God has made my heart faint; the Almighty has terrified me;
Job has just insisted that he kept to God's path. In the same breath he admits that the God he has been searching for has left him undone. He wants God's presence and dreads it at once. Why should a faithful man end up here?
Afraid of the God He Was Looking For
Earlier in the chapter Job longed to know where to find God. Now he is terrified of Him. One writer names the contradiction instead of smoothing it over:
Leslie M. GrantIt is true that God carries out whatever has been appointed for people (v.14). But what He appoints is not meant to fill a believer's heart with terror, as it did with Job. Why did he seek God's presence at all, if he was "terrified at His presence" (v.15)? This is one of the inconsistencies of a man who looks at his troubles instead of at the grace of God.
Another reading treats the same tension as a sign of spiritual life, not merely of confusion:
The Bible TreasuryJob feels how far he is from God, and feeling it, he wants to be brought near. This is the real exercise of a soul made alive — groping in the dark, as it were, for what it longs for… And yet he knows the true fear, the solemn effect of God's presence, for he says, "I am terrified at His presence; when I consider, I am in dread of Him."… He wants to be near God, but he fears His presence, because he is not at rest or accepted.
The Heart God Made Faint
Older translations read "makes my heart soft." One commentator takes this to mean Job's courage had drained away. He also names who Job blamed for it, using the Hebrew titles for God in the verse, El and Shaddai:
William KellyJob felt it was impossible to turn Him aside from His unsearchable purpose. What was appointed for him would happen without fail, for He has His mind and always carries it out. So Job was overwhelmed before His face, and his fear grew as he thought about it. El unnerved his heart, and Shaddai overwhelmed him. Eliphaz might talk about the darkness he admitted did surround him, and might blame it on hidden sin. It was God's own hand in it that appalled and bewildered him.
An Unsettled Question Between Him and God
Job's fear goes past his disease. Something deeper stands between him and God, and he cannot name it:
William Kelly"Therefore I am terrified at His presence." He was troubled because there was something between God and him — something God had a question about, though what it was he did not yet understand.
Misreading God's Unchanging Purpose
Two verses earlier Job said God is of one mind, and no one can turn Him. He takes that as a locked verdict against himself. One writer says Job had the fact right and the purpose behind it wrong:
Samuel RidoutSo Job adds that God is set on punishing him, and nothing can turn Him from this purpose! It is good for Job and for us that we have One with whom there is "no variation or shadow due to change."… Job thought the thing appointed for him was only the misery and suffering he was going through. It was really the necessity meant to produce patience in him. Job did not see the appointed "purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful" — the goal of a love too great to be turned aside from His purposes of blessing by our complaint and unbelief.
Dread of God Himself
Commentators differ on the words that close this section. One takes them as Job wishing he had died before the darkness fell. The other has Job dreading God Himself more than the darkness:
Samuel RidoutIn the older English version, Job wishes he had been cut off before this darkness came over him, so that he would not have seen it. Another view follows the context more closely and has him stressing his dread of God. He does not shrink back from his disasters, terrible as they are, but from this awesome God who fills his soul with dread… Thank God, His perfect love has been revealed in Christ. All is bright there, and the darkness is only a passing cloud, and it cannot hide the glory of the love that shines down on us.
Whatever the exact sense, Job's search was never as hopeless as it felt:
Samuel RidoutIt is all most tragic; and if it were only Job seeking God, he might well sink in despair. But, all unknown to himself, God is seeking Job, and will find him too, before long.
Summary
- Sought. Job asked to find God, then trembled at the thought of Him. The contradiction comes from watching his troubles instead of God's grace.
- Softened. Job's courage drained away, and God's hand did it: El unnerved his heart. Eliphaz blamed hidden sin, but what appalled Job was that God was behind it.
- Separated. Job sensed an unsettled question between himself and God. He did not yet know what it was. That groping in the dark is the mark of a living soul.
- Steadfast. Job read God's unchanging mind as a sentence against him. He missed the unchanging love that was driving the whole ordeal toward blessing.
- Sought out. If Job alone were seeking, he would have sunk into despair. Unknown to him, God was seeking Job, and found him.