What is toxic positivity?

There is another class of those who, with much better intentions than these, yet are perhaps more irritating. They approach the sufferer with an airy cheerfulness, and with complaisant smiles tell him that it is all for the best. "This is sent for his good" (fancy a man consoled by the thought that, for instance, his sons are struck down for his good!), and again "there are millions worse off" than he: this last form of consolation is doubly irritating to a right-minded person, as in the first place it insults the sufferer by assuming that he can be consoled, instead of pained by the fact that other people are suffering more than himself; and, secondly, it takes away that little morsel of consolation that everyone finds in believing his own misfortunes are peculiar. Solomon knew these people and said it was like taking away a garment in winter to sing songs to those who have a heavy heart. We are not told by the All-wise to rejoice with them that weep.

But we are told to act as He did Whose mission it was to comfort those who mourn: "Jesus wept." To "weep with those that weep", and not to pretend to know too much of the mysterious causes of their suffering. It is possible we may be mistaken in our judgments. Why is it that one of the most honoured and influential of God's servants at this time on earth, who has for years endured continual extreme bodily suffering and domestic sorrow, is (now while I write) protractedly struggling with pain and death, just at the time when we would think his powerful voice most needed to combat those attacks on the foundations of the faith which he has already withstood? Why should Carey, when translating the Bible into twenty four heathen languages, be obliged to hear the screaming of his mad wife from the adjoining room?

Happy, thrice happy are they who have learned the secret of what lies behind the riddle of suffering. How many of the heirs of glory are at a loss to know how it is that they are loved with a love that is eternal and yet permitted to suffer. Well it is for the one who can say, in the midst of tears, "God can do nothing for me but that which is the very best ": the consciousness of this deep down in the soul in moments of trial imparts a sober dignity to the person which nothing can equal. Let no one think that we under-estimate this precious part of the dealings of our loving God, or go away with the thought that it can be met by an easy-going sentimentalism that views it as a sort of necessity; saying, it will be all right when we get home; or, on the other hand, meets it with a dogged stoicism which is callous in the extreme. Oh no: they that own His hand most and taste His sympathy in the sorrow are the same that feel the weight of it most keenly of all.

And let no one think or say this is insensibility; superiority to that which presses upon your heart, is surely not to be insensible to it; but it is one thing to have sorrow rolling over you like a great wave, above which your head is never lifted, it is another thing to find in Christ that which sustains and uplifts the soul in the darkest day, when death has spread its sable mantle over all the heart could prize. I feel convinced that God intended us to feel the sorrow, and I am persuaded that the deepest acquaintance with Christ, and what He is in such an hour, is in nowise inconsistent with keen feeling.

Not all God's children are tested in the same way in this homeward journey. Some are well acquainted with bodily pain and weakness, with weary days and sleepless nights; others are misunderstood and persecuted by those they long most to bless; many suffer keenly as they see those suffer who are dearer to them than life, and still others have the deeper and, if it were not for the sure hope of resurrection, the darker sorrow that death lays heavily on the heart as he swings his sharp and effective scythe. No wonder that many sigh and weep, nor can we condemn them, for "Jesus wept," and the heart that is not moved by sorrow and trial is a hard and insensible heart.

Not all God's children are tested in the same way in this homeward journey. Some are well acquainted with bodily pain and weakness, with weary days and sleepless nights; others are misunderstood and persecuted by those they long most to bless; many suffer keenly as they see those suffer who are dearer to them than life, and still others have the deeper and, if it were not for the sure hope of resurrection, the darker sorrow that death lays heavily on the heart as he swings his sharp and effective scythe. No wonder that many sigh and weep, nor can we condemn them, for “Jesus wept,” and the heart that is not moved by sorrow and trial is a hard and insensible heart.

In this the children of God greatly rejoice, that is, the assured prospect of matchless blessing In view, and this in spite of the fact that for a brief time first, God sees a need of their being in heaviness through many trials. How good to see here that deep sorrow might yet be accompanied by great joy, a Joy that is known only by faith in what God has revealed. Not that the sorrow is minimized for it is said to be the grief of many trials of various kinds; but It is transcended by the certainty and blessedness of that salvation, which is near.

Hence is the believer entitled and emboldened to think it every sort of joy whensoever he falls into varied trials, as indeed they may be of all kinds. It is not that Christians are exempt from sorrow — far from it, or that we should not feel the sorrow, any more than forget God's grace. Thus the trial throws us back on Him without Whom not a sparrow falls on the ground and by Whom the very hairs of our head are all numbered. Affliction comes not forth of the dust, nor does trouble spring out of the ground. All is under His hand Who has made us His for glory, and meanwhile puts our faith to the test in this present evil age, habituating us not only to patience but to endurance.

Look at the unspeakable patience you see in Christ. Look at Paul - "truly the signs of an apostle were wrought in me with all patience." But mark what was inside it all - "joyfulness." He was the man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: still He could desire that His joy might be fulfilled in themselves. Paul asks - "Who is afflicted and" - not I relieve him but - "I burn not." We find that this world is not a place of rest, but of trial. Does this not make the heart say, Why I am going to see Christ as He is? - and hope brightens in the heart at the thought, and enables me to glory in tribulation by the way; knowing that tribulation works patience, and patience experience, and experience hope; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost given unto us. It is not putting on outward joy, and a canker in the heart i there are sorrows no doubt in all that we pass through, but at bottom there is joyfulness, and at the end of all Christ Himself. We have got Him as the spring of all joy in our hearts now, and we shall have Him when we are in His presence.

It is not surprising, then, that we should feel. Jeremiah feeling the sorrows was a fit vessel to wail over Jerusalem, as expressed in Lamentations. If there is not the energy of faith,* there is not the support of faith. The first may fail, but the dependence of faith cannot be taken from us. In Psalm 42, concerning the affliction, "Where is thy God?" the word is, Hope in God — nothing else. He should praise Him for the help of His countenance; he knew it would shine again, and he could afterwards say, He "is the health of my countenance." Here God comes in between the soul and the trouble, and there is help. Hope was exercised when in the midst of affliction: knowing God would shine on him, and then he would reflect it. "To go up with those who keep holiday" was demonstration of joy. It is good for us to look out for the glory; a secret looking for it makes us more sensible of evil, but yet kept in communion. Anticipation of evil would deaden, it would unsanctify the heart, unless we could connect all with God. It is the contrivance of Satan to fill the mind with the evil; but if I look clear out of the evil into the glory, I get rest and peace. "Be not afraid with any amazement" — "be not afraid of their terror." Satan seeks to give evil its power over the mind; and, looking at it, I get either insensibility or terror.

The world knows and admires that attitude of mind which is expressed by the saying, "Grin and bear it." We commend the man who faces adversity with cheerfulness, though his cheerfulness is only based on a species of fatalism and a refusal to look ahead beyond the day. The believer, who has grown in the knowledge of God and is strengthened, may be plunged into suffering, and instead of being consumed with desire to get out of it he endures with long-suffering, instead of grumbling at the Divine ways he not only acquiesces but is joyful. Joyful, be it noted, and not merely cheerful. His joy flows on like still waters that run deep. But then the power for this is according to the might of His glory. That glory exists today, and very shortly it is coming into display, so even now it is possible for us to "rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory." Read 1 Peter 1:6-9, for it illustrates our subject.