What does the Bible say about gossip?

Quite as evil as the foolish talker is the tale-bearer, of whom we next hear. "The words of a tale-bearer [are] as wounds, and they go down to the chambers of the belly." Even if they were strictly true, which is rarely the case, they are in every respect injurious, and fall under the censure of evil speaking. They wholly lack a moral object or a loving way. It is at best gossip, and for the most part the mere indulgence of talking of things which right feeling would rather conceal. The issue is to inflict wounds which pierce very deep, and where they are least curable.

Moreover, to put the younger widows on the list would only encourage them in idleness and thus become a snare, for their idleness would lead them to wander from house to house as “gossipers and meddlers” (N.T.). A gossiper repeats tales and tittle-tattle to the disadvantage of others; a meddler interferes in the affairs of others, freely expressing opinions about matters which are not his concern. In neither case is there any thought of helping the needy, or seeking to put right any wrong, but rather the indulgence of the flesh in its love of slander. Gossipers and meddlers, whether repeating what is false or true, are in either case “speaking things which they ought not.” The preacher says, “He that goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets (Proverbs 20:19); and, again, “Every fool will be meddling” (Proverbs 20:3). The law says, “Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people” (Leviticus 19:16). Christianity warns us against “wandering about from house to house” as “gossipers and meddlers”.

"Mary." You do not tell us where you live, but we fear the evil to which you call our attention is not confined to your locality, or to the special class to which you refer, namely, "unmarried females." The sin of "backbiting" prevails everywhere, and amongst all classes, to an appalling extent. It is an abominable, yea, a diabolical evil. It has been truly said, "The backbiter injures three persons, namely, himself, his hearer, and the subject of his tale." If I have any fault to find with a person, he himself ought to be the very first to hear of it. How little is this attended to! We meet a person with a smile and a shake of the hand, and no sooner have we parted company with him, than we commence to disparage him in some way or another. "I am determined," said an old saint, "never to speak of a mans virtues to his face, or of his faults behind his back." Noble determination! But alas! alas! how little is it acted upon! We generally reverse the order; we flatter people to their face, and blacken them behind their back. The Lord deliver us from this sinful and shameful practice! It is most assuredly of the devil. We want to be more faithful in speaking to people — more gracious in speaking of them. If we see anything wrong in a person, let us go directly to him and speak plainly; and if we have nothing good to say of him, let us graciously draw the curtain of silence around him. This would save a world of mischief; it would prevent untold sorrow and heart-burning. "Speak not evil one of another, brethren." This is a seasonable word, and yet, alas! how few act upon it. There seems such a want of common honesty, such an absence of even manly frankness, such meanness and cowardliness in saying behind a man's back what we would not dare to say to his face. Christians should flee from all this. It is most contemptible. No doubt "unmarried females" are more exposed to this evil, than those whose hands are well filled with domestic work. We gather this from the pungent words of the apostle, in 1 Timothy 5:13: "Withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house: and not only idle, but tattlers also, and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not." It may be said that this passage applies to "the younger widows;" but then the spirit of it applies wherever the evil exists. It is a good thing to be fully employed; it saves one from a great deal of evil, and from backbiting amongst the rest; against which we solemnly warn the reader. The devil is a backbiter — the chief of backbiters, and all who indulge in the practice are doing his work. We would recommend you, dear friend, and all our readers, to adopt Solomon's remedy in all cases of backbiting. He says, "The north wind drives away rain; so doth an angry countenance a backbiting tongue." Never listen to a backbiter, for if you do you are a partaker of his evil. Let us remember that the way of the Lord is to speak faithfully to us, but graciously of us. Let us seek to imitate this, and not be found doing Satan's work.

"He that covereth a transgression seeketh love, but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends" (verse 9). To cover a transgression does not mean to ignore sin. How he who has sinned and is in transgression is to be dealt with is given to us in Galatians 6:1-5. To act in the spirit of love towards one who has sinned is Christ-like. To repeat the matter, gossip about it, harp on the shortcomings and failure, is Satan-like, for he is the accuser of the brethren.

We may be sure that the Lord would have us learn much from this scene. In Paul's behaviour we learn how we should stand for the truth at all costs; but if we have to withstand a brother, then it should be to his face, and not behind his back. Too often the reverse obtains, and the man who is judged guilty of fault is the last to hear of it, — and that perhaps only by a side wind, — while amongst others his supposed errors are freely discussed and canvassed. All this is wrong. If we have anything to say to a brother, let us go to him and say it to his own face first of all, and let us say nothing behind his back that we would not say to his face. If this rule was observed what sorrows would be saved in the Church of God, where, alas! frequently, whisperers have had encouragement rather than rebuke. God says, "A whisperer separates chief friends" (Prov. 16:23). I believe "chief friends" were more than ever cemented in holy friendship by the godly course Paul took here, and which we should all imitate.

In the middle of the chapter what we may call social sins and errors are prohibited. It is well for us to observe these things for they are not unknown in Christian circles. Especially would we desire to emphasize verse 16. Who can estimate the trouble and sorrow caused by talebearers among the saints of God? It is connected here with standing up against the "blood," or "life," of one's neighbours. To such a length will tale-bearing go. But notice the next verse. We are to rebuke our neighbour and not suffer sin upon him. The instruction evidently is: if you discern wrong or sin in your brother, go straight to him about it, and do not talk against him behind his back. If we Christians acted thus how much good would be gained and how much evil avoided!

But there is a very insidious form of evil, and if possible more mischievous still, where the harm is done slyly by evilly affecting others. What worse than the whisperer or talebearer here compared to the wood that acts as fuel to the fire? So we are told, where no wood is, the fire goes out; and where is no whisperer, strife ceases.

Sins of the tongue begin this section. The first relates to raising or receiving (see margin) a false report. How much mischief has been thus perpetrated, and even in the church of God! There are few who would not be horrified at the thought of raising a false report. Such a sin would be condemned by all upright minds; not even a man of the world would extenuate its guilt. But, as the margin indicates, the word has a wider meaning, and will include also the receiving of a false report. Many who would shun the first sin fall into the snare of the second. A report is heard, and is apparently true, and is circulated, whereas had any trouble been taken to verify it, its falsehood might have been detected. Christians, above all, should be careful as to this, refusing every report to another's discredit, unless vouched for by unimpeachable testimony. The responsibility is thus cast upon the hearer, as well as the repeater, of reports. If this were remembered many a slander would be nipped in the bud, many a tale-bearer unveiled, and many a breach of fellowship avoided. The antidote is found in that charity which "thinketh no evil; rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; beateth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things." (1 Cor. 13:5-7.) Then false testimony is condemned — a sin known by the modern name of perjury. This injunction, as well as that in the next verse, and in verses 3 and 5, would seem connected with the administration of justice. Nothing escapes the eyes of a righteous God, no evil tendency or influence, and hence He makes provision for the conduct of His people in every circumstance of their lives. It is difficult to be alone in opposition to a multitude, though the cause may be just. With the Lord before the soul it becomes simple. On the other hand, a poor man is not to be countenanced in his cause; i.e. when it is unjust, nor when it is just shall his judgment be "wrested." (v. 6.) Some are liable to influences from the rich, and some from the poor, especially in a day of democracy and contempt of lawful authority. But the heart must be free from both, and it will be free if in obedience to the word of God. Interspersed with these commands, a special direction is given concerning the ox or the ass of an enemy. The anger of the heart must not be exhibited against an enemy's cattle, nor must help be refused to the cattle of another on account of their owner's enmity; "but if thou see his ox or his ass going astray, thou shalt surely bring it back to him again; and wilt thou not, in so doing, heap coals of fire upon his head?" So, too, if an ass overburdened be met with, "though his owner hate thee, thou shalt surely help him." The compassions of God flow out to His dumb creatures, and His people should in all things be a reflex of Himself.

But what if another believer comes to us with an evil report about a brother or sister? Ask that person to stop speaking this way. How much evil speaking would die in its tracks if we did this. Of course, the person may want to unburden him or herself but we should only allow this if we are truly ready and willing to help them resolve the difficulty they have with the brother or sister in question. We should remember that even in cases where sins have been committed there is no blessing in sharing the details unnecessarily with others. The circle of information should be kept as small as possible — to those who can deal with it righteously. Our Lord’s instructions in Matthew 18:15–17 make this very clear. Peter writes, ‘before all things having fervent love among yourselves, because love covers a multitude of sins’ (1 Pet. 4:8; see also Proverbs 11:13 and 20:19).

If we do listen (hopefully because we do want to help) we should not repeat it to a third party, even if we suspect it may be true. Nicodemus said to his fellow council members when they were saying bad things about the Lord Jesus: ‘Does our law judge a man before it have first heard from himself, and know what he does?’ (John 7:51). Sad to say, in this day of grace we often deny fellow believers the protection the law gave people in Israel, but who of us has not done this? Do we stop to think that we may even be sharing matters that have already been resolved in the presence of God?

This is what men do between each other now-a-days, to reach some end they have in view. I dare say they may not perhaps think so: but the largest portion of the sorrows between men, or even between brethren, are caused by some hint, behind backs; or some whispered story, to which the heart of others is ready to lend an ear; which causes distrust to spring up between souls. Distrust engendered, dislike follows, but more especially in the one who has wronged the other. It is exceedingly hard to trust a heart you have wronged. “A lying tongue hateth those that are afflicted by it”; and “He that repeateth a matter, separateth very friends”; and “He that did his neighbor wrong, thrust him away,” etc. These passages (kindred in their character) are but the workings of this principle of evil. Hence the true saying, “The injured may forget; the injurer, never!”