But Jacob said to him, “My lord knows that the children are frail, and that the nursing flocks and herds are a care to me. If they are driven hard for one day, all the flocks will die.
Esau had just offered to travel on together. Jacob answered by pointing to what he was leading: small children and nursing flocks. One hard day's drive would kill them. His answer raises two questions: is it good shepherding, and is it the whole truth?
A shepherd's pace
Jacob's reason is sound in itself, whatever his motives. One writer takes the plea at face value and applies it to the people of God.
F. B. HoleJacob called his gift "my blessing." Even so, he had no wish at all for Esau's company on the rest of his journey. His plea, recorded in verse 13, was doubtless a genuine one. It lends itself to an application among the people of God today. There are always some who are young and tender, who must not be overdriven. Those who have reached the stature and activity of full-grown men must remember this. They must not force the pace of their weaker brothers and so ruin them. This has damaged many a young and tender believer.
The practical point is arithmetic: a company moves at the speed of its slowest member, or it loses them. Esau had four hundred men who could march; Jacob had lambs and toddlers.
L. M. GrantEsau proposes to Jacob that they travel together to Seir, Esau going before (v. 12), but Jacob replies, quite plausibly, that he and his large company could not keep pace with Esau's four hundred men. The flocks and herds with young must not be overdriven, and his children also were young.
The weakest set the speed
The principle reaches further than travel. One writer applies Jacob's words to praying aloud with others. The people praying with you set the length, not your own stamina. He ends with Jacob's words from the next verse, in an older translation.
Hamilton SmithLengthy prayer. Pray often rather than very long. It is difficult to remain long in prayer without slackening in our affections. Watch this above all in prayer with others. When we pray in company, we must consider those who travel with us. As Jacob said: "I will lead on softly, as the children are able to endure."
True words, false destination
Jacob's description of his flock was accurate. His stated destination was not. He said he would follow Esau to Seir, and he never meant to go.
William KellyEsau proposes that they should travel on, with himself leading the way. Jacob pleads the tenderness of the children, and of the flocks and herds that would all die if overdriven for one day. He begs his lord to go on ahead while he leads on gently, until he comes to his "lord" in Seir. Then, when Esau offers some of his trained escort, he replies, "Why this? Let me find favour in my lord's eyes." The truth is that he was most anxious to be rid of his brother. He had not the smallest intention of going to Seir. He was going to Succoth. Seen in the light of God, Jacob was not truthful in what he said to his brother. There was evil still unjudged in those around him. He spoke with little conscience about it, but with his usual talent for excuses.
The simpler road
A genuine reason can still serve as cover. Jacob had a simple, honest answer ready and did not use it.
L. M. GrantWhy did Jacob not act in simplicity of faith? He could have simply told Esau the truth, that God had directed him to return to Bethel. Was he afraid that Esau might be put out if Jacob did not come to visit him at least? But would Esau not be more put out by Jacob's deceiving him as he did?
Led, not driven
Jacob claimed to match his pace to the weak. The Lord truly does this, and with no mixed motive.
J T MawsonNote the words, "He leads me." He does not drive or drag; He leads. I was visiting a young mother. She was teaching her baby boy to walk. As she led him across the floor, I noticed something. She did not make him take the long strides she could have taken, or go at the pace she could have gone. She shortened her steps to his, and went as he could go, speaking words of encouragement all the way. As I watched this charming sight I said to myself, "That is it — He leads me." Yes, young Christian, you may be weak. But He who leads you is strong... He will lead you, not drive you, in the paths of righteousness. He will not make you go beyond your strength, or lay on you one thing you are not able to bear.
Summary
- Tender. Jacob's flock had nursing young, and his children were small. One hard day's drive would have killed them.
- Pace. The strong set the pace for the weak, never the reverse — in travel, in teaching, even in how long we pray with others.
- Damage. Forcing the pace is not a harmless mistake. It has damaged many young and tender believers.
- Cover. A true reason can still hide a false plan. Jacob's words about his flock were sound. His promise to follow Esau to Seir was not — he went to Succoth.
- Shepherd. The Lord leads rather than drives, shortening His steps to ours and never asking more than we can bear.