What does the Bible say about caring for our old parents?

The general instruction of the passage is quite plain. Widows 60 years old and upwards without relations to support them were to be "taken into the number," or "put on the list," as receiving their support from the church if they had been marked by godliness and good works. The church is to relieve those who are "widows indeed" but not others. How wise is this ordering!

Other instructions come in by the way. Notice how clearly it is taught that children and descendants (the word is "descendants" rather than "nephews") are responsible for the support of their parents. Thus they shew godliness or piety at home. Let us emphasize this in our minds for it is easily forgotten in these days of "doles" and other forms of public support. The denunciation in verse 8 of the man who avoids or neglects this duty is very severe, showing how serious a sin it is in God's sight. There may be men quite renowned for piety in public who are nevertheless branded as worse than an infidel for lack of this piety at home.

All this is most important, for alas! not only the Christian public, but those, who profess to be real Christians as well, think little of letting their parents and near relatives be chargeable to the Church, while they themselves live very comfortably, but make the frivolous excuse that they cannot afford to support them. Maybe, this excuse will not be found valid at the judgment-seat. Nothing will excuse such. If the parents are in want, it is the plainest duty of the children to take in such, and share and share alike. Even more distant relatives in need should not be neglected, as is so often done.

Not every widow was to be given the same honor, but if she were "a widow indeed" she was entitled to particular attention and respect. She is one who, while feeling the sorrow of her widowhood, nevertheless puts her confidence in the Living God, and manifests her dependence upon His love and grace, by prayer and supplication consistently. If she were in any need, this "honor" would certainly involve the alleviation of those needs by temporal support. Yet, if she had children or descendents, these were certainly responsible for her care, and they should learn to show piety at home by relieving her need, in some measure returning the care of the mother or parents in former years. God expects and accepts this. It is, of course, evident that if this were callously ignored by descendents not in the assembly, then the assembly would be responsible. But if the widow lives in self-indulgence, she is dead while she lives, and in such a state she could certainly claim no support from the assembly. Indeed, their supporting her in such a case would be an unseemly encouraging of her irresponsible ways.

In the verse quoted (1 Tim. 5:4) "piety" has the sense especially of that affectionate duty and respect, which is so becoming in young believers towards their elderly relatives, and the more so where (as in the text) that relative is a widow. The apostle wrote, "If any widow have children or nephews ['descendants' is said by scholars to be the better word], let them learn first to show piety at home and to requite their parents: for that is acceptable before God." From the general terms used, it may be seen that the apostle, without specially mentioning anything, refers to whatever is due from the younger to the elder members of the family.

Next comes the important case of those who had lost their husbands, and the more so as women were in the old world of that day: "Honour widows that are widows indeed." Such is the introductory exhortation, and therefore the word used, "honour", is expressly of the most general bearing. Some if not many might not need material proof of care; but due regard was to be paid to all that were really widows. By this he means that they lived in a way which marked their habitual sense of this loneliness and that they bowed to it as from God. The later ecclesiastical class may have been founded on such a passage as this; but no such thing really existed as yet so far as scripture informs us. The context makes plain the meaning of the real widow. She had no immediate relations to take care of her, and therefore was the more to be an object of honour; and if destitute, that honour would certainly imply support more or less according to her need. But it is a mistake to limit honour to such a provision, as many a real widow might have no such necessity. "Honour" here as elsewhere must be preserved in its own proper and broad meaning.

"But if any widow has children or descendants, let them learn first to show piety to their own house and render requital to their parents; for this is acceptable in the sight of God" (ver. 4). Such a widow in distinction from those of verse 3 is commended to the immediate relatives, who must learn their duty if they did not know it. Singular to say, most of the ancient Fathers as well as some of the modern Germans, including Winer, understand the widows to be the persons thus to learn: so Chrysostom, Theodoret and others among the Greeks, Jerome, etc., among the Latins, and even Luther and Calvin of Reformation times. But the Syriac stands with others in the true view that it is the children or grandchildren who are called to learn, as best agreeing with the context, besides being of intrinsic soundness morally. Affectionate and pious respect was due from the younger to the widow of their family; and herein lay the strict sense of rendering requital. The church was never intended to swamp the family. Rather should the grace and truth which came by Jesus Christ deepen the sense of every duty as well as enlarge the sphere of active love.

Among our English translators Wiclif of course is misled by the Vulgate: "But if any widow hath children of sones, learne she first to govern her hous …". Tyndale translated ἔκγονα "neves"; and so it is in the Protestant versions that followed down to the Authorized; which word at that day seems to have been used for grandsons or descendants generally, though now restricted to the issue of a brother or sister. It is no mistake in the common translation, therefore, but only an antiquated usage which seems best replaced by "descendants." The Rhemish Version, as usual, cleaves to the error of the Vulgate: "let her learn first to rule her own house …" The true sense we have seen to be the duty, not of the widow, but of her immediate kin in descent, though as usual the apostle puts it in the largest possible form. If the ἔκγονα or descendants were exhorted, it is not merely the χήμα or widow who is to be cared for, but οἱ πρόγονοι, the progenitors.

Of this, Ruth is an illustration, for Naomi does not strike one as being a particularly helpful, hopeful, or cheerful person to live with; seeming rather to have been of a peevish, bitter spirit, with a readiness to blame God for the results of her own backsliding. But Ruth, who had come to trust under the shadow of the wings of the Lord God of Israel, doubtless was stedfastly minded to keep His commandments, of which one was, "Honour thy father and thy mother, that it may be well with thee, and that thy days may be long in the land" — and in keeping His commandments she found great reward.

Lack of consideration for parents and aged people, on the part of professed disciples of Christ must be specially objectionable and displeasing to Him, Who in the hour of His own bitter need, thought of His mother's sad heart and provided for her future comfort by entrusting her to the charge of the disciple whom He loved.

No attainment spiritually, intellectually or socially, can in the slightest degree dispense any Christian from the obligation to honour, in the fullest sense, parents, and those whose age and infirmities make claims upon our respect. Moses commanded, "Thou shalt rise up before the face of the old man." Are we stedfastly minded in this as in all else to act according to God's revealed will?

Hence the more earnest expostulation of verse 22, and from both sides. "Hearken to thy father that begot thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old." How sad to fail in reverence to parents, and especially to the one who had the chief care and love unfailing when the child most needed both! Oh! the shame of despising one's mother when she is old, and ought to have still more honour!

"Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old."-PROV. 23:22.

"Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old" (Prov. 23:22).

1917 244 "And he said unto them, Full well do ye reject the commandment of God, that ye may keep your tradition. For Moses said, Honour thy father and thy mother; and, He that speaks evil of father or mother, let him die the death: but ye say, If a man shall say to his father or his mother, That wherewith thou mightest have been profited by me is Corban, that is to say, Given to God, ye no longer suffer him to do aught for his father or his mother; making void the word of God by your tradition, which ye have delivered: and many such like things ye do" (Mark 7:9-13, R.V.).