What is the difference between chastity and celibacy?

The unmarried Christian and sexuality

We are dealing here with a problem that only exists for an unmarried believer in this form: a life of sexual purity and abstinence. Of course, all Christians are called to a life of (sexual) purity, but for the married Christian this means being faithful to his or her marriage partner and to have sexual intercourse only with her or him, whereas for someone who is unmarried it means a life of permanent sexual abstinence. In a completely sexualised society this can be a hard thing for a teenage Christian, but it may not be much easier for a 30-year-old unmarried Christian either.

In today’s society self-denial is seen as a negative idea. The view most people around us take today is that you have a right to live out all your wishes and desires. But the life of a Christian is often connected with sacrifice. In a Christian marriage each partner makes sacrifices out of love. Living out your desires in an egoistic way is unthinkable in this context. Therefore, the unmarried believer should be willing to deny himself or herself in order to live a life of sexual abstinence for the Lord’s sake and His honour.

Sexual desire may become very strong so the requirement to live in this way may be considered a hard imposition. In such a case it is helpful if the young Christian concerned talks confidentially to a mature Christian of the same sex or a couple to find the help, support and prayer he or she needs. Beware of any ‘alternative solution’ (masturbation, pornography, films, etc.)! This will only make you unhappy and increase your burdens, and it will bring you into spiritual free fall. ‘For the rest, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are noble, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are amiable, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue and if any praise, think on these things’ (Phil. 4:8).

It seems pretty clear that in this passage the word, "virgin" is used as covering the unmarried of either sex. The Apostle's teaching may be summarized in this: that marriage is good, as is every divine institution; it is wholly right and permissible; yet that to remain in the unmarried state is better, if it is maintained in order to be more wholly at the Lord's disposal for His interests. If such do not "attend upon the Lord without distraction," their celibacy may only cast a snare upon them.

The disciples, with their question, lay bare their own hearts. If such was the case, they think, that the best thing is not to marry at all. He speaks then of what incapacitates for marriage. Some are unfitted for this divinely instituted relation by nature, others have been made so by wicked men, a custom still largely prevailing in the Orient. There is a third class who are exempt, and these are those who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of the heavens. This does not mean mutilation. It means, no doubt, living in an unmarried state for the sake of the kingdom. It is not a law, not an obligation, nor a "sacrament." Celibacy is a man-made and wicked doctrine, contrary to Scripture. "He that is able to receive it, let him receive it." It is then something to be received, a gift from above. The grace and power of God is able to lift some to whom it is given, above the natural things of life. Paul undoubtedly was such a one to whom it was given. "For I would that all men were even as myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.... But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh; but I spare you. But this I say, brethren, the time is short, it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none.... But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord" (1 Cor. 7:7, 28-32).

But, says the Lord, "All men receive not this saying, save they to whom it is given. For there are some eunuchs which were so born from their mother's womb; and there are some eunuchs which were made eunuchs of men; and there be eunuchs which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it" (vers. 11, 12). There, I apprehend that, while maintaining the institution of marriage naturally, the Lord shows there is a power of God that can raise people above it. The apostle Paul was acting in the spirit of this verse, when he gives us his own judgment as one that had "obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful" (1 Cor. 7:25). Doubtless he was called to a remarkable work, which would have made due attention to family relationship very difficult. His business lay and took him everywhere. Wherever there were churches to care for, wherever souls cried, Come over and help us — and far beyond the calls of saints or men, the Holy Ghost laid it on his devoted heart. With wife or family to care for, the work of the Lord could not have been so thoroughly done. Hence the wise and gracious judgment of the apostle, not given as a command, but left to weigh on the spiritual mind. The last of the three classes in the verse is figuratively expressed: it means, plainly, living unmarried for God's glory. But mark, it is a gift, not a law, much less a caste. Only such receive it "to whom it is given." It is put as a privilege. As the apostle presses the honourableness of marriage, he was the last to lay the smallest slur on such a tie; but he also knew of a higher and all-absorbing love, an entrance, in measure, into the affections of Christ for the Church. Still this is not an imposed obligation, but a special call and gift of grace in which he rejoiced to glorify his Master. The appreciation of the love of Christ to the Church had formed him in its own pattern. Observe here, it is "made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake" — that order of things which depends on Christ now in heaven. And hence, strong in the grace that shines in Him at the right hand of God, they to whom it is given walk above the natural ties of life — not despising them; but honouring them, while individually surrendering themselves to that goodly portion which shall not be taken from them.

παρθένος. Used symbolically for those in separation from evil. Paul had espoused the saints at Corinth to one husband to 'present them as a chaste virgin to Christ.' 2 Cor. 11:2: cf. Rev. 14:4. In their natural application the words apply to both sexes, and in 1 Cor. 7:36-37 it is perhaps better translated 'his virginity.'

But one might stand with firmness of faith, having no necessity for marriage, having control over his own will, and purposing that he will maintain his virginity. This is the case of one making himself a eunuch for the kingdom of heaven's sake (Mt. 19:12). If it is not too common, yet it is blessedly commendable.

But one might stand with firmness of faith, having no necessity for marriage, having control over his own will, and purposing that he will maintain his virginity. This is the case of one making himself a eunuch for the kingdom of heaven's sake (Mt. 19:12). If it is not too common, yet it is blessedly commendable.

Paul in his godly jealousy for the Corinthian believers would desire that they should be presented "as a chaste virgin to Christ" (2 Corinthians 11:2). The words used by the Spirit of God in this verse are of tremendous significance. "Chaste" involves bodily purity and moral blamelessness — but additionally carries the thought of that which is marked by awe, something quite uncommon to the trend of things in this ungodly world. It also has the further thought of being costly in a sacrificial sense. If we would yield joy to the heart of Christ, then essentially the flesh must be refused! Burdened thus in his desire for the glory of his Lord in the saints, the apostle is marked by godly jealousy — a glowing with fervent heat.

As Christians we are engaged to Jesus Christ and are to be faithful and true to Him, keeping ourselves as a chaste virgin for Himself, unspotted from the world that crucified Him, and not giving our love and affections to the world system of the enemy of our Beloved One, but bestowing all our love and friendship upon Him, rendering faithful service to Him, and living for Himself in joyful expectation of His coming for us and that day of nuptial union. This is a responsibility which flows from this most intimate relationship with Christ.

But we know that Christ is a living Person, who loves us, and delights in us and in our love to Him, and that He gave Himself for us that He might wholly possess us. He can be satisfied with nothing less than our love. The greatest joy we can give to Him is to love Him, and to yield up ourselves to Him in full surrender. The greatest work we can do is to keep ourselves for Him. This is what it means to be a chaste virgin for Christ.