What does the Bible say about unforgiveness?

Matthew 18:23-35 does not refer to the question of “eternal life.” Its primary application is to the Jew and his mode of dealing with the Gentile. Notwithstanding the abounding mercy which God had shown to the Jew, he would not listen to the idea of mercy to the Gentile. The consequence is, as the apostle declares, “The wrath is come upon them to the uttermost” (1 Thess. 2:16, see the entire context). The apostate nation will never be forgiven. A remnant will be saved through grace and become the nucleus of the restored nation.

No doubt, we professing Christians have to learn a very important lesson from this scripture — the urgent necessity of cultivating a forgiving spirit. If we fail to act in grace, we are in danger of losing the sense of grace in our own souls. How dreadful for one who has been forgiven all his sins to drag a fellow sinner to the judgment-seat on account of a little money! Let us note particularly the closing words of our Lord, “So likewise shall My heavenly Father do also to you, if ye from your hearts forgive not everyone his brother their trespasses.” This marks the application of the entire passage to our Father's governmental dealings with us from day to day.

It is a terrible thing for a professing Christian to harbor an unforgiving spirit. We do not see how it is possible for such to have any real sense of grace or any communion with God; nor should we wonder to find such given over to the most tormenting feelings as the expression of God's judgment upon a wrong state of heart. May we, beloved friend, ever cultivate a loving, genial, tender, forgiving spirit. We may rest assured our God delights in this. God loves a cheerful giver and a frank forgiver, because that is precisely what He is Himself, blessed forever be His name! Back

3) Governmental Forgiveness is what the parable in this chapter deals with, and closely connected with it is the supreme importance and necessity of forgiveness by believers of each other. Any other attitude is contrary to the whole spirit of Christianity, and there is no evidence that the man who cherishes an unforgiving spirit is a Christian at all. Having been forgiven our "great debt," we ought to forgive each other without limit. To do otherwise is to grieve the Holy Spirit of God.

There is also a governmental forgiveness in connection with the government of God here below in time, both on God's part, and toward one another. Isa. 40:1-2; Luke 17:3; James 5:15-16; 1 John 5:16. We are called upon to forgive one another; and if we indulge in a harsh unforgiving spirit, we must not expect our Father to forgive us in His governmental dealings. Matt. 6:14-15.

Now the Lord specifies an unforgiving spirit as intolerable to our Father in His daily government of His sons. And no wonder. It is to go back from grace to law, from Christ to wretched self. Hence, as in the prayer, He urges grace toward those who may offend us ever so painfully, and love which He commends to our loyal and tender warning of its lack practically as hateful in His eyes. "For if ye forgive men their offences, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your offences."

O you who keep up your resentment, and brood over the offences (often exaggerated if not imaginary) of others, beware. You, a Christian, if so, are in utter default of this characteristic duty, as unlike Christ as you can be. Need one say that you are as unhappy as you are hard? Is it nothing to your high spirit, degrading as this is to a Christian, that "your heavenly Father will not forgive you your offences"? Trifle not with so bad and proud a state, and no longer grieve the Holy Spirit of God who sealed you. Let not the sun set upon your wrath, nor give room for the devil.

The forgiveness spoken of in verses 14 and 15 is connected with the debts of verse 12. In the heavenly Father's holy government of His children the unforgiving spirit comes under His chastisement. If someone commits an offence against us and we refuse to forgive, we shall miss God's governmental forgiveness. It is not a question here of forgiveness for eternity, since those to whom the Lord was speaking were disciples, with whom that great matter was already settled.

I heard of a Christian man who was dying and not happy. The cause of the unhappiness was that for years he had nursed unkind feelings towards a fellow Christian. Some quarrel had happened between them, and neither had had the grace to forgive the other. Conscious that he was soon to be in the presence of the Lord, he sent for the brother, and confessing his hard feelings besought his forgiveness, and at the bedside of the dying man these two, long divided in heart, were reconciled, and with the reconciliation returned the joy of the Lord's approval and of happy, holy fellowship with each other. It is probable that the lack of joy and freshness in many Christian lives, and much of the futile energy put forth in service, can he traced to the same sort of spirit that had robbed these two of joy for years. It is a matter about which every Christian heart should be exercised, for the fact is, we are not in communion with the Lord if we nurse an unforgiving spirit. If I have hard feelings on my heart against any saint on earth, I am out of communion with the Lord no matter how great my zeal may be in His service or extensive my knowledge of His truth. And the things of God cannot prosper in the hands of anyone who is out of communion with the Lord. The deadness in many companies of Christians may be traced to this same cause; roots of bitterness have been allowed to develop and bear their horrid fruit, and what is of Christ has languished and died. Ecclesiastical correctness will not compensate for this. God looks at the heart, and to be externally right and inwardly wrong is an abomination to Him.

Forgiveness is the very genius and spirit of Christianity. It is the way that God met us at first. He forgave us for Christ's sake. We could not been in His presence at all, and certainly could not have been happy there on any other ground, but if we do not forgive one another we cannot have the joy of the place grace has given us even though we cannot lose the place. And Christ has forgiven us, and as He has forgiven us we are to forgive one another (Col. 3:13). Think of the measure of His forgiveness, He has not only pardoned all our sin and enmity against Himself, but He has made us members of His body; this is the measure and character of His forgiveness, and this is the force of the passage in Colossians 3. He can have nothing against us for ever since we are members of His body, for how could the head of a body maintain a quarrel with or have hard feelings against any member of it. How intimate is our relationship with Him, it could not be closer, for we are part of Himself; this could not have been had not all our transgressions been forgiven and all distance and reserve removed. But equally so are we members of another, and to be unforgiving, impatient and hard toward one another is to deny in practice the whole truth of the body of Christ. To be unforgiving disturbs everything, throws everything out of gear, hinders all joy and progress, grieves the Holy Spirit, dishonours the Lord and delights the devil.

This same truth is found in more than one of the epistles. Paul, writing to the Ephesians, says, "Be ye kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ hath forgiven you. Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children." (Eph. 4:32; Eph. 5:1.) It is not as in our version, "as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you," but as we have given it, "as God in Christ." For the apostle here presents God in the riches of His grace, acting, without motive, except in Himself, and needing therefore no inducement to forgiveness; but acting solely from His own heart — these forms of display being but the manifestation of what He is as seen in redemption. But he presents Him in this way as our standard, and hence he says, "Be ye imitators of God as beloved children." As in the gospels, so here, the children are desired to present in their conduct the character of God as their Father. And thereon the apostle shows us God as love, and God as light — the two words which tell out all that God is; and he says to us, "You are also to display love and light." Thus he says, "Walk in love," (v. 2); and, "walk as children of light." (v. 8.) Christ Himself is brought in as the example of love in His having loved us, and given Himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling savour; for in this act of sacrifice He is the expression of the whole heart of God. And inasmuch as we are now light in the Lord we are to walk as children of light, and the fruit of the light (it is light, not Spirit) is in all goodness, and righteousness, and truth — in such a walk proving what is acceptable unto the Lord.

We may well, in the face of such scriptures, challenge ourselves as to whether these desires of God for us are sufficiently borne in mind. The temptation to measure ourselves by one another is so great that we cannot be too frequently reminded that God Himself, according to what He is as displayed in redemption as love and light, is our standard for walk and conduct. And with what motives are we herein furnished to become imitators of God as beloved children! Thus, for example, we are to forgive one another even as God in Christ has forgiven us; we are to act from our own hearts in grace, even as God acted in our salvation — seeking no motive outside of ourselves (save indeed in the God of our salvation), but finding our delight in the expression of that unspeakable grace of which we ourselves have been the subjects. It is, however, by no means intended that we should always pronounce our forgiveness to those who have sinned against us; but as to our own feelings we are ever to be in a state of forgiveness. We are never to retain inwardly the sin of a brother. However we may be sinned against, before God we are instantly to forgive; and then, as already explained, when the one who has committed the wrong, as our Lord taught Peter, comes and says, "I repent" (Luke 17), forgiveness is to be granted him. God Himself acts in this manner. "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." and we, because His children, are to act on the same principle. Grace retains nothing, always forgives; but for the offender's own sake, for the glory of God indeed in the first place, it waits for the sinner's self-judgment before it openly absolves from the sin.

Two things are necessary if our prayers are to be heard and answered: faith towards God and forgiveness towards all others. The Lord Himself has joined them together in these memorable words, and we must not put asunder what He has joined together. Other Scriptures teach us the same thing, 1 Timothy 2:8 for instance, though there a third necessity is brought in — "holy hands", personal holiness, "without wrath", no hard feelings towards others, and "without doubting" faith in God. Herein may be the secret of many unanswered prayers. Two brothers kneel in the same prayer meeting; their being there indicates that they have some faith in God, but they have hard and unforgiving thoughts towards each other; their prayers are vain and empty words.

We must search our hearts, for pray we must; there never was a time in our day when prayer was more needed, both in private and public; it is useless to pray in public if we do not pray in private, and we must not forsake the assembling of ourselves together for prayer. We must pray in faith Godward, believing that He is, and that He is the rewarder of them that diligently seek Him, but He will not hear us unless we forgive one another. He has met us with full forgiveness, cancelling all our debt to Him, and we must bear His character towards all, whether near at hand or afar off, whether brother or sister in the Lord or man of the world.

At the close of Matt. 18 we have a parable which teaches us that a man who asserts his rights is ignorant of the character and proper effect of grace. The servant was not unrighteous in demanding what was due to him; but he was ungracious. He was totally unlike his master. He had been forgiven ten thousand talents, and yet he could seize his fellow by the throat for a paltry hundred pence. What was the consequence? He was delivered to the tormentors. He lost the happy sense of grace, and was left to reap the bitter fruits of having asserted his rights, while being himself a subject of grace. And, observe further, he was called "a wicked servant," not because of having owed "ten thousand talents," but because of not having forgiven the "hundred pence." The master had ample grace to settle the former, but he had not grace to settle the latter. This parable has a solemn voice for all Christians going to law; for although in the application of it, it is said, "so shall my heavenly Father do to you, if you, from your heart, forgive not every one his brother their trespasses," yet is the principle of general application, that a man acting in righteousness will lose the sense of grace.

It is important for us, as Christians, to imitate God when anyone commits some wrong against us, and forgive the wrong even as God has forgiven us all the wrongs we have done to Him. In fact, He says, that if we do not forgive others, He will not forgive us. We have, therefore, to forgive, if we are to be forgiven. This is a perfectly just principle, and one which God has laid down, with reference to the conduct of His people.