Their wives likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things.
Paul is listing what a deacon must be — a servant who handles the practical and money matters of the local church. In the middle of that list he turns aside to speak about the women, though he says nothing of the kind about the wives of overseers.
Why these wives and no others
Why single out one group of wives? The answer lies in what the two jobs involve.
A J PollockNo instructions covered the conduct of the overseers' wives. Their husbands' work was spiritual only. But the deacons had to do with practical matters, such as handling funds. Their wives might help them in that good work, so their character had to command respect.
The word behind "not slanderers"
The word translated "slanderers" is the one usually rendered "devil." Scripture uses it of people in only three places.
G C WillisI must mention the three places where this word, dia-ballo, is not translated 'devil.' The first (1 Tim. 3:11) refers to the wives of the deacons. It tells them they are not to be slanderers — not to be 'devils,' for 'devil' means 'slanderer.' The second passage is 2 Tim. 3:3. It tells us that in the last days men will be false accusers — that is, 'slanderers.' This is one of the marks of the times we live in. Brothers and sisters alike are liable to fall into this horrid sin. The third place with this use of the word (Titus 2:3) gives a special message to the older women: they are not to be false accusers.
The reason lies in what such a wife would come to know.
William KellyTheir husbands' duties would let them learn much of a delicate nature. So they had to be serious, not evil-speakers, temperate, and faithful in all things. Only such women could help their husbands as they should. Others would not only hinder them; they would lead to constant difficulty and scandal.
A real helper, not a bystander
The verse does more than restrain her. It also points to what she can give.
W. T. P. WolstonA deacon goes in and out of houses. His work brings him into family details and circumstances, and he may find need in many homes and meet that need. His wife might be a most valuable helper to him. She might be far more delicate and tender in dealing with need and sorrow than her husband. We delight in the wisdom of God, who in this way settles the place a woman may have in connection with her husband's office.
Wives, or women who serve?
Commentators differ on whether Paul means the deacons' wives or women engaged in the same work. One reading keeps to the wives, and points to a woman named in Romans 16.
F. B. HoleVerse 11 gives the wives of deacons a special mention. This is doubtless because service of this kind was the sort of work they often took part in themselves. Phoebe, for instance, was "a servant [deaconess] of the church at Cenchreae" (Rom. 16:1), and the apostle commended her warmly.
Others take these women as servants in their own right.
Eric TachoiresSome consider them deaconesses, and not necessarily the wives of deacons. Whichever view you take, the point above still stands. There was a sphere in which women could be helpful, and another in which they had no role.
Dignified, sober-minded, faithful in all things
"Dignified" — older translations say "grave" — is not a public manner put on for church. It reaches into ordinary life.
A J PollockThis subject is not limited to speaking publicly. It applies to private speech too, to the way we furnish our houses and dress ourselves, and to all we do here below. As proof of this, 1 Timothy 2:9 speaks about dressing with sobriety.
The reason reaches beyond her own home.
Leslie M. GrantBesides this, their wives must have a dependable character, and must not be slanderers. A wife may too easily influence her husband, and that can matter a great deal in the practical affairs of the assembly.
Summary
- Trust given. Deacons handle money and enter homes in need. That trust is why their wives, unlike the overseers' wives, get instructions of their own.
- Trust tested. The tongue tests it. "Slanderer" is the very word for "devil," and the same warning falls on men and on older women elsewhere.
- Trust shared. The husband learns delicate things, and so does his wife. Only a woman of this character helps him instead of hindering him.
- Trust extended. Some read verse 11 as the deacons' wives, others as women who serve like Phoebe. Either way, women have a real sphere of service here.
- Trust proved. Dignity covers private speech, dress and daily conduct. "Faithful in all things" leaves no corner of life outside the test.