How can I forgive those who sin against me?

Paul continues: ‘if any should have a complaint against any; even as the Christ has forgiven you, so also do ye’. This may be the most difficult of these injunctions. It presumes that my brother (or my sister) has sinned against me. How did our Lord react when He was nailed to that shameful and cruel cross? He prayed for His enemies: ‘Father, forgive them’ (Luke 23:34). He sets the example. Therefore, our standard is: ‘as Christ has forgiven [us]’! And how has He forgiven us? Firstly, He did it completely. Secondly, He did it immediately. Thirdly, He did it willingly — from the depthsof His heart. How do we forgive one another? Yes, unfortunately, it is the case that we sin against each other. If so, we should be ready to confess (in case we have sinned) and to forgive (if the other has sinned). To forgive means to grant the grace to take something away. Therefore, the one who forgives exercises grace, and the one who is forgiven receives grace.

I do not speak about this seventh point in a light-hearted way, when believers live and walk together there are sometimes difficulties, we may be deeply hurt in our heart by something a brother or a sister does and we say, 'I cannot forgive this'. Of ourselves we cannot do this, but we can when we realise how much God has forgiven us in Christ. When our Saviour was on earth He told the parable in Matthew 18 of the man who had a great debt and could not pay and he was forgiven and did not have to pay his debt, but then the same man went to another man who owed him a little debt and put him under pressure to pay. This is a very serious story, but does not this sometimes happen amongst believers? We have been forgiven such a great debt in Christ, and yet we are sometimes unable to forgive our brother or sister.

As brought to God, I have learned what God is as to His ways of grace (verses 31 and 32): "Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil-speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: and be ye kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." Did God come and clamour against you in justice? He sent His Son to give Himself for you, and has forgiven you. There is a man that wronged me; I am going to forgive him, as God forgave me, and (if I am near enough to God to do it) to show out what we have been learning is the joy of our souls.

FORGIVENESS, verses 21-35. Peter's question as to how often he should forgive his brother went far beyond what we should be prepared to go naturally, but the Lord's answer shows that there must be no limit to forgiveness, "Be ye kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God also for Christ's sake has forgiven you," Ephesians 4:32. The parable of the unmerciful servant that follows calls for careful consideration. It may be that it has a dispensational bearing and depicts the state of unbelieving Israel among whom the Lord had ministered with such grace, not imputing their transgressions unto them, but it also exposes what human nature is, and by Him who knows the heart, and the soul that is taught of God will feel the need of continually cleaving to the Lord to be preserved from a vindictive spirit and to be like his Master carrying forgiveness to all.

Peter then asks our Lord, "How oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?" (ver. 21.) We had instruction how we were to act in the case of a personal trespass. But Peter raises another question. Supposing my brother sins against me over and over, how often am I to forgive him? The answer is, "I say not unto thee, Until seven times; but, Until seventy times seven." In the kingdom of heaven — not under the law, but under the rule of the rejected Christ — forgiveness is unlimited. How wonderful — the deeper holiness revealed in Christianity, is at the same time, that which feels with deepest love, and goes out with it to others! So we find here, "I say not unto thee, Until seven times," which was Peter's idea of the largest grace, "but, Until seventy times seven." Our Lord insists that there really was no end to forgiveness. It is always to be in the heart of the Christian.

Peter now comes once more to the foreground. He is again the spokesman of the disciples. The mention of the word "church" most likely revived in him the memory of the words the Lord had uttered after Peter's confession of Him as the Christ, the Son of the living God. Peter had, of course, then no knowledge of the full meaning of that which came from the lips of the Lord Jesus. Then Peter came to Him and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Until seven times? Jesus says to him, I say not to thee until seven times, but until seventy times seven" (verses 21, 22). The question is in closest connection with what the Lord had said. But He had not said a word about forgiving a brother. The word "forgive" was not used once by our Lord; He had spoken of gaining a brother who had sinned. Did Peter perhaps mean how often he should forgive his brother before the case should be taken up in the order as indicated by our Lord? We think it is now specifically the question of personal grievances we may have against a brother. Peter thinks and speaks of self. The Rabbis had given the following rule: "Pardon a man once, that sins against another; secondly pardon him; thirdly pardon him; fourthly do not pardon him," etc. (Bab. Joma.)

Peter, quite well acquainted with the traditions of the elders, most likely thought of this and he desired to show his appreciation of the gracious words he had heard by declaring his readiness to forgive his brother not three times, but twice three times and a little over. Until seven times? he asks. Surely, he must have thought the Lord will be pleased with such generosity and brotherly love. Ah, how little he knew the Grace of Him whom he had followed. The answer of the Lord must have been a revelation to Peter, "until seventy times seven." This is unlimited forgiveness. This God in Christ has forgiven us and forgives us, and the same Grace, unlimited Grace is to be shown towards the brother who sins against me. It is the same blessed word God the Holy Spirit gives us in the Epistles, "forbearing one another, if any should have a complaint against any; even as the Christ has forgiven you, so also do ye" (Col. 3:13). "And be to one another kind, compassionate, forgiving one another, so as God also in Christ has forgiven you" (Eph. 4:32).

(1) The first object in dealing with a brother who has sinned is, as we have seen; restoration. If he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. Forgiveness is necessarily grounded upon the "hearing," for that alone would show restoration. But Peter has a question here: how often is there to be forgiveness? The Rabbins had already decided as to this, and their limit was three times. Peter has so far appreciated the spirit of the Lord's words as to more than double this number. Seven was the perfect number: shall his forgiveness of an offending brother be "till seven times"? But the Lord answers, He has put no such limit; and then He puts one which is practically none at all: "I say not unto thee, until seven times, but until seventy times seven." I suppose it would test Christian grace in us, to go even half way to such a boundary line; but the Lord does not mean us seriously to contemplate this. Could it be a question how often I should gain my brother? Peter is after all still viewing things from the stand-point of personal rights. He must still be seeking in some measure his own; but "love seeketh not her own." Hence the personal element still rules here ― "sin against me, and I." The Lord takes up, therefore, this very side of things, but to turn it in another direction: "how oft shall I sin against God, and God forgive me?" If there be no limit here, and I am in the sense of this, how can this question of Peter be asked at all?

When Peter asked the Lord if he should forgive his brother seven times, “Jesus says to him, I say not to thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven” (Matt. 18:22). That does not exactly mean 490 times, but it means go on doing it as long as there is a needs-be. It does not mean that we are to condone sin against the Lord, but when it affects ourselves there is to be the spirit of forgiveness ever in our hearts, and readiness to express it.

The immensity of the truths thus unfolded evidently penetrated Peter's soul as he heard them, and the desire to clearly know the extent of the responsibility of acting in grace, where a brother was in question, led to his query, "Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?" The largest idea of grace that Peter had was "till seven times." That certainly was beyond the day of law, — which demanded righteousness, and knew naught of forgiveness, — and may be beyond the practical state of many of our souls, but it will not do for Christ. Peter's question was this: Suppose my brother sins against me, over and over again, how often am I to forgive him? The Lord's answer was: "I say not to thee, Until seven times; but, Until seventy times seven." Under the reign of law forgiveness was unknown, it was "an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth"; but in the kingdom of heaven, and under the rule of a rejected, a heavenly Christ, forgiveness takes its character from Him, and is to be unlimited. The Lord insists that practically there is to be no limit to it. It is to flow out constantly. It is the reflection of God's own ways with man.

It must be remembered that this is a question of sin against us, not against the Lord. The Church cannot forgive any sin against the Lord until He has forgiven it, and He only forgives on the confession of sin. But, as believers, we are to forgive each other unlimitedly. "Till seventy times seven" is to be the Christian's motto in this respect. This is really divine. God will not be outdone in forgiveness; but even a man on earth — a saint, of course — is called on to forgive after this heavenly pattern. May we all learn so to walk. If we only did so walk, what joy would fill our own souls, and what happy assemblies of saints would be everywhere found. Alas! we are very few of us up even to Peter's "seven times." We think we do well if we forgive once or twice; anything beyond that could not reasonably be expected of us. Peter's question, however, reveals an altogether different line of conduct to be the command of our Lord. May we each one heed it.

This same truth is found in more than one of the epistles. Paul, writing to the Ephesians, says, "Be ye kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ hath forgiven you. Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children." (Eph. 4:32; Eph. 5:1.) It is not as in our version, "as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you," but as we have given it, "as God in Christ." For the apostle here presents God in the riches of His grace, acting, without motive, except in Himself, and needing therefore no inducement to forgiveness; but acting solely from His own heart — these forms of display being but the manifestation of what He is as seen in redemption. But he presents Him in this way as our standard, and hence he says, "Be ye imitators of God as beloved children." As in the gospels, so here, the children are desired to present in their conduct the character of God as their Father. And thereon the apostle shows us God as love, and God as light — the two words which tell out all that God is; and he says to us, "You are also to display love and light." Thus he says, "Walk in love," (v. 2); and, "walk as children of light." (v. 8.) Christ Himself is brought in as the example of love in His having loved us, and given Himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling savour; for in this act of sacrifice He is the expression of the whole heart of God. And inasmuch as we are now light in the Lord we are to walk as children of light, and the fruit of the light (it is light, not Spirit) is in all goodness, and righteousness, and truth — in such a walk proving what is acceptable unto the Lord.

We may well, in the face of such scriptures, challenge ourselves as to whether these desires of God for us are sufficiently borne in mind. The temptation to measure ourselves by one another is so great that we cannot be too frequently reminded that God Himself, according to what He is as displayed in redemption as love and light, is our standard for walk and conduct. And with what motives are we herein furnished to become imitators of God as beloved children! Thus, for example, we are to forgive one another even as God in Christ has forgiven us; we are to act from our own hearts in grace, even as God acted in our salvation — seeking no motive outside of ourselves (save indeed in the God of our salvation), but finding our delight in the expression of that unspeakable grace of which we ourselves have been the subjects. It is, however, by no means intended that we should always pronounce our forgiveness to those who have sinned against us; but as to our own feelings we are ever to be in a state of forgiveness. We are never to retain inwardly the sin of a brother. However we may be sinned against, before God we are instantly to forgive; and then, as already explained, when the one who has committed the wrong, as our Lord taught Peter, comes and says, "I repent" (Luke 17), forgiveness is to be granted him. God Himself acts in this manner. "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." and we, because His children, are to act on the same principle. Grace retains nothing, always forgives; but for the offender's own sake, for the glory of God indeed in the first place, it waits for the sinner's self-judgment before it openly absolves from the sin.