What is the meaning of the parable of the friend in need (persistent neighbor)?

We see in the beginning of the new company in Luke 10:39, 11:1, the first trait - the Word of God and prayer - literally, what God says to us and what we say to Him. The disciples say, in chap. 11, "Lord, teach us to pray," and the Lord figuratively sets forth in the man who went to his friend at midnight how prayer begins with the sense that my friend has what I want. It is not so much a question of what the want is, but I know my friend has what I want, and that he is my friend; and I repair to him to relieve me of my want, without taking into account the various things which might intervene. One thing is fixed in my mind - that he has what I want, and that I have nowhere else to get it; this is the first great sense of prayer - absolute dependence on God, and His infinite ability to meet what I require.

The sense so peculiar to real prayer is that the greater our need, and the more we need, the nearer we get to Him, as if the only chance and the only hope of relief is our being with Him. The circumstances we are in generally impart a character to our prayers; so you will find that if you begin with the troubles about you, and keep on praying, you are getting more free of the trouble, and really getting more occupied with Himself; just as in the parable in Luke 11 the man succeeds at last, and gets more than he asked for - an intimation of what the Lord says in the end - "How much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask Him."

In Luke 11 he says to His disciples, “If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent? or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask Him?” He speaks of one going to his friend at midnight asking three loaves, and his friend rises and gives him as many as he needs, that is to say he does not confine himself to the request. So he says to His disciples: “Ask.” You may not put your request in the best form, you may not come at the most seasonable hour, you may not ask the thing you most need, but you come to One who is full of grace, and who knows your need infinitely better than you know it yourself, and as to whose love for you there can be no room for doubt, for it has been declared in the death of His Son, and your need will be met. And what meets your need is found in Christ. Whatever your need may be He can meet it. You need bread, bread is the support of life, and if you come to Him He will not turn you back upon the old covenant, and give you a stone which will be death to you. The energy of life is set forth in the fish, and if you come to Him He will not throw you back upon the energy of the flesh, whose tortuous, crooked, and evil ways result in death. You ask an egg, in which lies hidden the secret of life, and He will not fill your heart with fear, which stings with the torment of death. HE WILL GIVE THE HOLY SPIRIT TO THEM THAT ASK HIM. This and this alone will meet your need. In the power of the Spirit you will be filled with the bread of life, and with the energy of life, and your heart will be made acquainted with the secret of life, the love of God. And all these things are in Christ; the bread of life, the energy of life, and the secret of life; and all these things are appropriated by us in the power of the Spirit.

Then He speaks of man going to a friend at midnight and asking for three loaves. "And he from within;" these are pregnant words! Are you "within"? It is a dangerous condition in this world. What I mean by that is, losing your sympathies with the joys and sorrows around you. So the Lord shows out God's grace, on the dark ground of that man's selfishness. You have not to "ask" and "seek" and "knock"; that is importunity. But "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you." See the divine readiness in answer to human necessities. Never say importunity is needed to move God. At your leisure read Daniel 10. For "three full weeks" Daniel was chastening his heart before God, and no answer was given. At the end of that time the answer came; and how? The angel told him that as soon as ever he began to pray, he was heard; but a certain transaction that was going on in heaven, hindered the answer. He went on in importunity for three weeks, but as soon as ever he had prayed, he was heard. So you may have been praying for a long time, and getting no answer, but be sure the interval has been well employed; if not in heaven, in the chastening of your spirit. This beautifully illustrates what we get here. There is no reluctancy in God; not that selfishness to be overcome that there was in the man at midnight; but there may be reasons to delay the answer, and when it does come, it may be in a way you are little prepared for. Paul prayed three times, and the thorn was not taken away; but the answer came at last, and in a way he had not expected. The thorn was left until the day of his death, but he was given grace by which he could triumph in it.

Freedom to ask thus intimated, earnestness in prayer is next inculcated and illustrated. A man will give to his friend, if importunate, however untimely may be the request. "Because of his importunity he will rise and give him as many as he needs." Will God be less easy to be entreated than a friend, or an earthly father? No. "Ask," says the Lord, "and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened to you. For every one that asks receives; and he that seeks finds; and to him that knocks it shall be opened." Importunity will avail with a friend. Earnestness is rewarded by God. But more; He is our Father, and has a Father's heart, and we may learn something of what that is from an earthly parent, placed in that relation by God. The parental tie was instituted by God. Parental love is implanted in the creature by the Creator. Will He do less, and care less for His children, than an earthly parent for his offspring? Impossible; and here we are not left to conjecture, nor to deduction. "If a son," we read, "shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent? Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask Him?" (11:5-13).

The Lord then had much to add in encouraging the persistent, believing prayer of His own. If one had a friend (not simply a neighbor) and even at midnight went to him to request the loan of three loaves of bread because of an emergency, is it likely that his friend would excuse himself from helping because it would disturb his own comfort? The Lord answered, that if even on the basis of friendship the friend might not be disposed to help at that hour, yet simply because of one's persistence -- his earnest insistence in asking -- his friend will respond (v.8).

It is true that a man may respond simply because he does not want to be bothered by constant asking. This is not God's attitude, but He desires to see in our prayers the reality of earnestness rather than just giving up because no immediate answer to our prayer is forthcoming.

In verse 9 He encouraged an increasing urgency in prayer, not only to ask, but to seek, and more still, to knock with the insistence of one who has serious need. Yet all three degrees of urgency will be answered, for God cares for us in perfection of love. Everyone who asks receives. This supposes the asking to be in subjection to the will of God, for some asked and did not receive because they asked amiss (James 4:3). The one who seeks finds: this too must be genuine, honest seeking the blessing of God, as is also the case with knocking. The door will be opened where faith impels one to knock. In all of this it is faith that is encouraged.

The Lord here enforces prayer, and this on considerations drawn (as often in Luke) from the human heart, as showing still more powerfully what God feels in answer to the earnestness of men.

"He said to them, Who among you shall have a friend, and shall go unto him at midnight and say unto him, Friend, let me have three loaves; since a friend of mine on a journey is come to me, and I have nothing to set before him? and he within answering should say, Do not disturb me; the door is already shut, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot rise up to give [it] thee. I say unto you, although he will not rise up and give [them] to him because he is his friend, because of his shamelessness, at any rate, he will rise up and give him as many as he wants." The time may seem ever so inopportune, but although a man may not for friendship's sake listen to him who requests the loan of bread, he would rather rise and give than expose himself to trouble. Every one knows that this is apt to be the way of a man with the neighbour who is bold enough to press. He might be ever so much annoyed at the importunate suitor, but still to avoid the trouble of a continued appeal at his door, he yields. At least, such is an ordinary case: "Because of his shamelessness he will rise and give him as many as he wants."286

If such is the way of selfish, ease-loving man, how much more will the God of all grace hearken to those who cry to Him! He is not weary; He never slumbers nor sleeps; He is full of goodness and compassionate care. "I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given unto you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you"287 — an evident climax, all tending to urgency of supplication before God: not as if God needed it, but man does; and God values the earnestness of man's heart, although His own is open to the cry of want or distress from the very first. But we know that there are hindrances from other causes, and that the Lord has Himself told us of a kind (speaking of evil spirits) that goes not forth but by prayer and fasting. There we have the highest degree of the soul's abstraction from all else, giving itself up to God's power in order to defeat the devil. "For every one that asks receives; and he that seeks finds; and to him that knocks it will be opened." There is always in Luke, not only an appeal to the feelings of the heart, and man's own concession of what even he would do in order to illustrate the ways of God, infinitely more admirable and excellent, but there is also a comprehensiveness which goes far beyond the narrow bounds of Israel. "Every one that asks receives." Thus we have here the call to importunity of prayer, and the certainty of God's answer.287a

116 Verse 5. "Which of you shall have a friend," etc. This is another character of prayer - earnest waiting upon God. There is majesty in God's goodness, and yet He takes knowledge of all our wants, and we must await His will and pleasure. Suppose one asks his father for anything, and he says, "you must wait five minutes," is the child to say, "No, I cannot; I must have it directly?" Meantime, while waiting, faith is exercised, and the spirit broken down in the sense of need. Look at Daniel, and see another thing. God gave him a deep sense of his identification with Himself in what he was doing; so He must make him pray three weeks before he has his request granted. This is a great privilege, for it is to have fellowship with God. In the case of this friend, there is a depth of interest excited in desire for the thing, and because of his importunity he gains it. There is a certainty of God's answering in blessing, though He delay.

But these are exceptional cases, and generally speaking, the Lord would have us go on praying for a thing that is upon our hearts. He often keeps us waiting for months, and even for years, before giving an answer, in order to test the reality of our desire and to prove our faith. He would have us importunate about what we seek of Him, and thus show that we are really in earnest. This is the lesson conveyed to us in the parable of the traveller who applied to his friend for bread at midnight (Luke 11). He was heard because of his importunity. Another parable—that of the injured widow (Luke 18)—enforces the same truth, that men ought not to faint or grow weary in prayer.

It is not that God is a hard and unwilling Giver, but that importunity is a test of earnestness and faith.

But there is another very important moral condition set forth in our Lord's teaching in Luke 11, and that is, "importunity." He tells us that the man succeeds in gaining his object simply by his importunate earnestness. He is not to be put off; he must get the three loaves. Importunity prevails even where the claims of friendship prove inoperative. The man is bent on his object; he has no alternative. There is a demand, and he has nothing to meet it — "I have nothing to set before my travelling friend." In short, he will not take a refusal.

Now, the question is, how far do we understand this great lesson? It is not, blessed be God, that He will ever answer us "from within." He will never say to us, "Trouble me not" — "I cannot rise and give thee." He is ever our true and ready "Friend" — "a cheerful, liberal, and unupbraiding Giver." All praise to His holy name! Still, He encourages importunity, and we need to ponder His teaching. There is a sad lack of it in our prayer-meetings. Indeed, it will be found that in proportion to the lack of definiteness is the lack of importunity. The two go very much together. Where the thing sought is as definite as the "three loaves," there will generally be the importunate asking for it, and the firm purpose to get it.