Why do so many preachers' kids walk away from the faith?

This I feel to be a startling inquiry; yet it is one which we are bound to follow up to the uttermost. What has called into existence, in many cases, that awful profanity, that disposition to scoff at sacred things, that utter distaste for the scriptures, and for meetings where the scriptures are brought forward, that sceptical and infidel spirit, so sadly apparent in the children of Christian professors? Will any one undertake to say that the parents have nothing to do with this, in the judgement of God? May not much of this be justly traced to the sad incongruity between the professed principles and the actual practices of the parents? I believe it may. Children are shrewd observers. They very soon begin to discover what their parents are really at. They will gather this, too, much more speedily and accurately from their doings, than from their prayings or their sayings; and, although the parents may teach that the world and its ways are bad, and though they may pray that their children may know the Lord, yet, inasmuch as they are educating them for the world, and seeking most industriously to push them on in it, grasping at, and getting in by, every opening, and congratulating themselves when they have succeeded in settling them there, it necessarily follows that the children begin to say in their hearts, "The world is a good place after all, for my parents thank God on getting me a berth in it, and look upon it as a most marked opening of Providence. All that peculiar talk of theirs, therefore, about being dead to the world, and being risen with Christ — the world's being under judgement, and their being strangers and pilgrims therein — all this must be rank nonsense, or else Christians, so called, must be rank deceivers." Will any one say that such reasoning as this has not passed through the mind of many a professor's child? I cannot doubt it. The grace of God, no doubt, is sovereign, and often triumphs over all our errors and failures; but oh! let us think of the testimony, and let us see that our houses are really ordered for God and not for Satan.

{I would, however, desire to remind the children of Christian parents that they are solemnly responsible to hearken to God's holy word, quite irrespective of the conduct of their parents. God's truth is not affected by the actings of men; and wherever one has heard the testimony of God's love, in the death and resurrection of Christ, he is responsible for the use he makes thereof, even though he should not have seen its sacred influence and power exemplified in the life of his parents. I would press these facts upon the serious attention of all children of Christian parents.}

How else can we account for the strange fact, that so many children, especially sons, of consistent Christian parents, when growing up, betray such an inconceivable aversion, yea, repugnance against everything that is called "religious?" The natural heart's enmity against God and His Word is not sufficient to account for this, for that reason would hold good for every child of believing parents. Is it not rather, because such Christian parents, especially fathers, have, with a stern Sinaitic spirit, ministered divine truth to their children, so that "the Word of the Lord was unto them precept upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little, that they might go, and fall backward, and be broken, and snared, and taken?"

Is not this problem still very prevalent? Christian parents endeavor to bring up their children for the Lord instructing them in the Word of God. They also take them to Sunday school, to the meetings, and to special occasions for further teaching from the Word. On the other hand, the influence of studies, apprenticeship, and/or professional training will certainly be felt; and it will cause a young heart to forget what it had received at home from the parents unless there is personal and living faith in the Lord Jesus. The case of King Joash demonstrates that a faith based exclusively on training vanishes when the supporting influences disappear.

Children of Christians often offer this spectacle. Their parents' faith guides their first steps, a thing which is legitimate and approved of God. They later manifest a genuine faith, but not stripped of its first habits, looking to men rather than to God Himself. Their conscience has never been deeply exercised about man's sinful state and his natural distance from God. They believe that which they have always believed; however one cannot doubt that they have life. Their conduct leaves nothing to be desired, and they have a real interest in the things of God. The Word is not unknown to them, and one sees a Joash reminding even the high priest of the "tribute of Moses the servant of Jehovah laid upon the congregation of Israel, for the tent of testimony" (2 Chr. 24:6). But the hour of their spiritual emancipation has not yet sounded, when it should have taken place long ago. Knowledge and real piety do not make up for the lack of a direct relationship of the soul with the Lord. The Christian must seek this before all else. Thousands of godly souls remain in a condition of childhood, depending first of all upon their parents, and later upon their spiritual leaders, instead of depending upon God and the Word. Let the leader disappear, and their godliness disappears with him; let him turn aside, and their soul turns aside after him. However amiable certain traits of this piety may be, let us be kept from it, especially during the difficult times that we are passing through. Let us meditate often on this word of the apostle, addressed to the "little children": "And ye have the unction from the holy one, and ye know all things" (1 John 2:20, 26-27). Not that obedience to leaders should be wanting Christians are to obey their leaders and submit to them because "they watch over your souls"; the apostle also charges them to "Remember your leaders who have spoken to you the word of God" (Heb. 13:7, 17). In no wise, however, does this imply that they must submit to all these without discernment, nor, if they would be kept, that they should refrain from seeking direct and immediate communion with the Lord. Joash obeyed leaders indiscriminately, whether Jehoiada or the princes — and that was his ruin.

When parents expect old heads upon young shoulders, and look for their unconverted children to take the ground they themselves take as Christians, the result is generally disastrous. If children, with no taste for spiritual things, are forced to attend a multiplicity of meetings, what must be the consequence? Though if the parents say how pleased they would be for them to attend, filial affection will often lead them to go with better grace.

With regard to converted children, my conviction entirely agrees with that of some trusted brethren I have consulted. First, one should be quite clear as to the conversion of the child, because children are without hypocrisy; so sensitive are they, and subject to the influence of impressions, that they sincerely believe they feel all, and do indeed feel what is at work around them. But if they have been actually and apparently converted, we should by no means persuade them to break bread. Let that arise naturally in their hearts, and if they desire to do so, ascertain if they are capable - of course, as a child - of discerning and acknowledging in it the body of the Lord; not to drive them away, but that they may do it with spiritual insight and true faith and understanding. It is not to be expected of them that they should explain everything like theologians, but that they should understand it is with you a matter of faith from the heart, and realisation of the broken body. If they are actually in the care of believing parents, there is not so much danger. If they have much intercourse with the world, it is well to be assured of their firmness. One must remember that they have not yet been tempted and tested by the allurements of the world; and there lies the danger, supposing that they are really in Christ. It often happens, that what they have longed for while subject to influence exercised over them without feeling the check, becomes subsequently a hateful check and nothing else, and they abandon what later on perhaps they would have longed for. Hence the importance of that of which I have already spoken - that they should be in the company of Christian parents, by whom they may, as time goes on, be guarded and brought up before the Lord, that they may be cared for in a Christian way. Invariably, so soon as they are in active life, the world and lusts come in, besides the hope of a future in the world to tempt them. But if the work is deep, conscience secures their apprehension of the Lord's supper, especially if the parents are faithful, and the children are accustomed to care of every kind. Or if there is proved faithfulness in the child, then nothing hinders their breaking bread. It is by no means a question of right, but of that which is altogether best for those that according to the will of God are under the government of others.

A Christian parent puts his child to school and what is the character of the influence exerted over the little one there? How often is it Philistine — that which is often in open enmity against God, or so formal in character that no genuine faith is inculcated! This is seen in still greater measure when the youth passes on to college, where infidelity is taught and if his intellectual implements have a keen edge upon them, he is taught rather to turn them against the truth of God than to explore its wondrous depths.

From my earliest days I was of a sceptical turn of mind. I wanted everything brought to the bar of human reason, not realizing how utterly deceptive the reasoning of a mind away from God must be. Had I been able to face the fact of my natural aversion to all that was of God I would not have trusted my mind in the things that concerned my relations with Him. I might have seen that any natural antipathy to a report must always exercise a hindrance to faith in it. Though brought up in a godly atmosphere I absolutely turned away from all so-called places of worship when I left home, and I left home very early in life. To argue the question I was more than willing, but to sit quietly and hear the unfolding of the grace of God was more than my pride of heart would endure.

Defilement on account of death might be contracted in two places - in the tent or in the fields. In the second case, the individual only was unclean; in the first, the defilement extended to all that was in the tent, and particularly to every uncovered vessel. Of what frequent occurrence is this kind of defilement among Christians! In the fields, in public, amidst the world, there is usually more watchfulness, because of the liability to observation from hostile people, who seek to find fault in order to have an opportunity of speaking against the gospel. In the tent, in the more or less restricted family circle, it is easy to be inattentive, and less on the watch. Things are tolerated which would not be before every one, and there is less restraint because it is private life. Certain worldlinesses are accepted which would be avoided in public; such and such an evil is excused on the ground that there is no one to criticise. Death is in the tent. What is the result? If there be an uncovered vessel it is defiled. Uncleanness contracted within the tent spreads to our immediate surroundings. How is it that the children of Christians become so often worldly in their ways, and give up the truth which has been taught them in their father's house? Doubtless there may be many causes for it; and I admit that, in most cases, great worldliness on the parents' part is not the reason; but have they not often to acknowledge with humiliation, that they have tolerated in the family circle some worldly defilement which has influenced the uncovered vessels, thus exposed through our negligence to such an influence?

Defilement on account of death might be contracted in two places — in the tent or in the fields. In the second case, the individual only was unclean; in the first, the defilement extended to all that was in the tent, and particularly to every uncovered vessel. Of what frequent occurrence is this kind of defilement among Christians! In the fields, in public, amidst the world, there is usually more watchfulness, because of the liability to observation from hostile people, who seek to find fault in order to have an opportunity of speaking against the gospel. In the tent, in the more or less restricted family circle, it is easy to be inattentive, and less on the watch. Things are tolerated which would not be before every one, and there is less restraint because it is private life. Certain worldlinesses are accepted which would be avoided in public; such and such an evil is excused on the ground that there is no one to criticise. Death is in the tent. What is the result? If there be an uncovered vessel it is defiled. Uncleanness contracted within the tent spreads to our immediate surroundings. How is it that the children of Christians become so often worldly in their ways, and give up the truth which has been taught them in their father's house? Doubtless there may be many causes for it; and I admit that, in most cases, great worldliness on the parents' part is not the reason; but have they not often to acknowledge with humiliation, that they have tolerated in the family circle some worldly defilement which has influenced the uncovered vessels, thus exposed through our negligence to such an influence?