What does the Bible say about respect?

Romans 12:10. "Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love, in honour preferring one another." The love spoken of in the previous verse is probably love to all men; here brotherly love is particularly specified. The teaching of the Spirit in this verse seems to be, that Christians should cherish for each other, as brethren in Christ, a love as sincere and tender as if they were the nearest relatives. And this love is to be manifested, not merely in repaying the attentions of others, but in anticipating them in acts of respect and kindness. All Christians are brethren, but as they belong to different families in this life, and called by different names, there is nothing to distinguish them but brotherly love. If this fails, what is left? Our Father is in heaven. He who loves the Father, loves the brethren also." Whosoever believeth that Jesus is the Christ is born of God; and every one that loveth him that begat, loveth him also that is begotten of him." 1 John 5:1.

But here, on a point of such practical importance, and one so difficult to practise, it may be well for thee, my soul, to pause, and inquire what the difference is between brotherly love and brotherly kindness. The apostle says, in writing to the Hebrews, "Let brotherly love continue." But he nowhere says, Let brotherly kindness continue. "Love never faileth." Kindness must in some cases. A brother, through the power of Satan, may be walking disorderly, or he may fall into error, and so become a proper subject of discipline; towards such an one our conduct must be changed, though our love remains the same, or even stronger. The mind of the Lord on this point is plainly given: "Mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned, and avoid them … For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at all but are busybodies. If any man obey not our word by this epistle, note that man, and have no company with him, that he may be ashamed, yet count him not as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother." (Rom. 16; 2 Thess. 3.) The persons here spoken of are still in communion; hence the difficulty in cherishing brotherly love, and at the same time exercising a wholesome discipline towards them. When it comes to a case of excommunication, the perplexity is less, but our love should be none the less. See 2 John.

"In honour preferring one another." Instead of waiting, as we often do, for others to notice us, before we notice them, we should strive to be beforehand with them in the manifestation of our christian respect, or "honour." There is in some a false modesty, in others a secret pride, which leads them to slip quickly out of a meeting, thereby preventing those from speaking to them who gladly would. And this having been continued for some time, the brethren are complained of as cold, and as showing no love to strangers. But, pray, who is at fault? Let the word of the Lord decide. In honour preferring one another simply means, to go before, to lead, to set an example. The meaning is not exactly to esteem others better than ourselves, as in Philippians 2:3, important as such lowliness of mind is, the mind that was in Christ Jesus; but rather that we should seek to take the lead in these comely ways of our Father's house. And the heart that meditates most deeply on the love of Christ to usward, will be the first to feel that our love to the brethren is not to be governed by cold formalities, but by the measure, and pattern of His love to us. Acts of kindness, the expression of sympathy, fellowship, whether in joy or in sorrow, forbearance, long-suffering, charity, are to be among the many fruits of the Spirit which should abound for the refreshment and blessing of our brethren in Christ.*

(V. 10). The next two exhortations concern our relations with one another. We are to "be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another". Our affection to one another should flow from our relationship as "brethren", and not simply because of some quality which may be attractive or advantageous to us. Brotherly love would make us ready to let others have honour rather than grasping it for ourselves.

Then there is the circle of “brotherly love” — the Christian circle: in this we are to be “kindly affectioned one to another.” This is tender consideration as in a closely attached family. As regard honor, rather than seeking it for ourselves, let us delight in paying it to other saints — drawing attention to their virtues and work rather than our own.

"In brotherly kindness affectionately kind one toward another; in honour anticipating each other; in diligence not slothful; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord; in hope rejoicing; in tribulation enduring; in prayer persevering; distributing to the necessities of the saints, studious of hospitality." (Ver. 10-13.) Here we begin with the call to tender interest among brethren mutually; and so also not exactly to prefer or esteem others better than ourselves, as in Philippians 2:3, important as such lowliness of mind is, the mind that was in Christ Jesus. It is here a question of not merely repaying the courtesy of others, but of taking the lead in treating them with honour and thus by example leading them on in these comely ways. Then, instead of allowing slothfulness, the apostle insists on zealous diligence. Lest this however should be only outside work, he immediately adds "in spirit fervent," and these with a blessed motive to both, "serving the Lord." It is well known that Griesbach, following a few MSS, versions, and fathers, joined with Erasmus in reading καιρῳ for Κυρίῳ, contrary to the mass of authorities and almost all other editors. It was, we may boldly say, infirmity in judgment; especially as the internal evidence is at least no less adverse than the external. Serving the time (rather "season" or "opportunity") seems at least somewhat unworthy, is little suited to the context in itself, and easily susceptible of the worst abuse. It is no fair instance of a more difficult and therefore preferable reading. The two words may have been confounded by an ignorant scribe, who took the abbreviated form of κῶ meaning καιρῳ instead of Κυρίῳ. Possibly it may have been wilfully altered, but we should be slow to suspect this when we can otherwise account for a change.

(2.) We have another word in Ephesians — cited, it is true, from the law, but here reaffirmed as to its moral force — to express what is due from children to their parents. That word is "honour." "Honour thy father and mother." If obedience describes the responsibility of children as to conduct and action, "honour" expresses rather what should be their habitual feeling towards their parents. It is a peculiarly solemn word; for it is the same as that used by our blessed Lord when He says "that all men should honour the Son, even as they honour the Father. He that honoureth not the Son, honoureth not the Father which hath sent Him." (John 5:23.) In fact, it is a term descriptive of true filial piety; for to honour their parents children must not only acknowledge their position, and their right of parental control, but they must esteem and reverence them, as set in their place of authority by the Lord. Hence the child that honours his parents will love to pay them the outward expressions of homage and respect, will prize their counsels and instructions, obey them in their absence as in their presence, avoid everything that could give them pain or sorrow, rejoice to defer to their feelings and desires, and will in every possible way, by word, manner, and action, rejoice to accord to them that filial respect and attention which belong to the place to which they have been divinely appointed.

The last six commandments deal with Israel's responsibilities toward others. Thus the fifth commandment is "Honor your father and mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may be well with you in the land which the Lord your God is giving you" (v.16). Ephesians 6:1 refers to this as "the first commandment with promise." Israel soon sadly failed in this, as is exampled in Absalom, son of David, who rebelled against his father and sought to kill him (2 Sam.17:1-4). His days were not long on the earth. It may be that a father is hard and cruel, but his children are still to honor him; a mother may be even irresponsible, but her children are to honor her that is, to show proper respect. Though this is not a legal commandment for believers today, yet Ephesians 6:1 shows it to be of moral importance still. Our motives are not to be those of submitting to legal demands, but of delighting to please God.

The aged among the people were to be held in honor and respect. In eastern countries today people are more careful about this than in the west. Also, when a stranger came to reside in Israel he was to be treated with respect and courtesy, in fact, Israel was told to “love him as yourself” (v. 34). If this was true in Israel under law, how much more emphatic it should be for Christians who are “under grace.”

Reverence is everywhere enjoined in Scripture. Children are commanded to honor, their parents (Eph. 6:1-3). Wives are charged that they reverence their husbands (Eph. 5:33); and as to old age, it is commanded, "Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honor the face of the old man, and fear thy God: I am Jehovah" (Lev. 19:32). Reverence to rulers is also required, as it is written, "Render therefore to all their dues … fear to whom fear; honor to whom honor" (Rom. 13:7).

The matter is tersely summed up in verse 17, and we find what becomes "the servants of God." As to all men — honour. As to the brotherhood, i.e., all believers — love. As to God — fear. As to the king, the representative of all human authority — honour. Carrying out this we do the will of God and silence foolish adversaries.