing (greatly) I will increase thy sorrow and thy conception: in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; unto thy husband [shall be] thy desire, and he shall rule over thee. And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto thy wife's voice, and hast eaten of the tree [of] which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it, cursed [be] the ground for thy sake: in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all thy life's days; and thorns and thistles shall it bring forth to thee, and thou shalt eat herbage of the field; in sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread till thy return unto the ground, for out of it wast thou taken. For dust [art] thou, and unto dust shalt thou return" (vers. 16-19).

As with the serpent, Jehovah Elohim speaks to the woman of the present governmental effects of her sin. Woman, more than any other female, was to have sorrow multiplied in her pregnancy and in her bringing forth offspring. Woman, not man, is the victim of reiterated sorrow in this respect. It was righteous, however sad. She first listened to the enemy, despising God and His word; then she drew her husband after her into the ditch. Henceforth she was to be subject; like a younger brother to an elder (Gen. 4:7), her desire was to be to her husband, and he should rule over her. The fall would make this hard. How different the original position of companionship! Sin made God a judge: before it, He simply blessed. But grace in Christ leaves Him free now in better and eternal blessings for faith.

But, though God is love, He is also light, i.e., He is holy and true. Therefore, after having announced those first glad tidings, in fallen man's hearing, in His crushing judgment upon the serpent, as the author and root of all evil, He proceeds to pass His righteous sentence upon Adam and his wife: first upon the woman — for she was the first to sin; nay, she had also persuaded her husband into it, which appears to be evident from the words the Lord spoke to Adam; "Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree," etc. Therefore sentence is first passed upon her. How invariable, from the very first, are God's eternal principles in judgment, as in all His ways! His solemn sentence runs thus: — "I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children: (what a difference to His first words to Adam and his wife in the 28th verse of the first chapter of Genesis!) and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee,"

True and righteous, indeed, are His judgments! Where she had sinned, there she was punished. Her lust had conceived and brought forth sin; therefore her sorrow and conception was greatly to be multiplied, and in sorrow she was to bring forth children; she had forgotten her place as Adam's "help-meet," and taking the lead, had misled him into that terrible first sin of disobedience against God, and thus ruined his and her own happiness for ever! Therefore God's just sentence is — "Thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee."

Another thing to notice here is that there is no promise to man. As regards a great deal of the Arminian system, much of which is infidelity, all of it is cut up by the roots. There is no promise to man. The promise is a future judgment pronounced on Satan, which has no application to Adam; for it is clear he was not the seed of the woman. Then on the woman it is merely the sorrows of childbirth, and she is made, not simply a companion, but subject, to her husband.

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the Head of the Church: and He is the Saviour of the body. Therefore as the Church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing." (v. 22-24.) Part of the curse pronounced on the woman at the fall was, "Thy desire shall be [subject] to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." (Gen. 3:16.) Christianity confirms this order, but so remodels it that all trace of the curse disappears. The subjection of the believer to the Lord, or of the Church to Christ, is no curse or bondage, and these are now the models of wifely subjection; for she is to be subject unto her own husband, "as unto the Lord," and as "the Church is subject unto Christ." How beautiful to see a human relationship, and one too which derives a part of its character from the fall, thus transformed into a type of the mystery in which God displays His "manifold wisdom" unto "the principalities and powers in heavenly places."

3 Love is used, I know, in human language for desire, in the best and most amiable sense. But though the same word be used in the sense of an inferior to a superior, or even an equal, this is in connection with a motive - is moved.

But love, as goodness itself, is blessed in itself and free in its actings, unless want or misery draw it out; but it has not a motive which characterises it by its object. This is always the case in desire, even when it is in no way evil, but has the character of affection. In ordinary desires it forms so far the character; money, power, pleasure, give their character to the man who seeks them; but though love be used as to them, it is evidently in a lower sense, and, where desires are, the desired object so far rules over us. Where love exists in a divinely-formed relationship, it is, or may be a just affection. I say, "may be," because it may run into a mere desire and be idolatry, and the relationship falsified. But when rightly in exercise, save as man in certain aspects represents God, it looks up, and characterises the person in the affection. It is conjugal, filial, and the like. A husband and a father in certain respects represent God in those relationships, and so far it partakes of what He is. But in the closest relationship where it is not this, it has the character I speak of: "Thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee."

I think I have remarked that it is not, cannot be said we are love, though it be said we are "light in the Lord." Love must be sovereign and free in its nature, where true and right. As creatures we love with a motive, but this is another thing. But divine love must, in its nature, be free and sovereign. Hence, even in human affections, it is not said "Wives, love your husbands" - it would, in Christian condition, be out of place. "Thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee" - that is another thing; but to the husband it is said, "Husbands, love your wives." And though this be in a given relationship, yet it is from the higher position in kindness and grace, and towards the weaker vessel. Hence also we must add to brotherly kindness (philadelphia), love (agape) - a higher principle which connects us with God.

3 But God will have sin out, and trace it to its source. "And Jehovah Elohim said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat. And Jehovah Elohim said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life: and I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel. Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; in the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken; for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return" (v. 13-19).

Having seen from creation that woman's place is one of subjection to her head and companionship with him, we will now consider what part she had in the fall of humanity in the garden of Eden, and what place she was given in consequence thereof. From the divine account in Genesis 3, we learn that the serpent tempted mother Eve to take of the forbidden fruit and that she was the one who took of it and ate thereof and also gave unto her husband who likewise ate of it (v. 1, 6). Because of this, God said to Eve, "In sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee" (Gen. 3:16).

Here we see the first woman, Eve, leaving her natural place of dependence and taking the lead. Instead of repelling the serpent's advances and seeking the help and protection of her God-given head she acted in independence and was beguiled by the serpent into disobedience of God's command. Therefore, God definitely pronounced that her place was to be one of subordination to her husband.

Having dealt with the serpent the Lord God turned to the woman. A twofold judgment fell upon her; the result in God's government of her sin. Childbirth was to become a time of sorrow and suffering for her, and she was more definitely made subject to the rule of her husband. There has been much scheming in our day to get rid of both these things, but nothing can really abolish them.

But judgment has to be pronounced. The woman, having been first in the transgression, is the first to hear her sentence. Her sin, moreover, had elements peculiar to itself; and these would seem to entail their distinctive punishment. She had usurped her husband's place, and forgotten her own, in undertaking to answer the seducer; and now subjection to her husband is a part of the sentence she receives. Sorrow in the conception and bringing forth of her offspring is that by which the female of the human race is distinguished, and that in all lands, from the female of all the inferior tribes of animals. And even afterwards, how large a proportion of the sorrow and trial connected with children devolves upon the mother! In the sentence on the woman no notice is taken of her excuse; but Adam, having indirectly blamed God Himself, in the words, "The woman whom thou gavest to be with me," his excuse is made the very ground of his condemnation. "Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife," etc. The sentence on Adam, as lord of this lower creation, is that the ground is cursed for his sake. Instead of yielding spontaneously all that could minister to his comfort and pleasure, hard labour is the only condition on which henceforth it should produce the ruder necessaries of life. "In sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life." Surely this is a part of that "vanity," that "bondage of corruption," to which, "not willingly, but by reason of him who hath subjected the same," the whole creation has been consigned. (MS. of the late) W. T. (Trotter?)