Why is marital infidelity so destructive?

There is a baseness peculiar to itself, even among the dissolute, for a man to tamper with the wife of another. But lust is insidious on either side, and little beginnings, where that relationship subsists, are apt to go on to great evils. For Satan acts on the flesh, and leads souls which forget God's presence to venture in the vain hope of escape. But can a man take fire to his bosom, and his garments not be burned? Can one go upon hot coals and his feet not be scorched? That corruption will not escape the fire of human vengeance, how much less of divine judgment? Any approach, however small or passing, is dangerous and evil.

The inspired writer contrasts it with stealing even, though men are extremely sensitive of any loss in their property. If dire need were evident, men extenuate a thief when he steals a little rather than perish of starvation. But what is so senseless, no less than abominably sinful, as adulterous iniquity? Pity mingles with blame in the one case, but nothing can excuse the other. It is the foulest dishonour of the husband; it is the lifelong ruin of the entrapped wife; it is the shame of the house and of its connections; it is the abhorrence of God who judges it. And what must be his resentment who is chiefly wronged? No wonder that the evildoer is said to lack understanding or heart, and to destroy his own soul. The law laid down fines fourfold, fivefold, and sevenfold, for rising guilt in stealing; but death Moses commanded in Jehovah's name for adultery. If Christendom, pretending to judge the world, betrays its wicked levity by a lenient sentence, it tells its own tale of corruption, which will draw down the strong hand of the Lord God in judgment.

The frequency of divorce in the United States, so that in one of the States divorce is allowed for "misconduct," reveals the same state of things existing now, as was here condemned by Jehovah, and must bring with it the same evils, and the same punishment. What tongue can adequately tell, what heart conceive, the untold misery from this cause, especially to the deserted wives, and the children left without a mother's care! How little is the indissoluble nature of the marriage relation regarded! and the fact, that the Lord was the witness of it, and will be a swift witness against those who violate it! The Saviour only allows of one cause of divorce, and regards divorce for any other as adultery.

Since then this evil has increased a hundredfold or more among professing Christians, so that it threatens to undermine the home and all family life. It is the sign of the rapid disintegration of our nation.

Divorce leads to adultery

With one sentence the Lord sweeps to one side the subtle explanations of the scribes: "Whosoever shall put away his wife,... causeth her to commit adultery." Whatever the faults and weaknesses of the wife may be, he who puts her away, i.e. divorces her, exposes her to the danger of being bound to another husband afterwards. The Lord here calls such a relationship adultery. This implies that the first marriage is still valid before God. The marriage entered into before God and man is not violated merely by a divorce carried out before men (i.e. at a court), but by the sexual union with another partner afterwards-even when this takes place in a new marriage! It hardly needs to be said that this also applies to the spouse who "puts away" the other, i.e. divorces him/her.

In the house the Lord further instructs His disciples as to the solemnity of annulling the marriage tie in order to indulge the desires of the flesh towards another woman. In God's sight this is to fall into the most degrading sin.

Still more emphatic is the warning here given, which deals with a more aggravated and destructive evil. It is not only the evil woman, or a strange woman, or a whorish woman. It is the wife of another, as in the last clause; and the language rises in severity, for marriage is a divine tie; and God hates its breach and judges those who break it.

The seventh commandment safeguards the purity of human life. "Adultery" here has the widest sense, covering what are considered to be lesser forms of this sin between the sexes. The history of peoples shows those who have widely practised this evil have degraded themselves both physically and mentally, and out of it spring a host of other ills.

The child of God, for his own protection and blessing, and out of concern or the blessing of others, and above all, in order to honour God, should seek only the will of the Lord and the guidance of His hand in this matter that must vitally affect his entire future life for good or for ill. For if two should agree to live together as man and wife, their coming together is a solemn act, God joining them together as "one flesh," - an act therefore by which they commit themselves to a path of unswerving faithfulness to the other. The ungodly world about us today flagrantly disregards these serious obligations: countless broken homes bear witness to the treacherous dishonesty of human hearts; and gross sin multiplies its toll of sorrow and misery.

4th. They were wrong in their family relations. They are charged with dealing treacherously (or "unfaithfully") with their wives (verse 14). If we are wrong with God we shall be wrong in every other relationship. If we form unholy alliances with the world, it will not be long before we follow the unholy practices of the world in the most intimate relationships of life. In order to counteract this the prophet reminds them of the oneness of the marriage relationship, so that amongst His people there should be found "a godly seed." How deeply important this principle. If the children are to be holy, let the parents be holy.

This is the evil which the prophet here denounces, and from which he takes occasion to show the oneness of man and wife according to the original institution of marriage. There could be no greater evidence of moral corruption than what has been termed the levity of divorce. Even now, when a people or nation make it easy for man and wife to obtain a legal separation, it is a sure sign of the decay of public morals. And we cannot but again call attention to the order of the sins here enumerated. First, there was the corruption of the covenant of Levi, and then the dealing treacherously every man against his brother, dealing treacherously with God in the matter of idolatry, and lastly, dealing treacherously with the wife of their youth. It is religious, social, and domestic corruption; and let it be carefully observed that the last two flow from the first. The modern doctrine is that an atheist even may perform the duties of this life. It is utterly impossible; for where the conscience is not in exercise before God there is no guarantee for fidelity to man, or even, as in this scripture, to those who are united by the closest of all ties. Dissolve the tie between man and God, and you dissolve every other tie that unites man to man. These of whom the prophet speaks were the professing people of God, and were still punctilious in the observance of their sacrificial ritual, and yet they were unfaithful in every relationship in which they stood (compare Micah 7:1-6); and the flesh is the same in every age, and, though social restraints may vary in different ages, it will ever find its outlet in corrupt channels. If, therefore, there be no fear of God before the eyes of men, sin and iniquity must continually and increasingly abound.

Then, as to its effect upon children, it is equally sad. These are almost sure to flow in the current with the unconverted parent. "Their children spoke half in the speech of Ashdod, and could not speak in the Jews' language, but according to the language of each people." There can be no union of heart in the training of the children; no joint and mutual confidence in reference to them. One desires to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord; the other desires to bring them up in the principles of the world, the flesh, and the devil: and as all the sympathies of the children, as they grow up, are likely to be ranged on the side of the latter, it is easy to see how it will end. In short, it is an unseemly, unscriptural, and vain effort to plough with an "unequal yoke," or to "sow the ground with mingled seed;" and all must end in sorrow and confusion.