What does the Bible say about nagging?

"A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike."

This has been considered to be a dropping through a leaking roof, which is not uncommon in a land of flat roofs if rain should be unusually heavy. Only those who have experienced it know how irritating and wearying this can be. But such is the character of an argumentative woman. She is out of her place, not displaying the godly qualities of submission and of a meek and quiet spirit. This kind of contention is to have no place in the assembly of God: it is of the world. Timothy is strongly warned against allowing any such spirit among the saints of God.

The next words take up the afflictions of family life, and give us salutary judgment. It is not merely a fool here, but "a foolish son," and he surely is "the calamity of his father." There is another who brings the calamity nearer still and more constantly, a contentious wife. Her cross and fractious spirit is a continual dropping. Not a spot in the house is safe from her turmoil.

Hence the importance of so looking to the Lord for a gracious and faithful counterpart. If house and wealth are an inheritance of fathers, as it generally was in Israel, a prudent wife was from Jehovah. What were the rest, however choice or abundant, where the meekness of wisdom failed in her who shared it all? If all else materially lacked, what comfort and happiness in having one from Jehovah who had His light within and around her!

A contentious woman is of necessity a trial to every member of the household, but most of all to her husband. The house may be roomy, but only jars follow her; and if visitors call, it is but to increase his pain. No better place is there for him than to find a corner in the housetop; there can quiet be found, and, for piety, access to the Highest.

The next verse expresses the wretchedness of having to share a house with a contentious woman, which made a corner of the housetop an agreeable escape from such a din.

Further, we hear of the sad hindrance to peace and comfort in the home from the presence of a contentious and irritable woman. Who has not seen the misery of having to do with such a one presiding? To dwell with a termagant of this kind is worse than living in a desert land (v. 19).

"Better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and angry woman" (v. 19). It is sad if a woman has not learned to control herself, and a man must be greatly lacking in discernment if he marries such a woman.

"The north wind driveth away rain: so cloth an angry countenance a backbiting tongue." In this chapter it is most noticeable that the truth presented presses upon us those principles that make for unity, concord, peace; and all that would militate against this must be dealt with severely. While the west wind in Palestine brings rain from the sea, the cold clear north wind will drive it back. Rain is, we know, a necessity at times, and it has already spoken to us of the ministry of the Word of God by the Spirit. But on the other hand, one may use his ability of speech in a thoroughly improper way, as we have also seen, and this becomes like a pelting, vicious cloudburst. "A backbiting tongue does harm rather than good. Let us deeply consider that all evil comes from using God-given abilities and blessings in wrong ways. But we must not listen to a backbiter. He is worthy only of the cold anger of the north wind. If we treat him in this decided way, it may stun him, but it will drive away his evil speaking. The first manifestation of discord and disunity is in our words, as is seen in 1 Corinthians 1, where the apostle urges the saints "that ye all speak the same thing" etc. (verse 10). But, the need being present, Timothy is told, "Reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine."

It is better to (dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house." This may appear startling just in this place but it is in thorough keeping with the subject of the chapter. Backbiting, if not judged, may become a habit, a veritable chronic disease that renders the guilty offender unmanageable and quarrelsome. How much better to dwell in quietness in a small and despised place than in large and imposing circumstances with such a woman. But there is a most striking analogy here. if we compare 2 Timothy 2:20-22. "But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and of silver, but also of wood and of earth; and some to honor, and some to dishonor. If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honor, sanctified, and meet for the Master's use, prepared unto every good work." That which, in 1 Timothy 3 is called "the house of God, the Church of the Living God" has in 2 Timothy so degenerated as to include not only true believers (vessels of gold and silver), but of wood and of earth. Vessels to dishonor! Who can deny this unseemly public character of the professing church today? It is as though a beautiful mansion, once prepared for one family only, has fallen into a state of disrepair and ruin, and has become a rooming house for not only the family, but for strangers also, with a contentious woman occupying a large amount of space, who may want everyone boarding at the same table, agreeing to disagree, attempting a show of unity while only discord and loud words prevail. How sad, but true, a description of the public state of that which professes to be the church today,-"a brawling woman" instead of "a chaste virgin," espoused to the Lord Jesus.

But every professing Christian is in this "great house," and cannot leave it. What then is the exercised child of God to do? He is to purge himself from fellowship with this mixture. Better to have a clean place "in the corner of the housetop" not boarding with the ungodly, but rooming in quiet separation from this, though making full room also for fellowship "with them that call upon the Lord out of a pure heart." Wonderful provision of grace! Though the place may seem very small, and fellowship limited, vet in being truly gathered to the Name of the Lord Jesus, with those similarly attracted by His blessed Person, the unity will be precious, much as we may sorrow over the fact that all God's saints are not concerned for and enjoying the proper unity of the Spirit of God.

The opening word contrasts the immense superiority of a peaceful household with hard fare, over one where plenty is found, embittered by contention, or, as is here energetically said, "full of the sacrifices of strife." Love and peace may abound through Christ where is little else; only unhappiness abides where He is unknown, were all there that wealth can supply.

Solomon had sad reason to write that "a foolish son is the ruin of his father (v. 13), for his son Rehoboam certainly acted foolishly after taking the throne. Perhaps Solomon felt himself to be a ruined man before he died. In fact, it is most likely that he wrote from experience when adding, "the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping." For it seems certain that in his having 700 wives, at least some of them were contentious. Does it not seem that a home would hardly be a home if a man had both a contentious wife and a foolish son?

As far as I understand your position, it is one of "holding yourself aloof," or nothingarianism as to church relations. Without doubt a dry morsel and quietness therewith is better than a house full of the sacrifices of strife; as it is better to dwell in the corner of a house-top than with a contentious woman in a house of society.

But I read unmistakably in the last Epistle of the great apostle who alone communicated the truth of the church, that grace gives a wholly different resource in view of the disorder and dangers of the last days. Circumstances may indeed here or there leave one isolated; but isolation is neither the revealed provision nor the legitimate aim. The firm foundation of God standeth, having this seal, The Lord knew those that are His, And, Let every one that nameth the Lord's name depart from unrighteousness. This is individual and of deep moment as things are. But all does not end there. "Now in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver, but also of wood and of earth; and some unto honour, and some unto dishonour. If then one purge himself out from these (i.e. the vessels unto dishonour), he shall be a vessel unto honour, sanctified, serviceable to the Master, prepared unto every good work." And this you own and have acted on. We are not tied to ecclesiastical corruptions where they are sanctioned constitutionally and admit of no removal. One must purge oneself out, if one cannot purge the evils out. But is this all? While the apostle bids his beloved child flee the lusts of youth, wide as they are and some of them subtle, he adds, "and pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those that call on the Lord out of a pure heart" (2 Tim. 2:19-22). Thus one may and ought to look for companions and fellow-witnesses called to like fidelity. Never should one contemplate isolation. The Holy Spirit bids one by grace to desire and expect communion of saints, however great and general may be the ruin of Christendom.