What does the Bible say about being a Christian wife?

There is similar instruction for wives, for theirs is the subject place, certainly not as slaves to a master, but as joined to their "own husbands," a most-intimate and precious relationship. Because he is her "own," this is an incentive for her genuine, heartfelt subjection. Of course, if he demands that she do wrong, she must not submit to this; but otherwise a spirit of cheerful subjection is that which honors her Lord. Her husband may be an unbeliever, not obeying the Word of God. But she is to obey nevertheless, for it may be that by this very means the husband will be won to the Lord. Her godly subjection pervading her entire manner of life is itself an evidence of the power of the Word of God over her; and she may win him without preaching the Word to him. This is much more becoming on the part of a wife. It is called "chaste conversation coupled with fear," in other words, a manner of life free from adulteration, having the wholesome fear of God in view.

The injunction laid upon the wife in this passage is that of submission to her husband: “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” This habit of feminine subjection is unpopular in this twentieth century, nevertheless the Christian wife is exhorted by the highest authority to practise it; and, however unfashionable in worldly society such obedience may be, she cannot escape her responsibility to render it as to the Lord to Whom she is accountable for her conduct.

The Christian wife is to be in subjection to her husband. If he is a Christian he obeys the word and she obeys him. A most excellent and delightful arrangement made according to the wisdom of God! Subjection, be it remembered, does not mean inferiority. In business partnerships two men may be equal partners and yet one is recognized as the senior with whom the final decision rests. So in the marriage bond the man has been creatorially fitted for the senior, directing place in the partnership, the woman for the subject place, though she is an heir together with her husband of the grace of life, and a sharer together with him in his exercises and prayers. If the husband loves and honours his wife as a fellow-heir and partner, and she honours and obeys him, an ideal marriage is the result.

But, as the first verse indicates, some believing women may have husbands who, not being converted, do not obey the word. In this case, the converted wife is still to act towards him as the word directs. She, at any rate, is to be a Christian woman and let her Christianity shine in her pure manner of life (v. 2), her avoidance of worldly artifices for self-adornment and self-display (v. 3), her meek and peaceful spirit, which is so great a thing in God's estimation (v. 4), and her subjection to him, coupled with the doing of good and a spirit of calm confidence in God (vv. 5, 6). By such "conversation" or "manner of life" many a husband has been won "without the word."

Wives also are to be subject to their husbands, and husbands to honour their wives; they are heirs together of the grace of life; their prayers are to be unhindered. If the wives have unbelieving husbands, not subject to the Word, it is an occasion for faith to display itself in seeking to win them by godly deportment, chaste conversation, and becoming fear. Their dress too, their hair and their ornaments, are none of them beneath the notice and the solicitude of the Spirit of God, who prescribes for their adorning no outward attire but that which is of the "hidden man of the heart," and for their ornament "a meek and a quiet spirit," which is priceless in the sight of God!

(Vv. 1, 2). The Apostle proceeds to exhort believers in the marriage relationship. The outstanding mark of the Christian wife should be subjection to her husband. In carrying out this exhortation we may learn how greatly a consistent Christian life can influence the unconverted. The unbelieving husband, who refuses to listen to the word of God, may be won by beholding the life of his wife lived in all purity and the fear of God.

The practical exhortations are now extended to the marriage relation, how wives and husbands should be royal priests, showing forth His excellencies in their divinely sanctioned union, as man and wife. The wife is mentioned first, for her place is the highest, the place of submission, which in God's eyes is the place of honor. The case of a wife is stated who has an unbelieving husband. Is she to submit to him, who is an unbeliever? Must she be obedient to such a one? How often wives placed in this position have listened to the evil councils of others, and, instead of submitting to the demands of an unbelieving husband, have resisted him, and as a result misery came upon them. Let it be noticed that the Holy Spirit insists on obedience; the fact of the disobedient husband is given as a reason for submission. Then there is a promise. The unbelieving husband is to be won without the Word, that is, without preaching in a public service, by the godly life of meekness and submission of the believing wife. This is the advice of the Holy Spirit, and many times the promise given to the believing wife has been made good.

Conjugal union, because it is the parent of all the rest, is the first of the natural relationships here reviewed. It will be observed that, in each of the three reciprocal connexions which are treated in succession, the inferior party is the first addressed. To notice first that which is naturally the weaker vessel, or which occupies the lower place, is in the manner of that grace which led the Blessed One to put Himself, in His humiliation, below all human comparison (Ps. 22:6; 2 Cor. 8:9), that He might bring us into the fellowship of His own delights. The Christian wife is to be subject to her husband, as unto the Lord. Misgoverned affection on the husband's Tart might concede to her the ruling plat*, or force of character on her side might assert it. But the Lord is to be remembered in the relations of His saints. He who made both man and woman has assigned to both their suited place. Where God is truly owned, His ordinances are observed. It was on this principle that holy women of old obeyed their husbands, Sarah calling Abraham, lord. Still more emphatically binding is this principle of conduct upon those whose rule of walk is Christ in everything. For He who fills all things has put Himself in such relations as to become the standard of our conversation in each several walk of life. And so the wife who knows her calling, and sees Jesus in her husband, will hearken also to her natural guide, and reverence her natural head (1 Cor. 11:3), with a new and especial obedience, for His sake.

Verse 24. "Therefore as the Church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." It is evident that the Church is here viewed according to the purpose and intent of her calling, as the chosen spouse of Christ. Although, therefore, the marriage of the Lamb is not yet come, and she is only yet betrothed to Him in grace, through the operation of the Father's Messenger, who seeks and calls her in the name of Jesus, the moral picture of her completeness, both of place and duty, is set here before us as the fit pattern of the Christian wife's submission to her husband. For the living Church is subject to her Head. She calls Him Lord, and loves Him with the uncorrupt devotion of a heart which He has created to be the shrine of His holiness for ever. To confess Him as her Lord is first her salvation, and for ever after her delight. The Christian wife, a partaker with her husband of the grace of life, and who waits with him for that great day of coming joy, is invited to prove her own devotedness to Jesus, by yielding in all things to the will of one whom He has made her ruler and her guide.

Verse 25. "Husbands, love your wives," etc. If wives owe to their husbands all submission, husbands, on their part, are to love their wives according to a pattern which involves an entire self-devotion. Supremacy of place should be practically justified by a more abundant love: "Even as Christ also loved the Church, and gave Himself for it." The heart of the Christian husband is expected to be well acquainted with the manner of that love. His wife should be endeared to him by all the power of that hope and joy which fill his own spirit, as he thinks upon the love of Jesus to His own. Natural affection, being hallowed and overruled by that which is of God, the inevitable cares of married life are willingly assumed, and lightly borne, by one who walks in the daily enjoyment, by faith, of that better "knowledge," which should be the Christian husband's strength (1 Peter 3:7).

The relationship established brings with it the joys and privileges peculiar to it, "They two shall be one flesh,"-joined in a unity such as no other relationship could possibly exhibit. It is theirs now to share in common the experiences and exercises of live, and what will also be welcome to the honourable heart, the responsibilities that have been willingly assumed by acceptance of one another. In all the experiences of life henceforth, let us firmly purpose to act consistently with this noble and blessed relationship. Let us not however expect in this a perfect state, for if so we shall be rightly disappointed. Indeed, it will be rather a further field of training in view of the perfect state, and it will be well if we gird ourselves to learn well by experiences of joy and sorrow, quietness and turmoil, rest and labour, distress and relief, pain and pleasure.

Ephesians 5 has told us, "Husbands, love your wives." Colossians 3:19 ads: "and be not bitter against them." Love ought only to increase as the years pass, not because of the worthiness of the object, but because of communion with God. The tenderness of proper care, forbearance, understanding, concern for the purest blessing of the wife, should characterize the husband consistently. Let each Christian husband challenge himself whether this is so, and if not, make no excuse, but obey the Word of God.

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord" (Eph. 5:22). This is the Divine order. The husband is the head of the wife, and while she is free to make suggestions for consideration of her husband, yet in matters of importance he is to make the final decisions. He is wise if he leaves to her the many minor decisions of homemaking, and to act with due consideration of her preferences also. But it is her very glory to know how to submit with gentle grace and cheerfulness, even if her wishes are not followed.

The apostle begins with this here, with wives and husbands. The wives are to submit themselves to their own husbands as to the Lord. The authority of the Lord is concerned in it, and the way in which He has taken these things up is to be reverently observed also. The husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the Head of the assembly. The very shadows of such things must be dear to us. If it were but a picture only, how could we abuse such a picture of His love to us? We are reminded here at once, "He is the Saviour of the body," His is not a place of authority merely. The authority itself is that which we yield to with delight, as realizing the title that He has to it. So, says the apostle, follow the pattern, "Even as the Church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." That, of course, could not possibly be meant to limit the higher authority of Christ Himself or of the Father. If there comes to be a question there, if these two are in manifest contradiction to one another, we must obey God and not man. Upon wives, submission to their husbands is enjoined. The husbands are never pressed to keep their wives in subjection. The duty pressed upon them is to love their wives, but here, again, the same measure is put before us; it is to be "as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for it, that He might sanctify it and cleanse it with washing of water by the Word, that He might present it to Himself a glorious Church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing." That, it is plain, carries us back to the beginning, only it was God that presented Eve to Adam and not Adam that presented her to himself. Christ transcends all types, and therefore it is fit and right that this should be manifest to us here. He is going to present the Church to Himself. He is diligently perfecting it according to His own mind, that He may be able to do

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in everything." (Eph. 5:22-24.) It will be seen from this Scripture that the position of the wife is one of subjection. We say "position," because, as the careful reader will perceive, the exhortation is based upon the character of the relationship. The wife is indeed enjoined to obedience, but it is on the ground of the place she occupies. This has been somewhat obscured by the insertion of a word or two in the translation. We read, "As the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be," etc.; but omit the word "let," which, as the italics indicate, has been introduced, and we have then a simple statement of fact: "As the church is subject unto Christ, so also the wives to their own husbands in everything." It is important to notice this, because the obedience, which is here enjoined upon the wife, is then seen to be that which should flow out of the position in which she is set — the natural fruit of the relationship. In other words, obedience to her husband is not left to the choice of the wife, but is to be rendered because of her relative place. It is this fact the Spirit of God brings before our notice.

(1.) The law, then, of the wife is her husband's will; or rather she is put in the place of subjection to his authority. There would seem to be one limitation to this statement, indicated by the words which are found in Colossians, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord." (Col. 3:18.) If therefore the will of the husband should interfere with the wife's individual responsibility to the Lord — come into conflict with the Lord's will as expressed in His word — if the alternative be forced upon her of obedience to her husband or disobedience to the Lord, then the Lord must have the supreme claim. With this solitary exception her submission to her husband must be complete. "As the church is subject unto Christ, so also the wives to their own husbands in everything." There cannot thus be any allowed exception apart from the one named.