What should we learn from the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31?

The final portion of the book of Proverbs is a description of the virtuous woman. This section is quite different from the rest of the book, like many Psalms and the Lamentations it is alphabetically arranged. The virtuous woman, who is far more valuable than rubies, is described in her home as a faithful wife, a painstaking mother and the competent mistress of her household. There is no need to allegorize this description and apply it to the Church, as some have done. But this virtuous woman stands out in prominent and bright relief--a relief against the descriptions of "the strange woman," the adulteress so repeatedly mentioned in Proverbs (2:16-20; 5:1-23; 22:14; 23:27, etc.). One of the proverbs is expanded in this beautiful picture drawn by the Spirit of God: "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor from the LORD." But how few of the modern women reach this ideal! How few among Christian women measure up to it!

He is warned against lust and drink, and then comes a wonderful description of a virtuous woman. Her husband’s heart trusts her. She is industrious. She is farseeing. She rises early and retires late, so great is her energy. “Strength and honour are her clothing.” Her speech is wise and kind. Her children rise up and call her blessed, Her own works praise her in the gates.

From the consideration of this virtuous woman we can learn what the Lord is looking for in His own at the present time; and as we hear afresh the question, "Who can find a virtuous woman?" shall not our hearts be exercised to answer in some small way to the desire of Christ that in all things we might be for Him while waiting for His coming? H. Taberner.

Is there not the salutary reminder here that a believer's strength is not in himself? Nor in fact is true dignity a virtue of the flesh: these are "her clothing," and certainly typical of Christ, as the apostle could joyfully claim, "I can do all things through Christ. Who strengtheneth me" (Phil. 4:13). And again, "Of Him are ye in Christ Jesus, Who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification and redemption" (1 Cor. 1:30), a dignity certainly infinitely above the highest attainments of the flesh. It is because of this that "she laugheth at the coming day," that is, the future holds for her no fear whatever: she "may have boldness in the day of judgment, for as He is, so are we in this world" (1 John 4:17).

(Pe) "She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness."

We have already seen that this precious soul is a worker, not a talker; yet there is lovely moral balance here, for she knows how to give "a word in season": when she does open her mouth, it is that words of wisdom may be spoken. This compares with 1 Peter 4:11: "If any man speak, let him speak as the oracles of God." If we obeyed this instruction, how much evil and vanity would be avoided, and how much good accomplished! "The law of kindness" in her tongue is no doubt a designed contrast to "the law of commandments contained in ordinances" ( Eph. 2:15). Legality has utterly no place in her character: her words of grace are consistent with her gracious actions: if this is called a "law," this simply indicates that it is her settled principle of conduct. It is far from looseness and indulgence of evil, but firm in kind consideration of the needs of others.

“She openeth her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.” Her speech is in all wisdom — there is “neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient”. But though in her conversation chaste, she is not austere; for “the law of kindness” is in her tongue. Her conversation is always in grace, yet seasoned with salt. There is a way of speaking which is as the piercings of a sword; and on the other hand there is a class of speech that is all honey. Both extremes are by this favoured woman happily avoided; while kindly in manner and tone, there is no winking at or smoothing over wrong or sin. “She looketh well to the ways of her household” — there is the faithful exercise of discipline in the circle of her own. Some would discard discipline entirely in the church — the house of God. Not so this noble helpmeet of her Husband; she watches carefully the conduct of those beneath her roof and under her authority. And there are those set in the church “who watch for our souls as those that must give account”. “Good, easy man” does not describe the “man of God”; he threatens to come “with a rod”; if remonstrance and loving admonition fail.

She “eateth not the bread of idleness”. The days are evil and it is no tune for ease or idleness. “In diligence not slothful.” As the Israelite in the desert had to rise betimes to obtain the manna, while it was yet early, or go hungry, so must Christians use diligence in the feeding of their souls; they are not permitted to eat the bread of idleness and at the same time prosper in their souls. “In all labour there is profit”, and this worthy wife shall in the end obtain a full reward for her unselfish toil and thoughtfulness for others.

HER INDUSTRY is noted next: “She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchant’s ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens”. In Christ Jesus it is “faith which worketh by love”. The loving partner here works ‘willingly’, or with delight, as Young translates it. True love must be active while there is one single need of its object that remains to be met — it must be up and doing for the object of its affections. “The labour of love” is never drudgery, but rather a delight, as here.

The model woman has a house to keep. “Chaste keepers at home”, is the expressed command of God concerning women who would please Him (see Titus 2:5). She does not gad about, engaged in social settlement work, thrusting herself into the public affairs of the world, or demanding equal rights with the men for her sex. Her labours are purely domestic; and it in this circle that she finds her hands happily and ever full, as every true wife and mother most surely will. Food and clothing for her household occupy her fully — the preparation of wool and flax for the distaff and loom, and meat for her household; she apportions work also for her maid servants, suffering none to dwell with her in idleness.

HER PROVIDENCE — her care for her own. “She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet (or double garments, margin). She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles to the merchant Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come”. A man who provides not for his own, especially for those of his own house, he is worse than an infidel, Scripture assures us (1 Tim. 5:8). The lauded housewife here does not come under the condemnation of this passage. She has made ample provision for the future of those dependent on her. Not only is she prepared for the days of storm and snow, but “she shall rejoice in time to come”, the delineator of her virtues says. “Laying up in store for themselves a good foundation against the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life”, is the apostolic admonition concerning those that are rich in this world (1 Tim. 6:19). This, in measure, all may do, even if poor in this world’s goods. To lay up for themselves treasure in heaven is the privilege even of those most indigent in the church.

HER BENEVOLENCE is noted next; it is not niggardliness, or because she is selfishly covetous, that she pursues the practice of thrift and industry, but that she may have to give to others: “She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy”. This is the spirit inculcated in the church of the Ephesians by the apostle Paul: “Let him that stole steal no more; but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth” (Eph. 4:28).

And, to apply it in a still more spiritual way, think of the devoted apostle himself, toiling night and day “enduring all things for the elects’ sake, that they might also obtain the salvation which is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory”. What self-abnegation, what love for others — the souls of the really poor and the needy. He impoverished himself for others: “As poor,” he says, “yet making many rich.” He was indeed a philanthropist in the truest and highest sense of that word — the New Testament counterpart of that generous, benignant soul whose goodly ways and character we are analyzing here, this “woman of worth”, beyond all price. May both his and her spirit characterize us, their spiritual descendants, more and more.

Proverbs 31:20 (Caph). "She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy." Not content with serving the needs of her household, this large-hearted woman cares also for the needs of the poor. It is so easy for us to be wholly concerned with the needs of a particular circle, and to forget the needy all around. Nor is this only a matter of temporal needs, but also of the spiritual needs of those who have not been blessed with the blessings of the Gospel of God.

Proverbs 31:30 (Shin). "Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised." The favour of the world is deceitful, like natural beauty it does not last; but the woman who, in reverential fear, seeks to please the Lord, shall have a satisfying and praiseworthy life. And this is true for us all.