What should I look for in a Christian boyfriend?

If the Lord is going to use us together as a family unit we need to be committed to Him. It is not sufficient to choose a partner who just says they are a Christian because: firstly they may prove to be otherwise and secondly if they are converted but not committed to the Lord they will always be looking back to the world's things. Remember Lot's wife. In the same way, if I am not committed to the Lord I cannot think of myself as a suitable partner for another.

How do we see someone else's commitment to the Lord? If we are involved in the Lord's work in whatever capacity our abilities allow, we will meet others who are like minded and this commitment to serve the Lord will flow into our marriage. Let us not deceive ourselves into thinking that an attraction to someone is sufficient and assume that other difficulties will be overcome after we are married.

Serving the Lord with your spouse must mean having the same exercise as to the place to enjoy the privileges of Christian fellowship, and being committed to the gathering together of the Lord's people as seen in the Scriptures. Then together you can serve the Lord and bring up children with the same conviction and not be divided, so that one goes to one ‘type of church’ and the other to another with the conflicting loyalties this brings when children come along.

Look at it in a natural way. Here is a young man, going to enter on a career of service for God. How important that hp should make no alliance that will hinder his usefulness and service. How important that every step should be taken in dependence upon God, with earnest prayer for guidance, particularly in so important a step as choosing a partner, a companion. How absolutely important it is that she should be of the same mind with himself. First of all she should be one of the Lord's people, surely, and besides she should have like faith and obedience with himself.

Look at it in a natural way. Here is a young man, going to enter on a career of service for God. How important that he should make no alliance that will hinder his usefulness and service. How important that every step should be taken in dependence upon God, with earnest prayer for guidance, particularly in so important a step as choosing a partner, a companion. How absolutely important it is that she should be of the same mind with himself. First of all she should be one of the Lord's people, surely, and besides she should have like faith and obedience with himself.

When Christians are seeking a partner in marriage, it is essential for them to seek the mind and will of God. There should be an enquiry, “What saith the scriptures?”.

But along with this is the positive character of faith: "Follow after righteousness." Righteousness has been said to be "consistency with relationship": and this involves serious exercise to maintain conduct in accord with any rela­tionship in which one may be placed. Then, "godliness," which evidences a habit of communion with God. "Faith" is the confidence that depends upon His faithfulness in every circumstance. "Love" is the very energy and warmth of the

nature of God, that which is shed abroad in the believer's heart by the Holy Spirit, bringing a genuine concern for the good of others. How deeply "patience" is needed in connec­tion with all of this: it can bear long in cheerful continuance and quietness, and must be over and over again impressed upon us. And "meekness" is an essential addition to this also, that character of lowly submission that insists not upon personal rights. How contrary are all these things to mere natural conceptions and practice! They cannot be fol­lowed without serious self-judgment and exercise of soul. May our God and Father give us more to know this in experience.

That his moral character and conduct are consistently Christian and above reproach.

If in both the man and woman who contemplate marriage, there is not present some real measure of this willingness to give himself or herself in loving self-denial, in diligent care and labour for the blessing of the other, then they may be certain that such a marriage has not the sanction of God. Let them proceed no further.

This love, as we see in the Lord Jesus, involves an undeviating faithfulness and thorough devotedness to the one who is loved. If considering marriage, let the believer be not only fully purposed himself that this should be true of him, but be certain that such evidence is seen in the partner he desires.

I want to warn Christian young men against the sin of trifling with the feelings and affections of those of the other sex. Be manly and straightforward, and do not be cruel deceivers. God observes your actions and words. I have no desire to say more on this delicate subject than this: Do not be general lovers. Be careful in the choice of a companion whom you mean to make your wife, and be true and constant to her in your love — to her only.

Physical attraction makes up part of the bond we have with our partner but this must not take priority over the spiritual and mental aspects of our relationship. The world around us makes almost everything of the physical and we must guard against this playing too great a part in our choice of partner. The world is led on by Satan who is against the idea of marriage as instituted by God. If we allow ourselves to be exposed to the media's perceptions of relationships they can unconsciously enter our minds and affect our actions. Let us guard ourselves from songs, films, books, plays etc. that entertain low morals or overplay the physical and emotion aspect of choosing a partner.