“If one ventures a word with you, will you be impatient? Yet who can keep from speaking?
Job's friends have sat with him in silence, and Eliphaz is the first of them to speak. He opens with a polite question rather than a charge — but polite words are not always the right words for a suffering man.
Breaking the silence
One writer describes what the friends' silence meant, and what it cost the eldest of them to speak at all:
William KellyHe knew perfectly well what their gloomy silence meant. There was no real sympathy in their hearts toward him. There they sat, thinking their dark thoughts about Job the whole time, yet afraid to let them out. But at last Eliphaz gathers courage. He is the eldest of them, and he shows far more calmness, dignity and self-restraint than the ones who follow. He ventures to speak in a kind of apologetic tone. He says, "If one ventures a word with you, will you be impatient? Yet who can keep from speaking?"
A gentle start, a wrong diagnosis
His opening is gentle, and his next words praise Job. But the kindness rests on a wrong reading of what was wrong with him.
Leslie M. GrantJob's three friends could only think of God's justice in relation to Job's sufferings. They had no idea of God's love. Eliphaz no doubt thought his remarkable knowledge and speaking ability would help Job. But his diagnosis of Job's ailment was completely wrong. He begins gently and kindly. Then he rightly reminds Job that he had instructed many and had strengthened weak hands. His words had supported those who stumbled, and he had strengthened the feeble knees.
True words aimed at the wrong man
What Eliphaz goes on to say is not false. That is what makes his speech so hard to answer.
William KellyThe apostle Paul quotes the words of Eliphaz in the New Testament. God Himself pronounces that what they said was not right; yet the Holy Spirit gives all by inspiration, and uses the words of one of them as Scripture. Look at the words of Eliphaz on their own, and they contain nothing but truth. But weigh them as applied to Job, and they are inexcusably wrong. How wise is the way of the Lord! In the Old Testament history the application was wrong, and God reproved the speakers for it. In the New Testament the application is as right as the words themselves; everything is in place.
Criticism where sympathy was owed
Eliphaz was right to expect strength from a man who had strengthened others. Still, a friend at a sickbed owes more than accuracy.
Samuel RidoutWhat he says is perfectly true. Job had comforted others in times of distress, and he should have borne up under his trials. Yet would we not expect some words of sympathy from a friend — a "brother born for adversity"? Would not grace always teach us to "weep with those who weep"? The blessed Man of Sorrows did not scold sufferers like this. Human sorrow moved Him to compassion, even to tears. It is this harshness which shows a wrong principle in Eliphaz, one that comes out more clearly as he goes on.
Seeing the fault without supplying the help
Eliphaz had just praised Job for lifting people who were falling.
Leslie M. GrantInstead, Eliphaz effectively thrust a sword into Job's soul. He criticised Job for being depressed when trouble comes to him. Why did Eliphaz not do as he says Job had done in the past, strengthening the weak hands and upholding those who stumbled? It is easy for us to see what we think is wrong in another without providing for him what might be for his help.
Later in the book, Job answers all of this by naming what the friends had become — and by saying what he would have done in their place. Commentators note that his own reply exposes the gap between speech and comfort:
Leslie M. GrantInstead of comfort, they had given heartless accusations, which Job calls "words of wind." He says that if they were in his place, he could heap up words against them in similar cruel accusation, but he would not do so: he would use his words to strengthen and encourage them in order to give them some relief. He longed for this himself, but they had nothing for him.
Summary
- Permission — Eliphaz asks before he speaks, then admits he cannot stay silent. His tone is apologetic, and he is the calmest of the three friends.
- Diagnosis — his courtesy covers a wrong reading of the case. The friends saw only God's justice in Job's suffering, and nothing of His love.
- Application — his words are true in themselves, and the New Testament later quotes them. Aimed at Job, they were inexcusably wrong.
- Sympathy — true words without compassion turn harsh. Grace weeps with those who weep.
- Help — Eliphaz praised Job for strengthening weak hands, then failed to do it himself. Seeing a man's fault is easy; giving him help is the hard part.