What does the Bible say about friends?

Fine is the description of the friend and precious just as far as it is realized. He loves at all times; sad the blank of not having one uncapricious and constant, whatever the changes of this passing scene, nearer still of a brother born for adversity, where the strain is greatest! None fills up the sketch to perfection but our Lord Jesus, who indeed in His infiniteness went beyond what lips can utter or heart conceive.

But one thing that stands out in the chapter and arrests by its attractiveness is the friendliness of our Lord and the wisdom of that friendliness. There was a circle at Bethany where He was free and at home, it was He who said, “Our friend Lazarus,” not your friend, or My friend, but “our friend.” The disciples were included in that happy circle. Where friendship is true and real there is no restraint and a friend may be better than a brother. Certainly this “Friend who loves at all times” “sticks closer than a brother.” We do not reveal our secrets to strangers, but to a friend whom we love and trust we tell our inmost thoughts and unburden our cares. The basis of friendship is confidence and love.

It is the property of real love, to prove its activity; if it abide hidden when called to speak or work according to the heart, it betrays self rather than true affection. Even if there is a faultiness, love is bound to give "open rebuke." Indifference passes for much in this world, but it is the reverse of love, and cares for self, when it hides to spare danger and yet pretends affection.

A friend's wounds, on the contrary, are faithful, for God's will is thus done, even though misunderstood and resented for a while. An enemy betrays himself by the very profuseness of his kisses. God is not in such a display, but too often no more than partisanship in a human cause.

Select only decided Christians to be your friends. Be sure your companions are strongly on the Lord's side. A man is known by the company he keeps. Stay clear of people with loose opinions and lax morals. Your companions will influence you either for good or for evil.

True friendship does not change. Personal feelings will often ruin a friendship when such feelings are allowed to dominate. But let us not be guilty of forsaking a friend if he should leave, at least let us not cause a separation. How precious a character is constancy, fidelity, faithfulness! In this case, while a brother spoken of here is of course a natural relative, the "friend" speaks not of natural relationship, but of another relationship willingly assumed, and therefore applicable to spiritual fellowship. Shall we dare to forsake saints whose fellowship God has given us, just because of personal feelings, irritations, jealousies? - or merely because we desire easier circumstances or more congenial fellowship? But unwavering stability will require proper self-judgment and exercise of soul: it is not natural nor mechanical.

Interestingly, verse 24 is translated in J.N.D.'s version, "A man of many friends will come to ruin, but there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother." To have one faithful friend is far better than having many friends, for there will be no unity among others as regards what they may approve. The one Friend in this verse who remains closer than a brother is of course the Lord Jesus. He will not flatter us, nor will He betray us, but is faithful and true in everything. He is always a Friend of believers, and He assures us, "You are My friends if you do whatever I command you" (John 14:15). Of course, if we are disobedient, we are not acting as His friends at all. May we be truly His friends, just as He is our Friend.

We are speaking, of course, of the world-system. If it be a question of the people in the world, then we read, "God so loved the world." The world-system is the point here, and it is in a state of deadly hostility to God; so much so that friendship with the one entails enmity as regards the other. The language is very strong. Literally it would read, "Whoever therefore is minded to be the friend of the world is constituted enemy of God." It does not say that God is his enemy, but the breach is so complete on the world's side that friendship with it is only possible on the basis of enmity against God. Let us never forget that!

We do not need to enlarge upon this beautiful story of the further devotion of Jonathan to David. What friendship and affection is here! Indeed the chapter contains one of the most charming incidents in this book. When David told Jonathan of his great danger, Jonathan refused to believe it. But David knew there was but a step between him and death. The conversation which took place in the field is most pathetic. Both were men of faith putting their trust in Jehovah and hence this great affection. Jonathan also was deeply conscious of David's destiny as the Lord's anointed. Verses 14 and 15 bear witness to this. "And thou shalt not only while I live show me the kindness of the LORD, that I die not. But also thou shalt not cut off thy kindness from my house for ever, no, not when the LORD hath cut off the enemies of David every one from the face of the earth." Then Jonathan caused David to make a covenant with him, for he loved him as he loved his own soul. And Jonathan had to taste his father's anger. Vicious are Saul's words to his own son, and in wrath he threw a javelin at him to smite him. How this illustrates Satan's hatred, both against Christ and those who are one with Him, as David and Jonathan were one.

*Including, of course, an intimate acquaintance with the plague of our own hearts, and the power and subtlety of the world, the flesh, and the devil. Bitterly have some of us learnt these lessons — more bitterly far than God intended, because going to the war single-handed, we have at every point been borne to the ground, and when fallen had to rise unhelped, alone. Had we; instead of being knight-errants, stood in an associated band, as God commanded us, our experience would have been gained at less cost to ourselves, and oft-times less dishonour to our Captain. Two are better than one, for the one will lift up his fellow: for woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for who shall lift him up? Union is strength, for thereby our joys are increased, and our sorrows alleviated, by intercourse and love. We weep with those that weep, and rejoice with those that rejoice.

Greater love none has than to lay down his life for his friends. The love of God in Jesus went infinitely beyond this; but then necessarily it stands alone, and it is meet that it should. We ought to lay down our lives for the brethren, as we are taught elsewhere. But where is the worth of such a theory if we fail in everyday going out of heart to common wants and sufferings of God's children (1 John 3:17-18)? The Lord at once binds love up with obedience, without which it is but self-pleasing, not having Him in it or before the soul. "Ye are My friends if ye do what (ever) I command you." It is not reconciling enemies He speaks of, but why He calls us His friends. Obedience is the character and condition. Nor does He here indicate how He stood as our friend when we were enemies, but He calls us His friends if we practise what He enjoins on His disciples.291

Is this all? Far from it. He treats us as friends according to His perfect love, for He lets us into His secrets, instead of merely pressing our duty. "No longer do I call you bondmen, for the bondman knoweth not what his Lord doeth; but you I have called friends, because all things whatsoever I heard from my Father I made known to you." He who of old was called "the friend of God" enjoyed this intimacy with his Almighty protector in the midst of the doomed races he lived amongst, a separated and circumcised pilgrim; and so it is with His own now that the Lord deals in still more lavish grace; for what did He keep back? In another sense it is our boast to be His bondmen, as one said who was pre-eminently separated to the Gospel of God. But none the less — indeed, very much more truly — do we enter in, and value and act on the free communication of His love if we are habitually obedient, as we may see in Joseph of old or in Daniel later. It ought to be, it is in principle, the cherished privilege of the Church thus to know His mind, and by it to interpret the tangled web of human life or even the world's changing fortunes; but practically we must be exercised and constant in obedience if the privilege is to be a living reality and not a bare title. Christendom has given it up, counting it nothing but presumption, and content to walk by sight, not by faith, in denial of its privilege.